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Parenting

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Original poster

anyone else going back to work early to get away from their kids?

35 replies

Rosebudz29 · 21/02/2015 22:21

I love my both DCs dearly (27m and 8m), but omg they are driving me crazy at the moment! especially the toddler, I'm so sick of constantly trying to find fun things to entertain her with that we can do with baby in tow only for her to have a tantrum . Likewise cooking decent meals only for her to turn her nose up at it. I just want to spend time with my baby boy and I do get 2 afternoons a week with him and feel guilty for feeling this way. Thinking of going back to work early to get some balance back in my life, don't think I'm cut out for being a full time mum! anyone else feel this way?

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ROARmeow · 21/02/2015 22:33

Yes!

I returned to work one day a week when my eldest started school (aged 4.5 years) and my youngest was 2 years old.

It wasn't really for the money, but just for the space to pee in peace, eat in peace and actually talk to other adults about something other than finger-painting and toddler groups.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/02/2015 06:33

I went back to work three months earlier than planned. I wasn't doing it to "get away" from DS but I was just bored of being a SAHP.

After reading your post I can completely understand why you'd want to escape

squizita · 22/02/2015 11:34

I know I'm not sahp material. My mum wohp and so did my gran so I know it can work well. I get terribly lonely and anxious with only dd ... dwell on every tiny thing.
I am returning to work when she's 1 year. My earnings are important (I am the main breadwinner) but I think it will also help me be a balanced, calm non neurotic mum! Weird, I cope with horribly busy multi tasking more happily than one single thing. It's just me!

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graceM · 22/02/2015 16:33

"To get away from your kids" charming! Your children are still babies, if you think this stage is hard just wait until they're older.

juniorcakeoff · 22/02/2015 16:38

GraceM Mine are older and I found baby stage the hardest tbh.
Love the way on MN going back to work early brings stories of going back when their babies/ children are comparatively old! OP Don't feel guilty, your day sounds pretty stressful and dull and if you can have less stressful and dull times at work then grab it with both hands.I've often wished you could save maternity leave and take it a bit later say when the kids are 4 and they are funny and less annoying.

ch1134 · 22/02/2015 16:43

The opposite. Planning no.2 to get away from work! (obviously not as simple as that)

ragged · 22/02/2015 16:46

yup, sign me in for those only too happy to go to work. Life's about balance, and I didn't get enough balance being FT at home.

dairyfreequeen · 22/02/2015 17:15

'to get balance' isnt exactly 'to get away from your kids' though is it? Its just what will make you a happier and better rounded person, and thats good for your family. Nothing to feel guilty about

graceM · 22/02/2015 17:22

Sorry, I just find it hard to relate to that's all. I have three children, the youngest is 4 and is autistic. I actually left my job and decided to be a Sahm, my days are repetitive, they kind of have to be as my ds can't doesn't deal with change well. I have days don't get me wrong where I'm about to lose it but I couldn't imagine choosing to go back to work just so I could have an easier life or "get away from my kids".

Nolim · 22/02/2015 17:27

I couldnt wait to get back to work!
Being a sahp is not for me.
Good luck.

ragged · 22/02/2015 17:37

I went back to work so that I could see less of my children. I feel zero guilt about that, too.

graceM · 22/02/2015 18:20

You feel zero guilt, seriously, I dread to think what kind of parent you are!

Nolim · 22/02/2015 18:22

gracem: A parent who has good childcare and a job that makes you happier as a person.

graceM · 22/02/2015 18:25

I'm all for working and having a career/life of your own, I worked full time for many years with my first two children. But not because I felt I had to get away from them or that they were an inconvenience, but because I had of financially in order to pay the bills.

iwouldgoouttonight · 22/02/2015 18:26

I went back to work when DS was six months. I hated being at home on my own with a baby. Felt very depressed and stressed. I wish I could spend more time with him now he's older though.

graceM · 22/02/2015 18:28

Why have a child in the first place then? How can you hate being at home with your own child....?

motherinferior · 22/02/2015 18:28

I went back at four months. Saved my sanity, literally.

Oh and Grace, my kids are now 14 and 11 and nothing has come close to the horror of my first maternity leave.

motherinferior · 22/02/2015 18:30

I wanted a child, not a career change. I'm good at my job and I like it. I'm not very good at looking after small children and don't madly enjoy it.

graceM · 22/02/2015 18:32

I'm not talking about post natal depression here, I myself have suffered with that so I know what it's like. I'm just finding it hard to understand, pnd aside why anyone would want to go back to work so soon after having their child?

Twitterqueen · 22/02/2015 18:34

Oooh some harsh words here.
I'll brace myself for some more.
I had 3 beautiful, lovely DCs within 5 years. I went back to work very soon after they were born for the following reasons:
ExH was (and is) a twat, and I had no confidence in his ability to provide. Indeed, he made it clear that I was supposed to have the children and also to match is his work ethic and also to maintain the house...
I have never been a SAHM. mainly because my mother was not motherly in any way. The expectation was that I would leave home asap and earn money.
I digress...
OF COURSE there are million other mothers who say the same things.
Do not feel guilty
My children have not suffered from my wish to work
My children have hugely benefited from fantastic nursery people who actually enjoyed doing potato prints etc etc. Of course my children would have known immediately that I hated it - so for me, the fact that other people loved doing what I couldn't was very reassuring.

Give yourself a break OP! You are SO not the only one...

motherinferior · 22/02/2015 18:35

Because some of us find babies harder work, and more boring, than our paid jobs. Just the way it is. I liked my work more than I liked doing full-time childcare.

graceM · 22/02/2015 18:36

Well I'll say again, maybe you should of thought of this before you chose to have a child in the first place! Nobody is saying that if you have a child that you should automatically have to give up your career but why have one at all if you consider yourself "not good with small children" or you plan on palming them off to nursery before they're even onto solids?

motherinferior · 22/02/2015 18:38

My mum was off with us for years. Stupid bloody decision on her part. She was clearly bored and miserable - however much she said it was her choice - and it seriously devalued her in the job market so that when she did go back to work she was miserable then too. Took her decades to get back where she would have been all along if she hadn't been so damn silly in the first place.

sliceofsoup · 22/02/2015 18:41

Because, shock horror, parents can still love their children while not wanting to spend every waking moment with them.

I know, crazy right?!

motherinferior · 22/02/2015 18:43

I didn't 'palm my children off'. They had a fabulous childminder who was terrific with them. And they were adorable and loved and also maddening and really quite boring. These days they are less cuddly and squishy but more interesting and fun. We all seem to have survived without major trauma. It's a long game, parenting, OP. Don't beat yourself up.

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