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What's the most irritating piece of unsolicited parenting advice you've ever endured?

156 replies

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 28/10/2006 15:20

One of mine was:
being told by a woman serving in a mobile fish and chip van that I was damaging my children's career prospects by home educating them.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Skribble · 28/10/2006 22:27

Well obviously I would be a better mother and they wouldn't get ill, fall down the stairs or have meningitis scares at festive times. Arse! he is a crappy dad, his grown up kids wan't nothing to do with him and he treated his now gone wife like a skivy.

DontlookatmeImscary · 28/10/2006 22:34

After putting ds in his bouncy chair and he starts crying- "oh it's a battle of wills, who'll give in first" Ds was 4 weeks old.

I also used to keep the changing mat/nappies etc out on the floor for convenience. On hearing the HV was due any minute for her first visit - "You want to put that away, she'll think you can't cope"

Cashncarry · 28/10/2006 22:43

After three days of labour, DD being manually turned (i.e. hand up wotsit), forceps delivery and "lost" placenta (cord snapped as DD came out), as I'm finally being handed by beautiful DD 2 and half hours after birth - both my Mum and DH saying at exactly the same time in exactly the same tone of voice:

"Careful - watch her neck"

If I didn't feel so crap at the time, I think I could have cheerfully banged their heads together!

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NappiesGalore · 28/10/2006 22:50

LOL at the last two in particular !

had a similar urge to cause pain when mw's, mother and dp all laughed in response to me saying 'ok thats it, i cant take anymore, i want the epidural now'.

i mean, wtf?

but you win - mind her neck is more annoying !

PumpkinMilkshake · 28/10/2006 23:01

While PG with first baby, a friend of my SIL telling me that I would have to let IL's look after the baby for weekends at a time cos they'd love it.....and they will make great GP's!

Regardless of whether DH and I wanted a weekend without DC, or the fact they live over 2 hours away!

SIL and I later found out MIL used to hit DS's with stick and still has it beside her armchair - both are in their 30's now!!!!!

Have to say Never gonna happen

Skribble · 28/10/2006 23:06

From the other side, my MIL was cuddling a newish baby while surrounded mums at DD's dancing, one of the mums piped up "Could you hold his head better".

Please note this was not the babies mum!
MIL was a paediatric nurse, mother of 2 and GP of 2, this mum has one little tearaway.

ELF1981 · 28/10/2006 23:17

I had the lecture about letting dd suck her thumb. Bearing in mind we'd taken ages to teach her to get her thumb into her mouth after her screaming in frustration in weeks that she couldn't do it. I was told to give her a dummy instead as you can take it away.
DD is a year old. Hasnt sucked her thumb since she was about four months old. And I never had to suffer any sort of guilt by taking a comfort thing away from her, she did it all by herself!

ELF1981 · 28/10/2006 23:17

Oh and sticking soap up her bum when she hadn't done a poo in five days - eventually I went with the cooled boiled water advice and that got things moving (on a night when I was out and dd was looking after her and had to clean up, brilliant!)

Greensleeves · 28/10/2006 23:28

My obnoxious uncle the first time he met ds1 (who was 10 months at the time, tottering around in turqoise dungarees charming everyone with his gorgeous golden ringlets and cherubic smile)

"Give him a good clout every now and again".

ilovecaboose · 28/10/2006 23:31

not advice. but ds was being a bit uncooperative once (he was about 18 months at the time), nothing major and an old guy raised his hand to him as if to slap him. I was . The day before an old lady told me to slap him cos his welly had fallen off

He was little more than a baby ffs.

Cashncarry · 28/10/2006 23:32

Greensleeves

I hope you've stayed well clear of that particular relative since...!

Greensleeves · 28/10/2006 23:33

Damn right, he's a complete arsehole

b21041972edmonton · 28/10/2006 23:44

Hey has anybody ever had this? I have four children and people are constantly asking having any more are we?

Skribble · 29/10/2006 00:03

I have a girl and a boy and have had "OOh a gentlemans family"

WTF my husband is a gentleman because he fathered a girl and a boy .

Greensleeves · 29/10/2006 00:04

Honestly, the shit people talk

NappiesGalore · 29/10/2006 00:10

for the benefit of those who get lectured about their dc's sucking theor thumbs: i sucked mine almost constantly right up till i went to secondary school, whereupun i decided it was probably not a popularity contest winner, so stopped. was pressured by everyone up till then, but went on regardless. why the f should i have stopped?? it was comfort fgs!

AND, i have really rather PERFECT teeth, so NER!

tell 'em to sod off when they have a go - its a lovely thing to do. (i wish my own dc's would do it, it looks soooo cute and i remember how comforting it was, but theyre not interested.)

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 29/10/2006 09:53

.

OP posts:
saintAugustine · 29/10/2006 09:55

i am going to be the quietest grandmother ever. i will be too frightened to ever offer an opinion.

munz · 29/10/2006 10:24

ah so many! i'm a mean mummy for not giving my 7.5 month old burger and chips for lunch (mil)

BF babies don't have wind - oh really (stupid nursery nurse in the mat unit)

being a SAHM is easy - all u do is sit down play games, and drink cups of tea - what's all the fuss about?? (WTF!?) and from the same person. 'so about your DS's sleeping problem u tell me what he's eating and i'll sort it out - u need to read 100's of parenting books and be strict - don't give him milk/feed him/go into him on a night let him cry' and her LO is younger than mine

HappyMumof2 · 29/10/2006 10:36

Message withdrawn

BATtymumma · 29/10/2006 10:38

when discussing my HFA DS a rather rude woman in the high street says

" there's nothing wrong with that kid that a good smack every now and then wouldn't sort out"

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 29/10/2006 10:39

To which the correct response is "and i expect there's nothing wrong with you that a really hard smack wouldn't sort out either".

Jesus. I can't believe people still permit themselves to say that.

MummyPig · 29/10/2006 10:48

I've had so many comments that I forget most of them. But I won't ever forget my 'friend' saying to my face 'if I got pregnant and wasn't married I would get married asap as I wouldn't want to bring up a bastard' when I was 10 weeks pregnant with ds1. The same so-called friend blew smoke in my face when I was about 5 months pg and said 'perhaps if I smoke near you he won't be so big'.. I knew she had 'weight issues' in the past but no need to pass them on to me. Needless to say I don't have anything to do with her any more.

Have had loads and loads of uninformed advice about when and what to feed them, including from a nurse in hospital a few days after ds2 had come out of intensive care following heart surgery. He was about 7 months old and she thought he should be eating chocolate pudding instead of breastfeeding. This despite having been told about the cow's milk sensitivities in the family.

Oh and a popular one is telling me my children must be too cold because they don't have a hat on - despite being wrapped closely to my body in a sling at the time.

Dp's mum was always asking me 'shouldn't they be doing xxx by now?' Insert 'smiling', 'eating solid food', 'crawling', 'walking', 'using a knife and fork', 'reading' or whatever. Usually way before anyone would expect a child to be doing them. But I usually forgave her on the basis that it's very hard to remember when your children passed each milestone unless you write them down. I don't even remember when either of my boys said their first words.

I did get upset when she said ds1 was the messiest baby she'd ever seen. She was serious. Okay, so your children sat in the highchair like little angels and never threw any bits of food on the floor or smeared it on their face, did they?

ShowOfBloodyAndSeveredHands · 29/10/2006 11:03

I'm currently pg with my first and my 83yr old grandmother is full of pearls of wisdom.

Apparently I'll want to smack the child a few times from an early age to let it know what happens if it's ever naughty.

Don't mollycoddle (no hugs, don't sympathise if hurt) or your son could grow up homosexual.

I am so and that this woman and my late grandfather are the sole reason why my father suffers very badly from depression. This same woman used to lock her sn daughter, my aunt, in a cupboard because she couldn't understand "basic instructions" (my aunt is also profoundly deaf, so no probably couldn't understand her).

Oh and my db was told when my dn was being a bit wilful 'a belt's as good as a stick'.

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 29/10/2006 11:10

ShowOfBloodyAndSeveredHands .

It's frightening how long lasting the effects can be of people who don't treat children kindly.

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