What's the most irritating piece of unsolicited parenting advice you've ever endured?

[HumphreyComfreyCushion]

One of mine was:
being told by a woman serving in a mobile fish and chip van that I was damaging my children's career prospects by home educating them.

My MIL tells me about every 2 weeks that she dropped my brother-in-law on his head when he was a baby and I need to hold on to my babies TIGHTLY!!! Oh, ok then.

My childless SIL: "Force his mouth open (DS's) and shove the food in, if he doesn't eat it a good smacking will sort him out"

Advice she considered pertinent for a 5m old baby.

Hideous woman, I still won't trust her to leave her alone with DS even after all these years...

have I killed the thread?

sometimes i am glad that i don't have a mil or other rellies nearby to give this sort of 'advice'. i did have to endure an uncle not so long ago. he called my 14 mo old dd 'naughty' for crying in the car. well, she had sat quietly ages in the pushchair while we were at the carboot sale and was now a. hungry and b. tired.

i am sure he wasn't impressed when she preferred to bf rather than eat solids first thing she got home.

same uncle sat boasting about his 20 wk old grand daughter who was having babyrice, squash and gawd knows what else. my dd wouldn't eat lumps till 13 mos. nevermind, a short while later he also said that his grand daughter was also crying a lot at night. hum, wonder why.

i only held my tongue because of the loving memory of my dear aunt who had only recently died.

TWO HOURS after the delivery of dd1 I was given this little gem by a young midwife on the ward:

"You'll need to take her off the breast if she's on there much more than ten minutes because by then she'll be taking taking the piss."

I'm snorting with laughter as I remember it!

that baby wants feeding

checkout woman at tesco, when dd was 8wks old, and I had fed her before going!

also, mw in hospital said 'you must NEVER let the baby drain your breast.
me (terrified) - ok, what does that feel like?

mw - I dont know.

PMSL Voodoo

LadyMac, that one is a gem, my DS latched on for about 2 hrs and just sucked and sucked while I slept and DH held in place and sawpped him over. After over 48hrs in labour it was what we all needed.

My MIL is bad for telling mums there baby needs fed, well actually she says "oh is he needing the boob" , she is lovely really.

And She asked a teenage shop assistant if she had been squeezing her spots as she had a little blood on her face. . I had a go at her for that one and she said its OK I know her well. I tried to explain that in front of her collegues she would have been mortified as I am everytime she comments on me squeezing mine, she did blush and looked suitably shocked and embarissed so I hope she has taken that one on board.

'keep bf and all of that weight will just fall off'

my mother.

From one of the mothers I met through SANDS after our fullterm babies had been stilborn.
Midwife asked her if she had bought anything for the baby. When my friend said she had the mw said
'Oh Dear well you know that's bad luck you know' her dd had just been taken to the mortuary.

Oh dear I fear I am guilty of dishing out loads of unwelcome advice

Esp the one about sleeping when the baby sleeps.
But I did follow what I preached and had a mornng nap every time my dd had hers for the first year. I am sure it kept me sane but obviously virtually impossible with a toddler in the house...

Also the one about bf helping you to lose weight. Well it worked for me!

Just remembered I gave my nephew of 8 months a chip the other day.
I think I need to withdraw from the arena of motherhood. Am obviously deeply irritating to the world

gawd ffs!

surprised you didnt respond with

noone said i couldnt slap you round the face with a wet kipper!!!!!

odoo,lmao at breast draining mw!!

Have also heard the phrase, "making rod for own back".

MW standing at head of ward looking at us all in various stages of recovering from c-sections:-
"Some of you will be back in a year's time".

Had I been able to move (still had catheter in bladder and canula in arm) and or talk in any coherant manner (still woosy from the GA) I would have had words!.

lol bluejelly, actually giving a chip to eat is far better than just letting them suck on one

i mean would you or anyone want to suck the grease off a chip? yuck, not one of mil's better ideas!!

The' just you wait till...' always annoys me. Was told DD would be a nightmare once she crawled and she's fine and now it's 'just you wait till she walks..' alternating with 'Isn't she walking yet?"
Old git in supermarket once when DD was around 4 months old and needed feeding but I had to queue to pay first "What that baby needs is a dummy" No, what she needs is some milk - shall I just whip my boob out in the queue?" I was furious!! It was a year ago now and it still makes me mad to think of it.

Evil night nurse. Emergency C-section at nine pm; me bf DS in the middle of the night. Her:
'His cries don't sound normal, you know. Your milk isn't coming in - you'll need a top-up bottle.'

I am still angry about it. Btw, I breastfed exclusively for 6 months, and then carried on bfing while giving solid food until DS was a year, all without top-ups, so yah-boo-sucks. I have nothing against mixed feeding, but I would so have hated for her to have ANY vindication

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My son was crying once(not uncommon for a three year old!) when we were walking to the shops,as I was holding an umbrella(drizzling a bit) and he wanted to hold it.A man came up to me and told me that I must carry my child because it was obvious he was tired! How would he know?
Also, my son was born in January and at somepoint in March I took him to my local supermarket (5 mins walk away) at midday. It was a cold day(no snow) and he was wearing a padded all-in-one coat with hat and hood on, in a baby carrier with my coat zipped up around him.A male cashier told me that I mustn't take my son out in such cold weather. Anyone would think I had him out in a blizzard wearing only a string vest!

mt sister recently when i said my ds wont stay in the garden 'you should beat him then to make him listen to you' emm...no!

when he was 2 and we all went swimmng 'let go of him in the water and see if he swims' NO!

an aunt when he was a few weeks old 'make sure he wears a hat it will make his head rounder'

the day I got him from hospital after having the baby and trying to breastfeed with cracked nipples, to get the right effect repeat over and over for about 3 hours while imagining trying to learn to latch on a screamng child to your breast 'he is not getting enough , give him formula' 'look he is suffering' - thanks mom

advice about breastfeeding in first few days at home i ended up nearly starving (was anxious first time mother) dont drink tea or coffee or eat chocolate or too much salad or bread or greasy food it wwill upset the baby' there were more things not to eat but cant remember them

at 11months old in hospital with gastro enteritis from picking up and tasting a bottle of formula milk left on floor of friends house ' nurse watches me bf and ds being sick instantly and attached to me to me as he was starving and in pain 'don't you think nature is trying to tell you something isnt it time he was weaned?
erm..NO!

a woman told me that i had made my son bow legged by letting him walk ????????????