Advice needed from mums who have 3 kids!

[Barmymummy]

I am happily married to my lovely hubby and am blessed with two beautiful kids, DD (4) & DS (16 mths).
However! I would just LOVE a 3rd child. DH not overly sure about it and all my family & friends think I must be mad to want 3 kids when I have one of each already.
Guess what I am after is advice from mums who have gone from 2 to 3 kids on the pros & cons!
Am I indeed mad wanting another one?

I have three under three and a week and I have to agree that it is jolly hard work. I found 0-1 and 1-2 a doddle and always wanted three so wouldn't have it any other way except I might have had larger gaps - perhaps 2 yrs between each. I have friends who are considering having a third but have hit the 'comfort zone' with no 2 sleeping and being more independent and so it is a trickier decision. With me - it made sense with my work situation as it was at the time to have them close together though am not working at the moment and find being at home a lot tougher (though a lot more rewarding too - I am a lawyer!!!). I definitely feel sometimes as if I am being stretched too many ways and don't give any of them enough proper time. However, the flip side is that they have each other to play with and are starting to entertain each other. DS is 4 and 2 months, dd is 2 and 9 months and dd2 is 14 months.
I WOULD LOVE ANOTHER!!! But financially it probably won't be possible. DH is also not as keen and our relationship isn't really strong enough anyway (thats another story.....)

I had three in almost exactly three years.
I love it

I have 3 - dd1, ds, dd2 age 9, 6 and 3 - has been hard work - ds2 not a good sleeper! but def worth it - I wanted 3rd - dh had to be persuaded ! Felt me, him , 1 of each was just too pat , we found ourselves dividing off , you take care of ds and I'll do dd - has changed family dynamic in a positive way - we all mix up much more - BUT having a third does affect your life in a very practical way - we had to get a bigger car - holidays are difficult - all geared to family of 4 - recommend self-catering cottages ! Recently had to sNeak 3 yr old into Travelodge under blanket pretending to be under 2 ! Good Luck!

I had one of each then had ds2. We find it v hard.

We have no family support so just DH and I. Feel like we are spread quite thin trying to spend one on one with each of them and then have time for us as well. Money can also be an issue. We are okay financially but everything has to multiplied by 3, for example buying something frivolous for small amounts turn into bigger by when there is 3 iyswim.

All three want to hold my hand but I only have two!! All three want to sit next to me but again I only have two sides!! Lots of little things that matter to them.

Other hurdle for us was ds2 has food allergies including peanut. dd and ds1 perfectly fine and no history in family so it came from nowhere.

I have 3.

Aged 8, 5 and 3.

Having 1 was easy, as was having 2.

When next one came along she was ill and really made having 3 hard work.

I love it now as things are fine and no way would i want to be without them.

Find it a struggle to get them all settled in the car with new car seat laws.

I know you'll say to buy a bigger car!!!!!!

When you have family days out lots are aimed at 2 parents and 2 children!!!!!

Some are now beginning to do 2 parents and 3 children.

Makes a change.

Fitting in homework and one to one time can be hard.

I never have any help from anyone,
Never have any of my children stayed overnight anywhere.
Never get to go out without them.
Don't have any babysitting offers.

Saying all of that, i'm one of a family of eight children and we all lived to tell the tale!!!

Still do not know how my parents coped!!!!

Neither do they!!!

guyfoxie just saw yr post about the boy/girl/boy thing and you have hit the nail on the head. DD tho middle is special as only girl, ds1 is first born, ds2 is baby.

Actually DD is very brave, confident and independent whereas ds1 is quieter and mor eshy so it's nice that he has the brother. DD doesn't really need a sister IYSWIM.

Hope for the same for you!

fussymummy mine are exact same ages as your. Will admit it is getting a lot easier now but it has been a looooong 3 years.

My 3 are 7, 3 and 16 months. Transition from 1 to 2 was a breeze. No 3 was a lovely surprise and very much wanted by me. It is hard, the quality time with each one is few and far between but we feel like a familty iykwim, before i felt something was missing. At the end of the day I can sleep when they are 16 lol.

Clary - that's very reassuring (what you say about DD having her own place and being independent). Mine have similar personalities to your too! DS1 is very sensitive and shy and it really means a lot to him that he'll have a little brother. He has been moaning about girls since DD was born 3 years ago!!

DD is very independent and socially confident. She'll boss her little brother around no doubt! But she won't have to "compete" with another girl, which is good, as she's extremely competitive.

Barmymummy - we currently have DS and DD in a bunk bed. When baby is born he'll probably spend 6-12 months in with us, then maybe we'll move the cot in with DS1 and DD (not sure yet). I was thinking about this this morning actually. I think that when DS1 gets to 9/10, we'll give him his own room. So DD and DS2 can share the bunk bed until she reaches 9/10.

I loved sharing with my sister and think kids can have a lot of fun sharing a room for a few years.

We have 4 beds, but I am determined to retain the spare one as a study for a few years!

Our freinds who have a 6 bed house also kept their two sharing with a bunk bed for years, as they enjoyed sharing a room. I'd just do what's practical for you, and try to avoid worrying too much about whether they want to share - I'm sure they'll be fine in the same room.

I can't help on the room thing as mine all have their own rooms but I would say if anyone is moving to do it well before baby comes along. Maybe redecorate and give each child a choice of one wall. Buzz on one, Princess on the other depending on what they like.

I worry about my daughter as she is the only girl, the middle child and exceptionally bright. I asked her if she would like a sister and she said no. However my 5 year old boy is desperate for us to have lots more babies!!

Barmymummy - as you can see, for some its fun fun fun, for others its a bit of a struggle. I guess only you can decide.

I have three. DS1 (9) DD (6) DS2 (18 months) Intended on stopping at 2 but was blessed with a 3rd. I do like having three but I have to confess I do struggle. I dont feel I can give them all the attention they deserve. We have a 3 bed house and DS1 and DS2 have to share. (8 years between them. DS1 is not impressed - he will be even less impressed when he is a teenager ) We cant all fit into our car easily so need a new one and cant afford one. Holidays are so expensive and normally set up for families of 4

BUT saying all that .... I wouldnt swap it for the world.

We have a small 3 bed house too. My 2 girls share at the moment but sometimes DS goes into their room too as he likes to share. We have changed the room allocation a few times for various reasons. Like when no 3 needed was feeding 2 hrly in the night at a year and we decided she needed her own room so that I wasn't tempted to feed her every time she woke. So DS and DD1 shared a room. They thought it was fab. Infact it stopped DD1 having nightmares!
Then we put DS with DD2 as we didn't quite trust DD1 with the little one on her own. Now the girls share but DS is lonely on his own.
All in all a real mixture but they are all used to sharing and seem to prefer it that way, at least for the moment. When they are older they might object but hey there are worse things in life than having to share a room with a sibling.

Sorry I went on a bit then.

I would love to have a 3rd, but DH is having none of it.
My Dad reckons that once you have 3 you might as well keep going, as 3 is the most work, then after that the older ones start to take care of the younger ones etc.
I am one of 7, so I guess he would know!

cant sing the praises for three highly enough - mine are 4, 3 and 2. sometimes a doddle and sometimes a nightmare (squabbling) but two children are likely to squabble anyway. the oldest two share a room and am just about to put the youngest in with them - so the are all together and hopefully that will last a few years. there is plently of room to give them a room each but I hope it will help them continue to bond whilst they are sharing.

I agree with you magicfarawaytree. We have 4 bedrooms but ds1 and ds2 share a room. I think it teaches them sharing and helps them bond more.

My sil and her dh put all three boys into the biggest bedroom and have the 2nd bedroom for themselves with a room to spare. They are 12, 9 and 7. Their idea is that it forces them to bond and get along. Must be working as they are lovely boys who get along really well.

This is fantastic reading all the postings. As someone who is currently 4 mths pg with 1st one, but always wanted 3, there are some very good comments! I just read a couple out to DH and said to him that the conclusion is really we need to have 4... he just laughed!