HELP: Welcome Pack for 2 Young Girls

[KittyFan83]

Really hoping you guys can help me out with some buying advice here.

Long story short, I don't have any children. My brother has two young girls. They will be living with my mum permanently (she is a pensioner) very soon (next few months) as my brother and his partner can't care for them. My mum is brilliant, and will do a great job caring for them.

I live far from her, so I can't be there day-in day-out to see what is needed. But I'd really like to put together a "welcome pack" of sorts, to send for each of them for when they arrive with her.

Now, my mum has raised 4 kids and done a brilliant job of that, so I'm sure she'll have the basics covered easily. They won't go neglected in any sense.

But I'd really appreciate your advice on what I could include in these packs that would be useful, and valued (by the girls or by my mum!). At the very least, it will help her feel supported in what is a huge commitment for her at her age.

The girls are aged 5 and 2 and a half.

As I don't have kids, I genuinely have no idea what their needs could be. I'm guessing they won't need nappies/special food, but even that is just a guess. So, what kinds of presents would/your kids have really appreciated when they were around that age?

I'm looking to spend maybe £20-40 per child on this, depending on suggestions.

Thanks! (And sorry to be an intruder here, but you're really the best people I have to ask for advice on this).

I could ask my mum about this, but she'd just tell me not to worry and she'll take care of things. But I know the gift would have a lot of symbolic value to her if it arrives unexpected. ;)

Wow. Both your mum and you sound like lovely people.

The 2.5 yr old may well still be in nappies especially at night time. But as you don't know for sure maybe park that one.

Where will they be sleeping? Maybe something to make their room feel special and welcoming. You can get lovely wall mural-type stickers (which come back off) to decorate their room which would allow them to be involved? Maybe a welcome teddy or something each?

For something that will be practical (for your Mum) but also seen as a lovely present for each of the girls, you could go for a quilt/pillow set with a design they will like (could be something like Dora the Explorer or might be a space theme or a sea theme or something that is probably a bit more 'special' than an ordinary one and) is "theirs".
Ditto towels - my dc all had their own special towel for taking swimming (and later sewed their swimming badges on) - again, they like is as something special for themselves, but will also be one less thing for your Mum to need to have.
A special soft toy would, I'm sure, also go down very well.

What about something for the garden - a paddling pool maybe? Some balls / skipping ropes / bats or racquets / paints and brushes???

You sound really thoughtful, and your Mum sounds like a hero for taking them on.
I'm sure some parents of younger dcs (mine are teens and I'm doing this from memory) will be along with better suggestions soon.

Thanks MrsNucky Thompson,
They will be moving into my large bedroom from when I lived there. This currently still has my double bed in it (for some months my mum hasn't known whether they'd be coming or not, so she's parked buying a lot of things just in case, so she can focus on their most immediate needs when they do go to her).

That bed will be fine in the short term and, due to not running out to buy stuff, she has set aside money to get them their own beds - she felt letting them pick this kind of stuff out would help them settle in.

They will be starting new schools/nurserys as they'll be moving quite a distance to go live with her. Would school/nursery clothing or stationery be useful? (Maybe I should just get gift vouchers at ASDA or somewhere for clothing…)

Would it be worth getting some "first aid" type things like plasters, live treatments, etc? My siblings and I never got lice, but if it's only a couple of quid, I think she'd appreciate the gesture. If she didn't use it, someone else at school would, and if she did have to use it, she'd get the feeling that I'm thinking of her. Either way, opening the pack and seeing that would probably make her laugh a bit.

Any other first aid type things young kids regularly go through?? I'm totally lost here!

I was thinking some basic presents, like Crayola crayon sets - I know they have some favourite cartoon characters, but that kind of thing feels a bit universal to me (i.e. they'd like it even if they change which characters they love next week!).

I was also thinking of a few books. I used to love Roald Dahl and books like that (at an older age than they are now), but I honestly couldn't guess what would be age-appropriate. I don't know precise details of their academic development, but would say that although they're by no means slow, given the conditions they've been in so far, I wouldn't want to give them anything much beyond what is aimed squarely at their age-group. Maybe I should take this bit off to my local Waterstones and bend the ears of their children's dept staff for that bit!

I agree that personalising their space might help. Perhaps name signs for their bedroom door. The wall decals are great. We just got some Frozen ones. Most girls of that age seem to like Frozen.

Other ideas - childrens plates, cutlery etc, princess dresses, a toy box, bookcase.

I think anything personalised would be a lovely touch. A wooden sign for the door or bunting saying Sarah and Amy's Room. Or separate name bunting to go over their beds when they get them.
I think that will help them feel wanted at your mum's.

Okay, giving this a bit more thought, I'm thinking….

1. A basic first aid kit (I've done 1st aid training, so have this covered)

2. Maybe get a bottle of lice treatment, more as an in-joke with me and my mum re the long-term commitment she's signed up for…

3. I'd like to get each of them a present (or two presents they can share, basically). I'd like those to be a bit educational, but not DRY! The impression I've got (I haven't been in my brother's life in nearly a decade now) is that the only entertainment they've had has mostly been on the very light side, no emphasis from their parents on stimulating them per se.
   So maybe a book, and another present like Lego, or a very basic science kit (nature/gardening kit or very basic electronics kit or something) that is age-appropriate. But I'm really lost here as to what might be age-appropriate. Even Lego feels like it might be a bit too old, to me. I really don't know kids' development at all…

4. Some clothing vouchers for somewhere like ASDA for school/general clothing needs - is ASDA good for this? Or are there similar reputable stores with better lines?

5. Something relaxing for my mum, like a luxury bath set, to remind her to take time to invest in herself.

I already have them signed up for the Early Learning Centre 20% birthday discount, and a whole bunch of other kids freebies I've found online.

They will have some books from when we were young (classics, Roald Dahl, Lion With Wardrobe, that kind of thing that my mum can start off by reading to them, and some Harry Potter too).

They will also have plenty by way of stuff like bedding. I know my mum has budgeted for clothing/etc, but giving her some vouchers towards this will help free up that budgeted cash for other spends she may not have foreseen, so that still works. They just definitely won't be desperate for a pillow, or towel, or something. You know?

Sorry for rambling, but I do feel totally lost here in a way! Kids feels a bit like aliens to me ever since I stopped being one! ;) Just trying to do best by them.

(As disclosure - the kid's info in my profile is to give you an idea of their age, but has changed their names for their privacy)

Pico2 and blueemerald - I'm loving that idea of personalised door labels!! Thanks so much for that (I wouldn't have thought of it, but get what you mean by it).

They'll be sharing a room for now, but I'm sure we can make that work nicely.

I'd also like to get them a print of a photograph of themselves, so they can feel like they own the space in that way - I remember growing up there were lots of pictures of us on the walls, so….

Thanks all - you're helping me so massively with this, really needed to be able to connect with some people who would understand what I'm trying to do. Hugely appreciated! :)

These sorts of things are nice - their own name, but in something they can use / move about - indeed, practice spelling their names.

You can lovely plasters now, fun characters rather than just boring pale pink.
Find out what their favorite colors are for duvet colors/bedding & towels. BHS has good quality bright colored towels.
Fun plastic or melamine crockery so they can help put things in the dishwasher if your mum has one without her worrying about breaking them.
You can buy sets of Roald Dahl books from The Book People from time to time for much less than RRP.

I got DD some gorgeous bunting with her name on it from Not On The High Street. It's beautiful.

You and your mum sound wonderful

BackForGood - you just reminded me of how attached I'd get to my swimming towels!! Good memories, there! Great idea, but I think re towels/bedding/clothing, I'd be better off getting vouchers and letting them pick rather than me picking for them. I'd still like to get them a little something that is tangible when they first arrive, though. Maybe a small present plus vouchers that can be spent on those things?

Those letters you've linked to are also ace!! If not those, then I think getting magnetic ones would work brilliantly. Gonna have to give Ika's kids section a check over in light of these ideas, too (if not for me to get as part of this welcome pack, then at least to talk through with mum re them re-designing my old room for themselves)

Eastpoint - that's an excellent idea re making the plasters fun for them as well as practical! Exactly the kind of thing I just don't think of as a non-parent. Thank you!!

Quick Q - do kids this age tend to break a lot of plates/glasses? I'm guessing so. I know mum mum doesn't have any/many plastic dish ware, so that could be a good investment.

Do they also need plastic cutlery? Or are they cool with regular metal cutlery at those ages?

Books are always a good bet. My DD loves Julia Donaldson books.

A keepsake could be nice? A family photo album perhaps? Of course I don't know what the situation with with their dad but could old photographs of him be an idea? (Sorry if that's terrible!)

I would get some creative stuff-washable paints, crayons, gluesticks, safe scissors, sticker books and plenty of paper-Wilkinsons is good for stuff like this

And definitely yes for plastic dinnerware. Especially for the youngest!

My daughter is 4 so in between your two ages. What is but is.....

Water bottles for school for the older one.
Beakers for the younger one.
Nice cutlery / melamine plate : bowl for them.
Some books for bedtime - my suggestions would be The Gruffalo, Room on a Broom, Tiger that came to tea, Cat in a hat, the pirates next door, harry and his bucketful of dinosaurs, we're going on a bear hunt, guess how much I love you, peppa pig books, love you forever
Nice flashing or similar toothbrush and paste
A tangle teaser hairbrush if they have long hair - they're expensive but worth their wait in gold.
3 billion hair clips and bobbles. Send this amount approximately every 2 days.
A cuddly toy.
A set of PJs.
Some drawing stuff.

What is but is ??? What I'd buy is...

FFS worth their weight in gold!! They really are by the way they save hours of screaming over hair knots.

A magazine subscription might work too. My DD loves getting magazines. Asda is good for clothes as long as there is one near your mum's house. Books with CDs of the audio book are quite nice. A few kid's DVDs might be helpful.

We have a lot of photos of our DD's and DD1's drawings and paintings on our fridge & freezer, so magnets can be useful.

I'd skip the lice treatment. It's expensive, would probably go off before it was needed and might give quite the wrong message about the state of the girls when they arrived (irrespective of the actual circumstances, you wouldn't want the girls to receive that message).

Thanks all….

1. Plastic dish ware - how many per kid? My mum has a dishwasher, but I'm guessing 2-3 bowls per kid as a minimum, right?

2. BOBBLES!!!! And HAIRBRUSHES!!! Omg, I'm now having flashback of my aunty almost scalping with bad brushing technique and an even worse comb…..excellent call - precisely the kind of cheap-but-urgent thing we'd all forget with all the crazy, higher-level stuff being focussed on. This is SO on my list right now, thanks!!

3. Yep, the "make an art pack cheaply" thing is striking a very good chord with me. I can handle organising what goes in that, and it should be very welcomed. Good call! (Tbh, I'm not even close to thinking straight on what would be best before chatting to you awesome folk - I've spent months doing the "shoulder to lean on/emotional support" thing, and the sudden switch to "they're coming soon" has taken all of us by surprise - huge thanks for your help!)

I'd get 2 bowls and 2 smallish melamine plates per child. Make the bowls quite deep so they're harder to tip and can be used for cereal / porridge / yogurt as well as chopped fruit / ice cream / jelly.

Thanks, 306235388, nice one :)

My kids both like their fleecy blankets too....like this

Also your mum will surely need calpol, calprofen and dioralyte at some point with plenty of medicine spoons and syringes. Oh and a decent thermometer.

Thanks again, my mum has two gorgeous fleecy blankets plus one supersoft black throw from before I moved out plus my thermometer from when I levied there (I was supposed to collect it right before all this happened, but said she could keep it - gotta get myself a replacement at some point, but no stress)

Is it really bad that, while I'm well aware of the word "melamine", I have no actual working idea of what that means in feel/use??

;)