Bored of maternity leave!!

[Cooper11111]

Am I alone??

You're not alone. I was and am so much happier now I'm back at work and there is more of a balance. Try and take each day as it comes rather than thinking 'this is my life' - things will keep changing, and you'll have better days.

Don't feel you should be making baby books or visiting exhibitions or planting bulbs or god knows what else. Lovely for those who can manage it but totally unnecessary pressure for the very many whose babies/complications/sleep dep makes this stuff a mountain to climb.

I remember crying when my friend told me she upcycled furniture in her baby's naps. I watched Hollyoaks repeats, at best

Saltedcaramel2014 - I'm one step up from you. I watch repeats of the Great British Bake Off

Yes I agree with everyone, looking after a newborn is both busy and boring. When DD is feeling sociable she wants me to play with her (which can be fun), but when she's unsociable she just wants me to carry her from room to room so she can look at stuff. She won't let me read or use the computer. If I play on my phone while carrying her she somehow knows and starts crying for attention!

Not to mention the endless repeating routine of feed - nappy change - poo explosion - clothes change - wash face - oil face (eczema) - walk around a bit - another poo - nappy change - wee during nappy change - full clothes change - cry for no reason - walk around a bit - put her in the sling to get some laundry and washing up done - feed...

But another part of me knows that I'll miss her to death when I go back to work

Oh god, I totally agree.

I found maternity leave with my first really hard. You're both bored and unable to get anything done.

Plus DD1 rarely napped for more than 30 minutes, so I didn't have these wonderful long naps to get stuff done.

A friend was commenting that you go back to work just as they get fun. And it's very true. The good news is that, as long as you don't leave it too long for any more children you may want, you get to spend that mat leave playing with a toddler

Squizita -...and the smug "it gets worse" stuff has actually made me want to self harm.
No. Right now it's better. Not easier but better.

That is bollocks for a lot of us. Utter bollocks. Toddlers and small children are da bomb.

I was enjoying it until weaning started. Now it just seems like an endless grind of wiping Weetabix or couscous off the floor/her hair/my dressing gown. I love watching her enjoy her food but the 3 times a day cooking and cleaning thing is doing my nut in.

Oh god, yes - its totally dullage a lot of the time.

With DS I had 11 months off, ELEVEN MONTHS?! can you bloody imagine? I was out of my mind with boredom. What to do everyday, so I mainly hung out with my parents. Not good. In hindsight I was terribly depressed and completely zapped of any joy for my life, or indeed DS. The thing is, when everyday is the same, what's the point of looking forward to the weekend? Yes, fine, DH was home and that was lovely but, the park? Done that. Soft play? Done that. Nice long walk along the seafront? Errr, done that too. When I went back to work, my happiness came bouncing back, literally overnight. For me and DS, it was good for us to miss each other, we made the most of our time off and I had some time to be me.

With DD I am going back next month when She is 8 months. It's been far more enjoyable this time as I've met some lovely mums, laughed at the shit bits, and left her far more frequently to give myself a break and frankly, have some time to think without a 3 year old and a baby. I adore my children, but 24/7 with them is exhausting, utterly exhausting.

I take my hats off to the SAHM but the thought frankly horrifies me, and I know for absolute certain it's not for me.

So no, OP, it's not just you. Clearly!

And babies definitely get better with age?

"Mummy can I have some crisps?"

Or

Screaming and guess work?

I know which one I'd rather, unless of course I was at an exhibition.

Not at all. My twins are 2.5 now and I am a sahm. There is no time to be bored :)

Penguins phew.

By right now it's better I meant it's getting better for me as dd gets bigger. Tiny frail newborn and postnatal anxiety are worse than mobile "midi" baby hitting her milestones.

Yep, I'm fed up too! Have a 3.5mo and a just turned 3yo. 3mo will only sleep on me, so 3yo is a bit jealous and playing up a lot.

I am both bored and incapable of doing anything productive. Really frustrating! I had nearly a year off first time around, but am now seriously pining for the office.

I've had a year. I hated the middle bit - weaning was vile and crap and boring - but now DS is nearly a year he can crawl, point to what he wants and stuff egg sandwiches in his face and it's so much better and I will really miss it.

I felt awful in 5hose dark middle days that I wasn't cherishing every moment, particularly with DH chirruping that he would love to spend all day at home with DS liar.

This thread has made me feel better

No.
I don't understand how anyone can be bored. I'm sure it depends on your type of work/ baby/ personality but I loved every minute of my mat leave and have found being back at work a real struggle.
Playing all day, hanging out with new friends, no deadlines, cuddles galore... and yes, of course nappies and sleepless nights.
No comparison. I'd do years of mat leave over working for a living!

No deadlines?
You mess up at work, your boss moans.
You mess up this year, you could ruin a life.

I don't get how people find it so easy and relaxing.

Squizita - I often say that I am glad you only have to do your first baby once. And people think that I mean things like being scared, and learning to feed, and being worried you'll drop them. And it's about 5% that. The other 95% is that I'm not sure that I could do all day every day with just one tiny baby ever again. I adore all my kids, but I'm just not a baby person.

For those who are bored, I recommend seeking out SAHMs with older children at playgroups. They've done all the obsessing about sleep and nappies and whatnot and want to talk about normal stuff again.

Oh, cross post. Believe me, there is very little you can do that will mess them up. Feed 'em. Keep 'em warm and clean. Love 'em. Anything else is a bit of a bonus.

Oh, and try not to dangle them off a balcony Jacko style. That one's quite important too.

I went back to work 4 days a week at 12 weeks - financially that was all that was possible for me to take as maternity leave. I would've liked to have been off for 6 months really but needs must.

I did miss DS, but I was relieved to get a moment to myself and to talk to other adults about stuff that didn't include how well (or not, in my case) that the baby slept, poo and breastfeeding. I enjoyed my time with DS all the more for going back to work. I know that is a terribly unpopular view on MN, but I think if I had taken any further than 6 months off my mental health would have suffered.

Takes out note book. Carefully writes DO NOT dangle baby off balcony in hb pencil with tongue stuck out.

I went back to work at 6 months and then 5 months, but last October my employer paid me off as I have a chronic illness. I have become a sahm of 2 toddlers and I dreaded the last day of work. I have just started volunteering and I try to get out everyday when I feel up to it. Winter was awful, awful, awful, now I have accepted this new life of mine. Life is a bit dull but my health has improved. I don't know what I will do when they start school....

im so glad I found this thread its made me feel so much better sorry. im glad im not the only one with a dc who will now only sleep on me, im getting nothing done and am ready for the hills. I had big plans for what I was going to do second time round days out days at the park out in the yard cooking and crafts with ds1 but so far none of this.

I was bored- when we got to weaning it was an endless cycle of feeding and trying to get dd to nap and it felt relentless and very Groundhog Day.
It didn't help that one of my friends wrote a textbook on mat leave. A textbook. A real, proper, door propping textbook. Dd only ever slept for 30 mins at a go, I haven't even managed to fill in her baby book.
Totally depends on the kind of person you are. I'm not very good at baby groups and refused to pay NCT so in retrospect boredom was probably a little bit of loneliness.

squizita. You're not alone. I for one never understood where all these mythical "new friends" came from, and I went to every single bloody baby group under the sun. Maybe people just didn't like the sight of my catheter under my unfashionable jogging trousers.

Maternity leave is crap for a lot of people. We don't all get the chance to make it into a time of fun new experiences and friends. But it DOES get better and easier. And you are doing great.

Oh rallying, your unfashionable trousers would have attracted me to you like a moth to a flame. It's the mums who have brushed their hair well presented mums that make me feel inadequate

I wish there had been a thread like this when I was on mat leave. I wouldn't have felt so guilty. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, stat mat pay not covering the bills, counting the days down to when the nursery would accept DS1.

The thing is, whether you love or hate your mat leave has no impact on whether you are a good or bad mum. Nothing to do with it at all.

I had a jolly time on first mat leave because I met a dozen women with babies with a few mins walk. BUT it wasn't intellectually stimulating, and I didn't feel like me during that time. Thankfully work colleagues came over so I could work on the sly while my mum watched the baby. Second time round I was happy to drop the baby off with my mum for a couple hours by week 5 and didn't bother with the baby network stuff. If you dislike work then mat leave is a nice little career break. Some people live their work and it's a pretty big part of their identity.