My 2.5 year old daughter sees her father every 6 weeks...

[LondonSarah]

I split up with my ex-husband when my daughter was 3 months old, he initially saw her every other weekend and had her for a week a year.

Last November he told me he was going to Dubai to live and that he wanted to see my daughter every 6th weekend and have her for 2 weeks a year, so since November he has seen her once.

Our daughter is now 2.5 years old and although understands a lot I'm not sure if she will be ok going away for a week at a time (maybe abroad) without understanding that she won't see me for all that time?
I am due to have another baby the week that she is due to go away with her dad and his girlfriend, do you think will do more damage than good? Do you think I can ask for her not to be taken out of the country? And is 2 separate weeks a year too much when he sees her every 6 weeks and she's still so little?

Help! I don't want to be unreasonable but at the same time it breaks my heart the thought of her not understanding the situation and not being able to communicate what she wants properly

Hi. It doesn't seem to be so much of a problem your daughter staying with her Dad for a week as it seems so far she has been happy to see him.
Personally , for your childs sake, I think the issue is more of timing. They may not react at all, but as you say having a new sibling can be a big deal for children. Presumably your ex would be understanding if you asked if she could go another time? You don't want to be worrying if you are in labour etc as to how she is doing.

Try to talk to your ex if you can about lack of communication when your daughter is with him. If he is reluctant write a polite, reasonable but firm letter stating your concerns about it and emphasising that you have your daughters best interests at heart. If she is seeing him regularly it is only reasonable to want to be able to talk to her and enquire as to how she is, for both your sakes, and vice versa, as of course she may well want to talk to you whilst she is with Dad.

You are obviously doing all you can to keep communication going via Skype etc. Your ex does need to bear in mind that choosing to move abroad will have an impact on his daughter, and that he will have to accept that he will have to be flexible at times as regards to contact, as I am sure you will be. If your gut instinct is that she should not go at that time then state this and arrange something else. Hope you manage to discuss this reasonably with him. Good Luck.