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Parenting

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Original poster

Come and talk to me about table manners for 6 year olds....

63 replies

heritagewarrior · 12/04/2015 10:34

What are the house rules at the dinner (or breakfast or lunch) table in your house? I don't think we're doing very well in our house and I'm after some perspective!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AtomicDog · 13/04/2015 22:57

dessert!

TeWiSavesTheDay · 13/04/2015 23:04

Eat with your mouth closed and use your knife and fork (except where genuinely appropriate to use hands)

They have to ask to get down and I often ask them to wait until everyone is finished.

They are not allowed to be rude about food even if they don't like it (this one is a challenge some days!)

They should sit on the chair not hanging half off it (don't ask)

They must wear pants (...)

If they want pudding they must have eaten at least 2/3 of their veg.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 13/04/2015 23:06

Don't deliberately pour drinks on the table.

Don't play make believe games with your siblings cutlery.

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Fantail · 14/04/2015 07:02

Thanks for the cutlery advice! DH is in the UK in a couple of weeks time, so I will send him to investigate

liveloveluggage · 14/04/2015 07:10

I like They must wear pants! I have a rule of no talking about anything disgusting, as I am easily put off my food.

Fantail · 14/04/2015 07:11

I have an only child. Where possible we eat together (or her with at least one of us). I think it's the only way for them to learn how to use cutlery properly.

We've always had a taste, but not have to eat rule. I've just started to get "yuk", my response is that, "it hurts my feelings because I've worked hard." After about 2 weeks, she stopped herself saying it tonight.

Bribery also is good. If there's dessert, you don't get it if you leave the table.

SoupDragon · 14/04/2015 07:11

I don't enforce the "stay til everyone's finished" rule because the teenage boy eats like a starving locust and the small girl eats like a snail. No one starts til everyone has their food though.

Much the same rules as everyone else. Use cutlery, eat with your mouth closed, don't talk with your mouth full.

I don't really understand "no elbows on the table" as a rule. I know it is one, but I can see no real reason for it, unlike the other rules. I tend to stick to the rules that I can give an explanation for otherwise I get into a discussion that ends with "Because it is and I said so OK?"!

bearhug · 14/04/2015 13:07

Hmm - we were doing reasonably well I thought. Sitting nicely, using cutlery, waiting until everyone has finished before leaving the table.

Explaining that saying 'yuk' hurt my feelings didn't quite have the desired effect though. DS 6 took my hand, looked me in the eye and said: 'Mammy, I am sorry to say it, but your cooking is getting worse and worse'.

BertieBotts · 14/04/2015 14:36

I still cut DS' meat for him I have visions of him slipping and spilling the whole lot onto the table and I can't be arsed to deal with the histronics that would occur. I'm sure he'll learn to cut just fine if he starts doing it later.

Elbows on the table, my Grandma told me, is from older times when you'd have had 10 or more people around a dining table which would today be sold for six (and used for four). Elbows on the table took up precious room and barged into your neighbour. It's not really necessary today but people remember it somehow.

TeWi I am glad it's not just us :) 2and2 DH tried that... DS has eaten at least three meals standing up but still hasn't learnt how to sit on a chair properly. School are going to LOVE him next year.

liveloveluggage · 14/04/2015 16:22

Learning to cut their food up is great for school, many kids can't, especially more difficult things like meat and this means the dinner ladies have to help them which is difficult to manage when they have something like a roast dinner and so many need help.

BertieBotts · 14/04/2015 17:41

Oh good point. He's not at school yet though, they don't start until later where we live. I'll get him practising before September!

lostscot · 14/04/2015 21:56

Trust me the ta's and dinner ladies don't enjoy cutting 30 dinners!

BlueBananas · 14/04/2015 22:10

Oh dear, we may have to address our meal times...the only rules we have is that you try everything on your plate, and you can sit on your bottoms or knees but not toes (they like to crouch & eat...why?!)
I've never even mentioned chewing with their mouth closed! What age did you all start enforcing that rule?

Graceymac · 15/04/2015 19:30

My children are a disaster, 2, 4 & 6 yr old dds. They squabble & chase each other around the kitchen table. We don't eat together as a family as my du is not home from work at 5pm when they eat. Any later and they will raid the biscuit tin. Everyone else's meal times sound so civilised in comparison . Black pudding the list of rules sounds like a great idea.

Kiwiinkits · 16/04/2015 05:39

Mine are small (4 and 3) and we only manage to eat together once or twice a week. They currently have terrible table manners. This thread has inspired me to start enforcing some rules. We already have "you must wear pants" rule as the three year old is a committed nudist.

Kiwiinkits · 16/04/2015 05:40

My DH throws a tantrum if I try and suggest a 'no phones at the table' rule.

alison6692 · 16/04/2015 16:11

I have a 5yr old and 7 yr old.
Our rules are

No toys at the table
They do get to have TV as a treat if I am not eating with them.
No talking with your mouth full.
No phones at table.
Normal stuff really.

We do have one very controversial rule.

You get pudding regardless of how much dinner you eat!!! Now initially when I was given this suggestion by my HV I wasn't sure either. However my very fussy son was dominating meal times with bad behaviour and refusing to eat whilst my daughter sat and ate beautifully and got very little of our attention. So we put the dinner down and you eat it or not ( and we don't get involved in trying to encourage our son to eat). Then the plates are cleared and everyone gets pudding. I know this seems a bit crazy and the Grandparents were not happy about this new and crazy parenting method. But ... it worked!! Son is still fussy at times but he has now recognised we are ignoring him and most of the time he eats his dinner with no fuss.

mumof4crazy · 16/04/2015 16:14

No elbows on the table
Use your knife and fork
Don't chew with your mouth open
Sit or kneel if your to short.
No messing about.
Wait till everyone's finished to leave
Plate must be clear for pudding

alison6692 · 16/04/2015 16:15

Oh and we do stay at the table until everyone has finished but we do tend to play a game like 20 questions or something like to try and prevent them getting too bored. I had a very strict up bringing and you can't help but bring those values to your own meal times.

JesusIsComingLookBusy · 16/04/2015 16:47

How do you get them to stay at the table though I end up chasing my 3 year old around the house while my dinner goes cold

RabidFairy · 16/04/2015 16:56

Try your food before you declare you don't like it
Use cutlery (in the 5 year olds case that means use your knife, for the 3 year it means just don't use your hands)
Stay at the table (harder for the 3 year old)
No interrupting anyone else

We're quite relaxed about toys and books. I wouldn't allow electronics, but I don't mind the odd book or toy, on the rare occasions they want them.
The 3 year old isn't great at home, but has lovely table manners when put and about!

BertieBotts · 16/04/2015 17:01

At three - stay or you have to sit in a baby booster?? I used to eat separately because it was too annoying.

You can also take food away when they leave the table and not bring it back, but at 3 DS wouldn't have cared about that at the time and then would have been hellish later but not made the connection himself to food.

Pengweng · 16/04/2015 17:03

Must attempt to use cutlery, normally they start off using forks etc but then regress to fingers half way through. They are 2 though (smile)
No blowing bubbles in your milk/water/juice/whatever. This really really annoys me for some reason even though i loved doing it as a kid.
Must try all food on plate.
They can leave when they are finished, i'm not going to sit there for another 20 mins and listen to them whine about getting down. If they are done then they are done. (Although i do make them stay at the table when eating out but bring stickers and crayons or a book so they can entertain themselves)

That's about it so far. I expect i will have to make new ones up as they get older and start to become more annoying haha

dansmum · 16/04/2015 17:39

Mine are older at 11 and 10. They still need reminding about sitting down properly..but have mastered cutlery and polite approach to unliked foods. They ask to get down if others are dawdling ( dd is terminally slow eater). We always had a no toys/no electronics at the table rule at home as we do like to talk to each other..but conversely if we go out to each they are allowed if the delay between ordering and service is long., but during the meal absolutely not.

MummyIsMyFavouriteName · 16/04/2015 17:46

Everyone must have their food before you start eating;
Hold your cutlery correctly (doesn't matter which hands as I use mine the wrong way too);
No pudding unless you eat all your dinner;
Have to try all your food but it's ok not to like something;
You can take as much food as you like but only if you are going to eat it all;
You must sit at the table until everyone is finished;
Absolutely NO PHONES or tablets or anything at the table.

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