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Original poster

HV says I'm spoiling my 3mo DD with attention!

53 replies

milsmummy15 · 07/04/2015 18:37

Had my 3 month check with HV today. DD was asleep when HV came, when she woke up I picked DD up and she was all smiley, like she usually is, and HV was chatting away to DD, when HV turned away to talk to me, DD starting getting fussy until HV turned back to her, then DD was all smiles again, HV said I was spoiling her with attention and if it carried on, she'd be spoilt when she grew up.

DD is my rainbow baby and DH works 12 hour shifts as a paramedic, so for a lot of the time it is just me and DD, and I do pay her a lot of attention, she's also the first grandchild on my side, so she gets a lot of attention from my side. Am I spoiling her?

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midnight1983 · 07/04/2015 18:38

No! Your hv sounds like a dragon. Enjoy your baby!

readysteady · 07/04/2015 18:39

Nope your HV is nuts!

MisterDobalina · 07/04/2015 18:39

That is complete bollocks. No baby ever suffered from an excess of love and attention. Smile and nod next time.

Congratulations on your wee baby!

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HumptyDumptyBumpty · 07/04/2015 18:41

Spoiling her? Huh? Nonsense. If she were 3 years old, and you responded instantly to her every noise, perhaps still probably not but not at 3mo.

GratefulHead · 07/04/2015 18:41

Ex HV here, your HV sounds like a loon. Loads of research out there about how important affectionate interaction is with babies. Yoh are not spoiling your baby, you are teaching her that the world is a safe place and that her primary care giver (you) will respond to her needs, it helps her feel safe and secure.

Enjoy your baby and ignore this silly woman.

Jackiebrambles · 07/04/2015 18:42

She's mental.

redcaryellowcar · 07/04/2015 18:42

Absolute rubbish, can't believe your hv said that. You interact with her as much as she wants. I imagine she'll grow up feeling loved and will be a fabulously sociable and smiley little girl, best advice I was given when I first had ds1 was trust your instinct ai think yours are spot on.

SolasEile · 07/04/2015 18:43

It's pretty much impossible to spoil a 3 month old. Your HV must not have the faintest clue about child development.

She probably saw you were a first time parent and thought she'd get a little dig in to unsettle you and make you doubt your parenting abilities. Just for yuks! Probably a quiet Tuesday in the office...Hmm

TheGirlAtTheRockShow · 07/04/2015 18:44

You can't spoil a 3 month old! Crazy woman.
You are doing exactly what you should be doing.

ImperialBlether · 07/04/2015 18:45

Well, my son gave himself a hernia (literally) when I had the nerve to run round to the shops without him, so god knows what she would have had to say to me! And now he's 23, living an independent and happy life, not spoiled or begging for attention.

moomoob · 07/04/2015 18:49

Never ever listen to a hv smile nod agree tell them what they want to hear and carry on doing what your doing. If mum & baby are happy & content then your doing nothing wrong.

LittleBairn · 07/04/2015 18:51

She's one of those people that thinks attention and affection are bad for people ignore her.

GratefulHead · 07/04/2015 18:52

Please don't tell me she is a young HV. I came across older ones like this when I was a HV. I left because I couldn't stand the misinformation and poor advice being handed out.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 07/04/2015 18:53

Your HV needs a slap with a kipper, you cannot spoil your baby with attention as her mum you are supposed to be the centre of her world. Just nod, smile and keep on doing what you're doing.

JemFinch · 07/04/2015 18:53

Some of the best advice I got given was you don't HAVE to see a health visitor...

The few I came across were utterly useless.

BreacaBoudica · 07/04/2015 18:56

I'd actually complain about her. Other mums might feel obliged to follow her advice due to a lack of confidence. She shouldn't be allowed to tell mums that sort of shite.

Original poster
milsmummy15 · 07/04/2015 18:57

Thank you so much guys, I normally do just smile and nod, but that really got to me.

I'd say she was late 40's early 50's.

OP posts:
Radioactiva · 07/04/2015 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoffeeTwo · 07/04/2015 19:02

You can't spoil a baby with love. You are forming a positive attachment and she is learning to trust you and feel safe.

HV is a misery. Keep on doing what you're doing.

TragicallyUnbeyachted · 07/04/2015 19:02

I think the only person you are paying too much attention to is your HV...

I still time about the HV's assistant who told me that DC1 was "bad -tempered" and I'd "have to do something about that". As older children it's actually DC2 (smiling angelic baby) who has a shocking temper; DC1 was just very frustrated until he got mobile.

CoffeeTwo · 07/04/2015 19:03

x post radio :)

TragicallyUnbeyachted · 07/04/2015 19:03

Fume, not time. Damnyouautocorrect.

Kelly1814 · 07/04/2015 19:06

Yes, you are spoiling her. Pass her over here so I can snuggle and cuddle and spoil her :)

Your HV is ridic.

gonegrey56 · 07/04/2015 19:08

You are a brilliant Mum, just ignore the utterly useless hv!

rosedavo · 07/04/2015 19:15

What a rediculus thing to say, hv obviously thinks she knows it all... what an idiot!

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