anyone else going back to work early to get away from their kids?

[Rosebudz29]

I love my both DCs dearly (27m and 8m), but omg they are driving me crazy at the moment! especially the toddler, I'm so sick of constantly trying to find fun things to entertain her with that we can do with baby in tow only for her to have a tantrum . Likewise cooking decent meals only for her to turn her nose up at it. I just want to spend time with my baby boy and I do get 2 afternoons a week with him and feel guilty for feeling this way. Thinking of going back to work early to get some balance back in my life, don't think I'm cut out for being a full time mum! anyone else feel this way?

I am a SAHM. I love my children. I can't justify working right now financially. But I cannot wait to be working again.

Grace please allow me to digress a bit: does your opinion of wohms who look forward to return to work extend to wohds? What If a father shows no interest in sah after their baby is born?

Oh and I didn't say 'not good with small children' I said 'not good at looking after small children'. Actually I'm so soppy about toddlers -and babies that my kids tell me off. A full day of thinking of stuff to do drives me mad, though.

Before getting pregnant I used to daydream about what a lovely life I could have as a SAHP and how I would be Mother Earth and raise a beautiful baby, keep the house clean
and have dinner on the table every night

When it came to it I couldn't be bothered to keep the house clean and dinner certainly wasn't ready and waiting for when DH came home. I adore my son, I love him to pieces but being at home all the time just bored me. I was bored of every day being the same and I was getting very frustrated. When I made the decision to go back to work when DS was 9 months (three months earlier than initially agreed upon) I did have a few "Am I doing the right thing?" wobbles but mentally I was so ready to go back.

My first week back was incredibly hard and I was in tears every morning and every night because of how little I was seeing DS but it got easier.

I still miss him when I'm work but that doesn't mean going back to work was the wrong decision.

Women can love their children and love their job at the same time.

I went back to work when ds was six months and dd was three months. I feel no guilt about that. dh went back to work two weeks after they were both born after all! Now they are teenagers those early months seem long ago and not hugely relevant. I didn't have children in order to have babies, but to have a family, and on that front we seem to be just fine. Both my children are fantastic and we get on very well. dh had a few years SAHD with them in primary school which they all enjoyed but when I asked her dd says she doesn't remember being a baby and so doesn't really care who looked after her then.

I have a second interview this week for a job that would see me going back to work when DS is 5/6 months. However it's a part time job with a boss who really emphasized how flexible she was re working from home etc if need be, and it's very near an excellent nursery. So on balance I'd rather grab that & have to go back early, than have the full year off but go back to my full-time stressful job with misogynstic bosses and no flexibility. I love DS to bits but I'm definitely going back to work either way - I spent 5 years at university studying to do my job, I'm good at it and I see no reason why having a child precludes me from doing it. Plus I bloody hate baby groups & I figure nursery can cover off that stuff & me and DS can spend my days off doing fun stuff together. Plus I look forward to wearing nice dresses and heels again once I fit into my old clothes

Oh and I don't "have" to go back to work - we could manage on DH's salary but I don't feel guilty about it, nor do I think it makes me a bad mother, or that I shouldn't have had children. DS has hit the bloody jackpot as far as parents are concerned - he has two loving, engaged, highly educated, comfortably off parents, he lives in a lovely house where he wants for nothing, he is read to, cuddled, talked to, played with on a the back lawn, wrapped in beautiful blankets in his carefully temperature moderated room, taken away to the beach for lovely holidays, taken on educational outings, adored by extended family... why in God's name would I feel remotely guilty about putting him in a lovely bloody expensive nursery for 18 hours a week while I go and use my brain for the career I've worked at for nigh on 15 years.

Honestly.

I love my job to bits and am now part time. Oh how I was ready to go back after a year maternity....I could no way be a sahm permanently....

All the married sahm you know - well most of their dhs did.

Do dads have these discussions? I doubt it very much, at least not often.

If your starting question is 'what's going to make me the best parent I can be?' the answer might not be being at home all day every day for everybody, it might be coming home with a clearer head, excited to see your kids again. Fwiw i'm delighted to be on maternity leave, but I know i need work for myself as well (no idea how I'm going to cope when I have to leave DS behind, but that's another thread..)