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Original poster

All boy families

47 replies

tiredmum81 · 27/03/2015 08:19

Hello.

I was wondering if anyone had any words of wisdom regarding having an all boy family? I have recently had my second son and am feeling really down by all the negative comments this seems to attract, from family, friends, colleagues, teachers, strangers in shops...

The day my second son was born, I had healthcare staff asking me if I'd be trying again for a girl. I have a mother in law who constantly urges me to have a girl (as if its like ordering pizza...) And when I commented that she has sons and no girls, she referred to my niece, saying that well, at least now she has a granddaughter now. My sons nursery teacher said she assumed I'd be having more children seeing as how I had 2 boys and confessed she had 4 boys trying to get a girl... My best friend admitted to trying to sway the gender of her second child to ensure she got a girl as her first child is a boy.. Strangers in shops feel the need to tell me they don't know what they'd do with a boy...

I am so sick of all these comments! I find it all depressing and now dread admitting to people I have 2 boys. My husband and mum think they are just silly comments and people don't mean anything by them, and perhaps its a sign I have lead a lucky life without much adversity, but I am shocked that people think they have the right to comment on this! Like, all the time!

Am I being over sensitive? Has anyone else had similar experiences? Is everyone right and is the perfect family made up of a boy and a girl?

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BeverleyCrusher · 27/03/2015 08:24

I have 3 wonderful boys.
People say stupid things without thinking, you have to just ignore it. A child is a child, they all have their own personalities. Some of my friends DDs are tomboys, my middle boy loves Frozen and playing hairdressers.

Re not knowing what to do with a boy... Well you feed them, clothe them, love them, listen to them, support their education etc. pretty much like you would with a girl.

GladysTheGolem · 27/03/2015 08:28

I had 2 boys, during my third successful pregnancy all the 'are you hoping for a girl?' Questions and when she was born 'ooh, bet you're stopping now you've got your girl'.

It's really irritating but I just smile and nod to strangers, she's usually dressed in hand me downs so most people assume I've got three boys

moomoob · 27/03/2015 08:29

Your not being over sensitive at all.i imagine it's the same for families of all girls too. As a mum of 3 boys I think it's great (challenging but great). I too get asked if I'm going to keep going for a girl - no not a chance 3 children is more than enough thank you very much. I don't feel that our family is incomplete or missing anything because there's no girls. I'm looking forward to when they're older having 3 strapping young men looking after their old mum. Ignore everyone else if your happy then who cares.

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ShoeJunkie · 27/03/2015 08:34

Two boys here! Not sure if we will try for DC3 (DS2 is only 8 weeks!) but if we do we will be trying for another child not because we want a girl. As it is I feel incredibly lucky to have two healthy children.

Almostapril · 27/03/2015 08:35

I hate this attitude. I have one of each but I just think I'm blessed to have two bright healthy individual children. It is loaded with assumptions that boys will be boyish like their dad and girls will like girly things and be mummies best friend. My DC don't conform to the stereotypes and never did - nothing to do with me! My DD likes all things 'boyish' and hates pink / princesses etc. My DS is the only one that plays with dolls. Every child is so different regardless of gender and we should enjoy that

moomin35 · 27/03/2015 08:41

Ignore them, I would actively like two boys, I think it would be easier have the same sex and I think boys tend to be a lot more straightforward than girls so I think it's a positive rather than a negative

GrannyWeatherwax2015 · 27/03/2015 08:46

Four boys here and I have had the same comments. My youngest is now 9 but I still get asked when we're going for a girl!

When DS2 was born he was only a few days old when a lady told me 'never mind, you can try again'. I just try to let it all was over me now. Along with all the 'are you mad?' And 'that must be a busy house' and 'you must have your work cut out' comments.

lightgreenglass · 27/03/2015 08:48

I'm pregnant with DS2 and I hate this too. I've always planned to have a third but dreading time when it comes and peoples inane comments. My mum always said my brother was a far easier child than me and my sisters and I can vouch for that, he's unbelievably loving and a real credit to my mum.

Jackieharris · 27/03/2015 08:48

They are projecting their own feelings onto you. If you feel differently that's fine. They should keep their thoughts to themselves but it's not uncommon to think like that.

My experience of visiting all boys households isn't what I'd like for my own family. But is that because they are all boys or because of the parenting? I really wouldn't want to live in a house that's all nerf guns, football, x box, 'naughty' boy behaviour being tolerated etc. but this surely can't be the case for all all boy households? It still puts me off- I'd try for a girl if I'd had 2ds's. But I would never express that sentiment in front of a mum of only boys. even when they say how much they'd hate to have girls

Tootoofunny · 27/03/2015 08:50

The perfect family is made up of people that love each other irregardless of the number or gender of any of them.

I have two boys, and they are such different personalities I honestly don't think they could be more different if they were different genders, but they care for and protect each other. They go off and do boy things with their dad, but I get to do special things with them and we all do stuff together. A todger or lack thereof makes no difference.

Enjoy your beautiful children

qumquat · 27/03/2015 08:50

I can't believe how rude people can be! Every child is an individual. The only reason I can see for people thinking this way is that they assume boys and girls will fit into rigid stereotypes (boys being more straightforward is another unhelpful stereotype IMHO). I have a dd and only yesterday someone said to me 'aren't you glad you had a girl first so you know you have someone to help you around the house!' I was speechless.

Wiifitmama · 27/03/2015 08:51

I have three boys. No regrets at all. In fact, with my eldest now a massive tall teen, I am thrilled not to be going through the teenage Andre that seems to surround girls of the same age. Our household is calm and happy - not full of guns, bickering etc. that is such a stereotype! I wouldn't have my family any other way.

Springtimemama · 27/03/2015 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KittensOnAPlane · 27/03/2015 08:52

i have 2 boys, and no one has ever said to me anything like the above (am obv not saying there aren't people who do!)

but if they did, i'd be bloody pissed off, i love my boys and dont care that one of them is not a girl - how stupid

CinnabarRed · 27/03/2015 08:55

We have three boys, and oddly no-one has ever made negative comments about it. I guess I excude fuck-off-with-negativity-about-boys vibes!

CatinSocks · 27/03/2015 08:56

I have 2 boy. My youngest is almost 9 and I still regularly get urged to try for a girl and the inevitable 'I bet they are a handful' kind of comments.
Mostly I just smile and say they are the same as any other kids boys or girls their age but it does grate ocassionally.
I also get "but you need a daughter for when you are old"

Moln · 27/03/2015 08:57

Two boys here. I can't actually recall the last time I had anything. Though we say it in our family bug not in a negative (all babies in my boys generation are boys. That's 10 boys. And my sil is now expecting twins, we do say 'wonder if they will be girls?' But we don't really care!! It's almost a thing now the generation of boys!!

I recall someone saying when DS2 was three that I must be terribly sad I hadn't a girl and when I was trying for a girl I answered "gawd no. Delighted to have boys. Didn't want a girl". They thought I was rude and I pointed out that if asking if I was disappointed with my children wasn't rude how my answer was

juneau · 27/03/2015 08:59

I have two boys and have only had a couple of stupid comments about trying for a girl - I simply laughed them off and said that I was very happy with my two boys and wouldn't be trying for any more DC of either gender! Its nobody else's business what your family looks like OP and fuck all this negativity about boys. Boys are fab!

Moln · 27/03/2015 08:59

If I could have more children I'd have liked boys (though a girl wouldn't have upset me id have been happy just to have one more!!)

ratsintheattic · 27/03/2015 09:01

I would have liked a girl. I think it's because I am very close to my mum, and although I loved my MIL, it always felt more natural for my mum to be part of my life. I have two boys and couldn't be happier but do have a small part of me that worries I'll be being moaned about as the MIL in the future and will need permission from my kids' partners to be part of their lives - in a way I wouldn't if I had a daughter. I hope I'm wrong.

gruffaloshmuffalo · 27/03/2015 09:06

I have two boys. We wont be having another one as dh is getting the snip in a couple of months.

I like it! We've had a few comments, but I've just said I was never particularly bothered about having a girl, we're happy with two boys.

Almostapril · 27/03/2015 09:09

Qumquat that is priceless!!!

NinjaLeprechaun · 27/03/2015 09:11

If it helps, everybody I know with both boys and girls says that boys are generally easier to deal with than girls when they're teenagers.
So all boys might be a good thing, in the long run.

BabyGanoush · 27/03/2015 09:14

I have boys only.

Must say I have not had many (any?) negative comments.

It is great, actually, my boys are very cuddly and loving, even at 13 and 11, and they are great friends as into the same things.

Boys tend to have a straightforward relationship with their mother (generalising here), so you, as a mother, are in a good position

Yes, I have had to learn the rules of rugby, and yes, I might not have had to with girls, but knowing the sport has made me wonder why girls don't play it and wonder about gender and sexism in general. Why are sports so gendered?

anyhow, boys are great, just ENJOY it, we have lots of laughs.

SinclairSpectrum · 27/03/2015 09:51

I have 3 boys.
When people ask I I will try for a girl I say "why would I want one of those?!".

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