HV says I'm spoiling my 3mo DD with attention!

[milsmummy15]

Had my 3 month check with HV today. DD was asleep when HV came, when she woke up I picked DD up and she was all smiley, like she usually is, and HV was chatting away to DD, when HV turned away to talk to me, DD starting getting fussy until HV turned back to her, then DD was all smiles again, HV said I was spoiling her with attention and if it carried on, she'd be spoilt when she grew up.

DD is my rainbow baby and DH works 12 hour shifts as a paramedic, so for a lot of the time it is just me and DD, and I do pay her a lot of attention, she's also the first grandchild on my side, so she gets a lot of attention from my side. Am I spoiling her?

Babies were born to be spoilt and indulged!

OMG what a tube!
You're teaching Her about interaction and social skills and she's learning from you!! Why on earth would she say something so stupid.
My 2 months old shouts at me if I don't look at her enough. I think its amazing she already had that social development.

I can't thank you all enough. I shall carry on spoiling my little girly with all the love and attention I have been and the 'odd' toy, book or very cute dress

Was she joking perhaps...?

I thought that at first, so i started laughing, she didn't

I thought that at first, so i started laughing, she didn't

She sounds strange. Everyone on here seems to run into weird ones. All mine have been fine.

What's a rainbow baby?

Yes, I'd like to know what a rainbow baby is too

What an awful thing to say to a new mum! I hope you showed her the door soon after. If a HV said this to me when I had my first is have burst into tears.

It's a baby after a MC or still birthing think

op

Joyfull is correct.

This is the second time I've seen this HV, the first one i had was absolutely amazing.

The HV is ridiculous, insensitive and COMPLETELY wrong, I have absolutely no clue why anyone would think like her. I'm afraid that (I think) she must be a stupid, unimaginative and unpleasant person. God knows why she's a HV.

[Thanks] milsmummy

I'm angry now. your hv must be aware of your history, and still said it! Utter cowbag.

Enjoy your lovely Rainbow baby and all the smiles and cuddles you can take.

Do you know, I'd actually report her for that.

That comment goes against EVERYTHING we know about child development.

You can't 'spoil' a baby by giving them attention, love, closeness. It's the opposite - that's what makes them feel secure, happy and allows them to develop as they should.

Quite frankly, that comment demonstrated that your HV was not up to her job.

You've got the nous to post on here and be reassured that she's a twat. But what about a less confident, first time mum who would listen to her, and go home and make herself and her baby miserable by withholding some of the love and attention, turning away when baby cries, mistakenly thinking that's the 'right thing to do'?

Report her, seriously. She needs some bloody retraining as well as an injection of common sense kindness!

I had to Google "rainbow baby"

OP, enjoy giving your baby attention. I was like that with DS1, partly because I thought I would never have any more DC. He's now 16, and doesn't want any attention, unless it involves food. Your HV is ridiculous!

Congrats on your rainbow baby op, they are extra special. Your HV is a loon.

I would also actively report her for that. If she spouts that shit too often someone more vulnerable and without a load of mn'ers to confirm she's talking tripe may actually listen to her and give their poor baby less love and attention

Thanks Plonky I'm just going to put it out of my mind now i know I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't have to see her for another six months now maybe she'll of had a lobotomy by then

Thank you for explaining joyfull

I'm assuming your hv is aware of your history OP, so shame on her! Sounds like you are doing a fine job with your lovely rainbow baby

Ridiculous! I'm glad to see everyone agreeing too. I would say it's the ones who lack love and attention that turn troublesome when older as the only way they learn to get attention is to become a monster! I gave my PFB every ounce of my attention he has never been a problem and has developed into a typical teen now - a perfectly normal and frustrating lad!

Ignore the hv. It is IMPOSSIBLE to spoil a baby by giving them attention. There's no such thing as too much attention when it comes to babies!

Enjoy your baby and ignore your hv. If she complains, tell her you're trying to not spoil her by giving her your attention.

This comment from a HV only reinforces my opinion that they are not fit for purpose. "Stupid, unimaginative and unpleasant" sums up just about every HV I've had the misfortune to meet. Complain, complain, complain.

I wont have a choice but to report her once i tell my mum she'll hit the frigging roof I can see where you're all coming from about reporting her, and after reading all of your comments, i think i will. I wouldn't want another mum feeling like this.

Especially after losing a baby op, that makes things even trickier. I am v cross on your behalf. I refused to see my HV soon DD2 came home (DD1 died - DD1/DD2 dtwins). They upset me at such a difficult time that I still stay away and they never saw DD3 2 years later. So much harm at such a vulnerable time.

OP, if the HV comes out with this shit, how you trust anything she says to you? She ought to be re-trained or retired. She shouldn't be allowed anyway near vulnerable mothers and their babies. What a cow