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Parenting

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Original poster

Bored of maternity leave!!

65 replies

Cooper11111 · 12/03/2015 14:09

Am I alone??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Nolim · 12/03/2015 14:13

Oh no. I was sooooo bored diring maternity leave. Can you go to platgroups/soft play to get some interaction?

rockybalboa · 12/03/2015 14:14

How far in are you? How old is the baby? It can get a bit samey sometimes but babies are nicely portable apart from my DS3 so good opportunity to get out and about. Raincover and a decent waterproof coat will help!!

goshhhhhh · 12/03/2015 14:15

I started doing my family tree as I was that bored

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Hobby2014 · 12/03/2015 14:18

Oh me too!
DS is 7 months.
It really gets tedious.

Nolim · 12/03/2015 14:19

I started my family tree as well!

squizita · 12/03/2015 16:07

I'm both bored and too busy/unable to get things done.

Weird infuriating combo!

Arkkorox · 12/03/2015 16:13

Yes!! Me too. Bored bored bored

PartyintheKitchen · 12/03/2015 16:13

Yes I'm with you OP and yes to the combo of boredom and being busy, great way to describe it squzita!

I'll add sleep deprived and absolutely hating breastfeeding (DS is a total guzzler and is up 4 times a night looking for food). Also can I add slight resentment at DH for going to work every day. I slightly hate him for his daily freedom. Maybe it's the fact that this is my second maternity leave and the addition of a toddler changes everything.

qazxc · 12/03/2015 16:17

Yes, it's a mix of being lovely being able to get as many baby cuddles as you want, groundhog day boredom and yet being so caught up in things that you struggle to fit in a shower/get dressed/basic housework (DD would only sleep on me during the day until she was about 6 months).
Try and get out is my advice, it does make things less boring.

didireallysaythat · 12/03/2015 16:20

No answers here I'm afraid. I went back at three months both times so that I didn't have to deal with mothers and babies groups (maybe they can be fun but the thought makes my blood run cold!). Maybe the thing is to think of things you'd like to do rather than conforming to the coffee morning brigade ?

RachieS1986 · 12/03/2015 16:24

im not so much board as frustrated. when ds1 was born he settled himself in a great routine very early. ds2 on the other hand is refusing. I know he's only 5 weeks but im knackered and frustrated that hes so hard to read. the 3 of us have spent the afternoon sleeping on the couch. bang goes the ironing and any other housework. I miss housework

mrshope · 12/03/2015 16:24

Soooooo bored. I feel so ungrateful but it is mind numbing and all consuming. Will definitely be trying to get out more. So glad I'm not the only one who finds it dull. I feel like I'm the only one in my nct class who is slowly going out of my mind!!!

Original poster

Cooper11111 · 13/03/2015 01:41

Wow, so glad I'm not alone! Was starting to feel like an epic failure, I do get out loads, in fact I'm rarely in the house. But I do all these regimented activities and create errands for myself just to appease the boredom- it ain't working. I'm 12 weeks in with a 6 week prem baby! I feel like is like to have gone back to work after a week and then took the time off when dd is 2

OP posts:

Kiwiinkits · 13/03/2015 02:22

My advice? Do a baby book for your baby. With photos, stories about them when they were born, etc.

My daughters are older now but they ask to see their baby books EVERY DAY! They love them!

(Went back to work at 4 months for both of them. Too bored.)

Eminybob · 13/03/2015 02:49

DS is 8 mo and yesterday we were quarantined in the house as he's got a stomach bug. God I was bored bored bored. Don't get me wrong, he's lovely and was nice and cuddly, what with being ill but I can't do it another day.

Luckily I have made some good friend from my postnatal group and I have some sort of activity planned every weekday. Although it's great that we can compare baby notes, we do have genuinely normal adult conversation too.

If it weren't for this I would have probably torn my hair out and opted to back to work early (and I bloody hate my job with a passion!)

mrsmugoo · 13/03/2015 07:27

Yep seriously boring. I went back to work at 7.5 months cos I'd had enough.

MabelMay · 13/03/2015 12:29

If you're bored, find something to do that will stop the boredom! Your maternity leave is what you make it.

If you don't like hanging out at the house whilst your lo naps (or doesn't, or drives you up the wall etc) then go enjoy all those things you can't enjoy when you're working. Go see an exhibition, enjoy the outdoors with long walks, visit a friend you haven't seen for ages. Have you got a garden? It's a brilliant time of year for getting some plug plants, planting summer flowerers (even if you just have a windowsill rather than a garden). This time is finite. Before you know it you'll be back at work and you'll never get this time with your baby back. Take advantage of the fact that they're portable and YOU are the one who can decide what you get to do every day (unlike at work). Try and enjoy it. You'll look back when your and old woman and wish you'd made more of it.

MabelMay · 13/03/2015 12:30

sorry: when you're an old woman (sausage fingers on mob)

trilbydoll · 13/03/2015 12:39

The problem is going back to work isn't necessarily better. You have to juggle illnesses, you have even less time to do stuff and you're even more knackered! It's not boring but it is equally frustrating in a different way I think.

Babies do get more interesting as they get older as well, the first few months are just about keeping them fed / clean which is really dull.

squizita · 13/03/2015 13:14

Mabel It's not quite that simple for many of us.

If either mum has a bit of PNA/PND, or an injury after birth, or baby has some health issue popping out on these wonderful trips can become absolute mountains to climb. If your whole day is a blur of caregiving as real/imaged needs demand. Eg. I spent several months terrified of slings and car seats re SIDS. Then terrified as dd gained weight slowly and needed to feed a lot (meaning I needed to be near a warm place to bf as my circulation is poor). Then I got obsessed with needing to formally "play". I'm getting much better now, but still don't have the time/energy for housework and going out ... I'm drained. I spend 24 hr a day worrying about mundane aspects of dd's well being ... I crave excitement and headspace but 5 1/2 months in I'm only just edging out of the bedroom for 5 min at a time in the 3 hours between her bedtime and mine (some hv and mw can be very firm/scary about this ... then read the note about my phobia after they laid it on thick. ). That is what I mean about bored out of my skull but having no time. I feel neglectful if I pop her on a mat and do housework. Neglectful! ^Society sets it up that way - well 30 something middle class nct society.* No fucking chance I would allow myself a trip to "mummy" shops or a gallery.

And if your in that scenario, "maternity leave is what you make it" is the last thing you want to hear. Makes you feel even more utterly shit.

squizita · 13/03/2015 13:18

...and the smug "it gets worse" stuff has actually made me want to self harm.
No. Right now it's better. Not easier but better.

There's a huge difference between harder work and worse imo.

Nolim · 13/03/2015 13:20

Squizita

Millionprammiles · 13/03/2015 13:25

Mabel: yeah, you can do all those things but none are quite so enjoyable to the soundtrack of a screaming baby and when you feel nauseous from sleep deprivation.

Mat leave was a bone grinding combination of tedium and exhaustion. Am loving the toddler/pre-school years by comparison, so much more interaction and fun. Wish I could have taken 12 months off from aged 2-3 instead.

squizita · 13/03/2015 13:28

Nolim Thankfully I seem to be coming out the other side. Thanks to dd being a sturdy little wiry thing, who loves a trip out and naps best in a pram or car and a bit of hypnotherapy and yoga.

mrsmugoo · 13/03/2015 13:32

I agree with Squizita - There was no chance of me flouncing around enjoying galleries when mine was tiny.

He breastfed almost constantly and needed a serious amount of intervention to ever sleep in the day. The only thing that got him to sleep without a drama was walking in the pushchair so we did a LOT of that. But just aimlessly walking around my city in the sweltering summer heat trying to eek out one. more. minute. of. baby. sleep… was hardly the way I wanted to be spending my time and I started to feel very isolated from the real world. The real world where "normal" people didn't revolve their days around needing to put a defiant newborn to sleep every 2 hours. Plus when you've had 4 broken hours sleep you're hardly bounding with energy to go out and plant things in the garden. All I wanted to do was eat chocolate digestives on the sofa and watch This Morning.

Since I've been back to work my happiness level has increased so much. Yes there's now nursery runs and whatnot to deal with but at least 3 days a week I get to mix with other adults and have conversations about grown up stuff and I know my LO is well taken care of.

Mat leave was depressing and I'm dreading it second time around.

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