HELP: Welcome Pack for 2 Young Girls

[KittyFan83]

Really hoping you guys can help me out with some buying advice here.

Long story short, I don't have any children. My brother has two young girls. They will be living with my mum permanently (she is a pensioner) very soon (next few months) as my brother and his partner can't care for them. My mum is brilliant, and will do a great job caring for them.

I live far from her, so I can't be there day-in day-out to see what is needed. But I'd really like to put together a "welcome pack" of sorts, to send for each of them for when they arrive with her.

Now, my mum has raised 4 kids and done a brilliant job of that, so I'm sure she'll have the basics covered easily. They won't go neglected in any sense.

But I'd really appreciate your advice on what I could include in these packs that would be useful, and valued (by the girls or by my mum!). At the very least, it will help her feel supported in what is a huge commitment for her at her age.

The girls are aged 5 and 2 and a half.

As I don't have kids, I genuinely have no idea what their needs could be. I'm guessing they won't need nappies/special food, but even that is just a guess. So, what kinds of presents would/your kids have really appreciated when they were around that age?

I'm looking to spend maybe £20-40 per child on this, depending on suggestions.

Thanks! (And sorry to be an intruder here, but you're really the best people I have to ask for advice on this).

I could ask my mum about this, but she'd just tell me not to worry and she'll take care of things. But I know the gift would have a lot of symbolic value to her if it arrives unexpected. ;)

Ikea do good children's plates & bowls. Their sheets are good value and 100% cotton - the princess ones seem to go down well.

An in-ear thermometer is very useful but a bit pricey.

Pico2 - will check Ikea for plastic dish ware then, thanks!

UnderEstherMate - not inappropriate at all. While their parents couldn't care for them due to their own choices (at the end of the day), my mum and I both want the girls to retain positive memories as much as possible there. No point making things harder for them when we don't have to. Thanks for your suggestion (I'm missing some comments as I type answers, so apologies for the delayed response)

Right, based on what I've read so far (you guys are AMAZING - anyone told you that?!?) I'm thinking something like this:

1. BOBBLES. LOTS OF THEM. CRAZY AMOUNTS. (This is precisely the kind of detail everyone would miss while doing the bigger things, so absolutely amazingly perfect, said from an ex-long-haired girl who's had that hair-tending nightmare firsthand!)

2. Per child: 2xplastic bowls; 2xmelamine plates (when I've learned what those are); 2x plastic beakers/glasses. Mix of Ikea/Poundland, I'm thinking.

3. Magnetic/wooden/blocky letters for them to spell their names with, to (a) claim their territory in the house, and (b) practice spelling with.

4. Basic first aid kit, but with cartoon character plasters

5. Fairly cheap basic arts kit = crayolas; glue; sketch paper; coloured paper; etc

6. Some vouchers for clothes/bedding/swim towels/wallpaper (so something from a mix of ASDA/B&Q/that kind of place works fine)

7. Something for my mum to relax with on her own, like a good bath set

8. Print photograph(s) of themselves, to decorate the house with and claim that space (like we had photos of us on the walls when we were kids)

You've basically found my God Particle. Mumsnet is the Large Hadron Collider of figuring out what to get for young kids in a new home when you have no experience whatsoever of looking after young kids. THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH. Awww, I'm humbled and grateful to you guys a million times over. So many simple suggestions I'd just not thought of, and I know others involved in this situ will miss, as we keep looking at bigger-issue things. I owe you, big time.

If I ever do end up having kids of my own, bear in mind, I'm giving them to you lot. You clearly know some dark magic of which I can not fathom… ;)

Mild toothpaste might be a suggestion as when mine were little adult toothpaste was too much for them. (& new toothbrushes-character ones go down well as a treat.
Book People website is good for cheap packs of books
Pound shop is handy for cheap art stuff
Does your mum drive? CD of songs or stories for trips?

How about a little night light? Ikea do some nice ones. Or there's ones that plug in and you can also use them as a torch, or ones that make ceiling patterns

Don't get melamine! It's like a brittle plastic, looks nice but my 2yo has smashed all hers (they break in half not bits) on our tiled floor.

I have a 5yo snd a 2yo. I would suggest-

A mini rucksack and lunchbag each. They will need the bag for school/nursery and my DDs like to have picnics in them too in the living room ir at the park.

Nametags maybe? They will need all items labelling again for school/preschool. here do cute starter packs of iron/stick on

Duplo - halfway house between baby blocks and the nightmare that is lego. Both mine love it.

Stickers. Sheets and sheets of stickers in all different themes. Throw in some plain paper and washable pens and you have hours of fairly mess free fun.

Ditto £1 shop or home bargains for art kits.

Oh waterproof mattress protector. Even if they are dry at night it must be an unsettling time so there could be accidents.

For your mum what about a few months membership to a softplay? Never underestimate the joy of throwing your DC into a play area and buying a coffee!

Also maybe scout out local groups, classes, sports clubs etc and support groups and making her a list with times, days and contact numbers?

When you said "get your mum a few months' membership at soft play" I seriously thought you were talking some 50 Shades of Grey on me….

Just shows how out of the loop I am. ;-/

Duplo - yes, we have all ours from way back, plus a ton of Lego, so very familiar with that, and it's already in place (enough for starters, by far…)

Waterprrof mattress protector is worth a serious thought - I hadn't even considered that, and you're right about how the change can affect them (not quite the same, but I just adopted an old cat, and she has toilet problems at first, again just due to the change of enviro)

Nametags also an excellents suggestion that I'll deffo look into. Ditto rucksacks/backpacks, although I have ridiculously huge collection, with a lot back at my mums place (which includes some smaller "pursey" backpacks they could easily use), so I'll revisit that one after I've popped back to hers to recce that situation, but very good call, thanks.

Am drafting some notes, with a plan to hit £1land and £stretcher tomorrow to start with. Been loping at Ikea and they have what seem to be very cheap plastics dish ware. I remember buying the glasses for myself a long time ago, and they were solid, so I think it's IKEA for that stuff mostly.

Be warned - once I have this stuff sorted, I'll be posting pics on here like the insanely proud not-mum that I am to these two wonderful girls (and my wonderful mum) who deserve every ounce of my energy in making this the most worthwhile package I can. Appreciating the help (know I've said it before, but it's true and worth saying again) xx

Well she needs a bit of downtime too

Ok sorry swinging pensioners, disturbing

Looking forward to the pics, good luck!

"Ok sorry swinging pensioners, disturbing grin"

Enough said.

;)

Hi if you would like to pm me their names and what sort of things they might like eg Ponies I would be happy to make them bunting for above their beds. Since you and your mum are doing such a great thing I thought it would be a nice idea. Might take ma a day or so to get back to you.

IKEA do a set of rainbow coloured plastic bowls/plates/beakers/cutlery that I've found invaluable as a mum of 3, very cheap too so they're handy to have around, my kids like the bright colours.

You can also buy large plastic storage crates in lots of different colours and easily fill with crafty bits and bobs from IKEA for a reasonable price, they do a roll of white paper which is handy for lots of drawing and playing because it seems to go in for ever and can be cut to whatever size is needed.
I'd get aprons and a table/floor protector for messy play too.

For those ages, the wooden play kitchen and food/accessories are excellent at (you guessed it) IKEA as well (I don't work for them I promise!) and for clothes vouchers, I'd personally look at H&M, not too pricey but you can get some lovely bright, basics and they do 3 for 2 on all their basic essentials like leggings, vests, T-shirts, jumpers, I find they wash better than Asda and are just better quality for a similar price.

What a lovely thing you're doing for your nieces and Mum, and how lovely is she to be supporting them through a big change like this, it's heartwarming.

I don't think that posting photos of them here is a good idea. It is very different to posting on FB with good privacy settings.

Nice little bags and P.E bags.

pico I misread t that as posting pics of the welcome packs?

What a lovely thread.

With two dd's very close in age to your Neices, I'd recommend:

Pjs/bed slippers/plenty of funky undies (sainsburys have 25% all children's clothes at the moment and quality is very good)
Step stool (also ikea)
Detangling spray (pound shop)
Lots of crafty bits
Bubble bath
Some instant mix cake boxes so they can do some baking with your mum, also some cupcake decorating tubs also in pound land.

Do the girls have many pictures with their parents? I would collect them together, buy a plain spiral bound book with thick paper and make a scrapbook with the 5 year old, to which she can add little sentences in she is able to. It's a nice reminder and also it clarifies to the girls that they are allowed to still love/miss their parents, and even have them in their lives later on on, if possible. I think that's a really important part of their settling in process.

"And they will love and miss their parents, no matter how chaotic their lives have been." This is so, so true. And we do want them to keep good memories, so already agreeing with you about them bringing favourite toys/family photos/etc with them and not overwhelming them with new stuff - I'm looking to build a welcome pack that will have a few bits and pieces that might get overlooked with all the bigger questions like which school going on.

Photos - I meant posting photos of the welcome packs, not photos of the girls or anything that would identify them.

Fleeces/backpacks - if they get any of mine, they'll be given for the girls to keep, not loaned. It would be horrible if they became attached to their favourite blankie only to have it taken away. The two fleecy blankets I have are as-new and have been at my mums for a few years sitting there unused. Nice bright colours, really soft, and there's no point buying new ones when they can have the two that are already there.

I'm a foster carer and have had girls of that age! It can all be very overwhelming at first and getting lots of new stuff can feel disloyal to their old stuff if you get me. It can be quite a scary time as they learn what the new boundaries and rules are in their new home. They may need the security of their own toys initially, rather than lots of new things in a new environment.

My suggestions would have been either a dolls house or a trampoline for the garden. Both get used a lot by all the children who come through our home.

And gin, chocolate and a babysitting offer for your Mum!

I admire families like yours, it is a massive commitment! There will always be support on the adoption or fostering boards if you need it!

Have a look at Bookpeople for collections of childrens books you can often get 10 books for £10 and can search by age.

what a lovely lovely thread :)

Some ideas:
safety bits like corner covers, door locks etc that you could get fairly cheaply.
calpol
a thermometer to test their temperatures
a rainy day pack with activities for the girls to do on a rainy day...word searches, colouring in pages that you can print off...times tables, writing practicing etc. I'm sure if you search kids printables it'll bring things up.
a board game
pack of cards..uno?

could you give the welcome packs in plain wooden boxes? these could then be memory boxes for the girls to keep treasured items in both of their old and new family lives.

If they have long or thick or curly hair I second the tangle teaser suggestion upthread!

wonderpants - thanks for the tip re the adoption/fostering boards, I'll send my mum that way (or give her my account details here after I've done this welcome pack, so she can use my acc to participate on those boards, she's not that tech savvy, but getting better! so proud of her!)

Toys - I was thinking I would get them a basic arts pack and maybe one or two educational/stimulating things (loving the letters they can use to put their own name in their space, for e.g.) or something for the garden, but not get them a lot of toys.

This is because:

1. They'll have their own toys that they'll be bringing with them, and

2. They'll have a ton of toys from when we were young that have been saved and are high quality - I'm talking a lot of Duplo and Lego, and a ton of stuffed toys that my mum will give them over time (she doesn't want to overwhelm them by giving all these stuffed toys at once). These stuffed toys include a load of Beanie Babies, and pretty much every cartoon char acts from before the mid-90s, all still in great condition, and the kind of
   classic characters that are still popular today. They'll be getting these over birthdays/christmases/etc so not all at once, but there's definitely no shortage of stuffed toys there for them

3. It will be good for them to pick out their own toys as part of settling in with my mum

The art pack will be useful because any stuff of mine that's still there will be for a much older age group, and it's cheap to pick up and not something they'll get emotionally attached to (like they would with toys).

I agree with the suggestions about getting something for the garden - didn't think of it until you guys brought it up, but my mum adores her garden. It isn't something she's precious over (the girls will be able to have fun there, not be worried about stepping on a plant or something, you know?), but having an activity that they have to go into the garden to use might help them to claim that space for themselves. And you can get travel toys for outdoors quite cheaply, so it doesn't matter if I got something that they quickly tired of. :)