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Original poster

Playgroup drop out

41 replies

Gennz · 12/02/2015 19:24

I took DS (11 weeks) to his first ever baby group thigy and have already emailed the oragnisers to say I wouldn't be coming back (it was an orgnaised group thing that you were meant to commit to for 30 weeks).

It was 2.5 hours so a massive chunk of the day, and I have a really low tolerance for group singalong type activities anyway (I blame going to a religious schoolf or 13 years ... my appetite for sitting in a circle singing songs has been well and truly exhausted.)

I never went to ante-natal classes (mainly because I couldn't be bothered and again the group activity antipathy) so this was the first baby group thing I'd dne and it was as bad as I had feared it would be.

We had to sit in a circle and there was a Thought For The Day ("I hope I am always my child's favourite toy") which I totally don't agree with but which elicited worthy responses from the group, we had to make name cards on coloured cards & decorate them with the stuff provided (ber in midn this is a baby group so the decorating wasn't an activity our kids could join in on - it basically meant 15 30-something women all got busy cutting and pasting while the babies lay on the mats. Then we were told about the Importance Of Reading to Your Child, which I'm pretty sure all the highly competitive 30 somethig women from this affluent area were aware of, nd the faciitator read us Hairy McClairy. Again, the babies couldn't see the book (as it was tny & she was sitting in the middle of the large circle)... so it was basically a group of grown women being read a story.

I know that there are some things I will have to suck up & get involved in now I have kids but am I unreasonable to have found the whole thing massively annoying & to have dropped out? And will DS be irrevocably damaged if I boycott all such future activities in favour of the playground/catching him with friends' kids & just occasionally take him to Wriggle & RHyme at the library?

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DeanKoontz · 12/02/2015 19:27

Signing up to 30 weeks of anything baby related sounds absolute madness.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 12/02/2015 19:28

While your baby is this little I'd say do what you like! Groups at this stage are meant to be more for the parent's benefit, an opportunity to socialise. The babies couldn't give a toss where they are, as long as they're with you.

Find a different group (and what's with having to commit to 30 weeks up front? Bonkers)

jeee · 12/02/2015 19:29

DS won't care one way or t'other. The only purpose of baby groups is to help the mother's sanity. If you hate it, don't bother. FWIW, you may find something like mother and baby swimming is more to your taste (there's a purpose to the activity).

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NickyEds · 12/02/2015 19:32

Ha ha - that sounds shit op! Cutting up name badges?? With 11 week olds??? I've never heard of having to commit to 30 weeks either, that's ridiculous. At the baby group I went to at the Sure Start centre we just sat about chatting and occasionally waved something at our babies.

Your baby will be in no way damaged by avoiding this type of thing. I went to baby massage, yoga and sign and loved it. I didn't know anyone with kids in the area and have made some lovely friends. Don't write all baby/toddler groups off completely though, this one sounds properly mad!

Katie2489 · 12/02/2015 19:36

It sound rediculous. It did make me laugh though so thank you. I think it's around 18-24 months that kids could do with a little socialising with others the same age so till then just don't bother with playgroups. For now just see your friends, it's a bonus I surpose if they have kids for yours to hang out with.

Original poster
Gennz · 12/02/2015 19:41

Oh great thank you everyone!! Pre baby rational me would have said don't be so ridiculous, it sounds totally lame, but post baby psycho me sent the email dropping out and then couldn't get back to sleep after DS' 4.30am feed, wondering if I'd harmed his social deveopment. Even as I was doing it the rational part of my brain was saying "WTF are you DOING you crazy woman"

Yes baby swimming sounds a bit more up my alley.

DS takes after me anyway, he spent the first half of the session asleep and the second half with a grumpy expression on his face like "what fresh hell is this".

OP posts:
Knottyknitter · 12/02/2015 20:02

Mine screamed through baby bounce and sing at the library yesterday. (4.5 weeks)

I may go again, as it's a) short, only a half hour, b) good to remember some nursery rhymes that I might not bother with otherwise, c) a nice place to meet other mums and d) has a loyalty scheme where you collect story books!

The one thing I won't do again is sing her "twinkle twinkle little star" as that elicited true HOWLS, same when my brother sang it to her later. I have no idea what she has against it; she was fine with "wheels on the bus"!!!

Can't wait for her to be big enough for baby swimming (they don't take them at the gym until 8 weeks) and for me to be cleared for mummy circuits (not allowed until after 6week check up).

Ruperta · 12/02/2015 20:06

Ha the only baby groups I went to with my first involved cafes and wine. Different with my second as I had a toddler to entertain so my life revolved around playgroups that involved strong coffee!

Jaffakake · 12/02/2015 20:23

God, that sounds like hell on earth to me! You'll find things you like.

daluze · 12/02/2015 20:27

Any baby groups until they ~6 months ate for you - baby doesn't care yet. But even then I'd go only to the ones you like, or tolerate at least. The one you described sounds ridiculous, I can't imagine anyone going there for 30 weeks!
Look around, there maybe much more to choose from - swimming, baby massage, etc. Or just join some postnatal coffee groups (NCT often organises them, but you don't need to be a member to join), which is probably the best while baby is small.

hazelnutlatte · 12/02/2015 20:28

That baby group sounds mad! At the one I used to go to we had a cup of tea and a biscuit whilst the babies did very little! Then 2 mins of nursery rhymes at the end.

squiz81 · 12/02/2015 20:29

That sounds awful!

I didn't do any of these groups, I think they're great if you want to meet other mums though.

We did baby swim from 4 months and sometimes rhyme time at the library, but only once ds was about 6 months and engaged a bit more with what was happening.

Once they're a bit older you spend your life traipsing around various forms of torture fun clubs, so I say make the most of this age and spend time doing things you want to do!

LetticeKnollys · 12/02/2015 20:31

That sounds rubbish. I went to a Baby Sensory class which was good while it lasted because, well, they did things which actually interested the babies! It still got a bit repetitive by the end though so we only did one term.

I take DS to a baby swimming group at the weekend which is pretty cool, I can tell he enjoys it because he goes all smiley but other than that I am now just taking him to the occasional rhyme time.

Sizzlesthedog · 12/02/2015 20:37

Run for the hills, it sounds like hell!

scratchandsniff · 12/02/2015 20:40

That sounds really badly planned out with ridiculous activities. Far too long too, you only want to do 30-45 mins with a baby. I'd be staying away too. All who on earth wants to commit for 30 weeks?!

Only1scoop · 12/02/2015 20:42

I stopped reading after 'sit in circle' sorry Op rather stick pins in my eyes....

FishWithABicycle · 12/02/2015 20:47

That sounds like a truly terrible group. You were quite right to drop out.

At babystage, groups if at all should be for your benefit - you are quite right the baby would be getting nothing out of it.

Postnatal yoga might be worthwhile. Rhyme time things can be useful for reminding yourself of the lyrics of nursery rhymes which you haven't heard since you were 3. Otherwise, the sole point of mother&baby groups is to make friends with lots of mums of similar age babies who will be life-saving support, advice and babysitting. Do go to something, but how much are you going to want to be best friends with a bunch of women who think that group is worth spending time on?

roofio87 · 12/02/2015 21:42

I love baby groups and all organised group fun, and this sounds rubbish even to me!!

Hoppinggreen · 12/02/2015 22:05

Bloody Hell, that sounds like some sort of comedy sketch about baby groups!!!
Find something less loopy to do with your baby

MakkaPakkastolemystone · 12/02/2015 22:37

Me and 10 week old DS were expelled from baby massage classes. He cried from the minute we arrived to the minute we left for the first three of the twelve weeks of classes we signed up for. I got a polite email explaining that he wasn't contributing to the relaxed atmosphere of the class apparently! Loved baby swimming and the reading group at the local library instead. My NCT class were lovely and in the first year we had coffee and cake in each others houses once a week, but at that stage it was more for our sanity. Now they're all toddlers groups are much more for them than the parents and I gladly pay to have glitter, paint and glue somewhere other than my house!

CocktailQueen · 12/02/2015 22:40

That is so funny! You have obviously found a bonkers baby class. Made my Grin to think of you all cutting and sticking while your babies slept....

Have never heard about signing up to anything for 30 weeks!

Wait till DS is older, then find a different baby group...

morethanpotatoprints · 12/02/2015 22:46

That sounds dire, there's no way you can go back and for 30 weeks.
i'm so glad I never got involved with group activities.

Arsenic · 12/02/2015 22:48

"I hope I am always my child's favourite toy"

That's rather, erm, emetic Hmm

Waggamamma · 12/02/2015 22:49

That sounds bonkers Shock .

My ds2 is 5months. We do two baby groups. The first one is 90mins and costs £1, babies roll around in mats in the floor in a church hall whilst mums drink tea and eat biscuits. The second is a 45min structured music class, £5 per class, really lovely group with age appropriate songs and activities.

We sometimes go to rhyme time at the library and might start swimming soon.

2.5hrs at 11weeks old sounds hellish to me!

BrianButterfield · 12/02/2015 22:50

I went to baby groups at that age at a lovely childrens centre where you dumped the baby on a play at and the staff brought you coffee while you sat on a lovely comfy sofa and chatted. The staff looked out for new people and subtly facilitated conversations, and loved cuddles with babies, and if you felt like it you could sit in the floor and play. It was great. I went once to a bay group where we had to all join and it was not my scene! Save that for the toddler years!