Tips needed from experienced mums on how to survive/enjoy maternity leave...

[Bellyrub1980]

Hiya,

My baby is 12 days old and on Monday my DP returns to work. I'm dreading being at home on my own all day. I'm already feeling a bit trapped by the house and too unconfident with breast feeding and a screaming baby to leave the house on my own.

So, although I'm now very aware that this year 'off work' is actually going to be pretty hard, I'd still like to make the most of it and... if possible... even enjoy it

Pretty much everyone I talk to tells me to sleep when the baby sleeps. I'm finding this virtually impossible during the day. I just can't switch off. And I'm getting around 2-5 hours a night. I think my body is getting used to it.

So what did you do to survive maternity leave? What did you wish you did? Do you have any tips on how to make it an enjoyable experience?

I'm afraid I survived rather than enjoyed mat leave...

I agree with getting out and about - not necessarily to groups, just a walk or trip to the shops makes a big difference to your mental state. Also small babies sleep better if they are moving, so regular walks helps avoid overtiredness. And once they are a bit older, they are mostly happier and less bored if you go to different/busy places. Wish I'd done this more (current weather doesn't help though).

I wish I'd worried less about my baby kicking off and crying in a group - with hindsight nobody would have cared or judged. And I wish I'd worried less about "doing it right" ie getting my baby to behave like the books said/like other babies behaved. They are all different, mine is just a bolshy easily bored non sleeper it turns out, it wasn't because I was doing something wrong!

Have a plan for when you will shower and eat and get out of the house - this gets easier as nap times get more predictable. I found a routine a lifesaver for this - although the downside was I spent a lot of time worrying if DD didn't stick to it. So I'd say have a routine but try not to worry if some days don't work out.

Rope in DH/DP for help - eg perhaps he can do a late evening feed if you manage to express enough (morning, straight after the first feed is usually the best time) and that means you can go to bed early (assuming you're not stuck in a cluster feeding phase that is). "Sleep when the baby sleeps" never worked for me either.

Not read all the posts so probably been said before BUT, ENJOY!! they are the greatest days of your life... do what you'd like to do with ( or without baby) don't get all hung up on baby this or baby that group - go to art galleries, go to the cinema, meet old friends, go to lunch just be you as much as you can then you'll enjoy the time off - don't see it as some sort of enforced thing about being with baby... sorry bit airey fairy sounding but honestly be yourself

Definitely check if there are breastfeeding groups, as these are free and friendly.
You could also contact your local NCT branch. Mine (islington) is reasonably active and will put you in touch with other mums even if you can't afford to formally join as a member (though that's encouraged as it's a charity).
Good luck. It gets easier

Please just enjoy your maternity leave. For me! Mine went far too fast. My advice is... go for walks, chat to people, take baby swimming, visit friends, do things you can't do whilst working. Don't worry. Baby is fine. Enjoy each other. Don't worry about how much baby eats/:sleeps/ moves/ talks, as long as they smile. They learn that by being smiled at. 5 hours sleep already... you lucky thing!

I loved maternity leave I went to a breast feeding group and made a group of friends and we went for lots of coffees and walks together I also spent a lot of time feeding and watching tv something I miss as now I'm trying to stop her climb on to everything!! Some cinemas have baby chickens I didn't g e t but do that also local library's do singing sessions and they are free and I did that a lot also the reason your given this leave is cos it's a hard old year so rest as much as poss it goes by in a flash it honest l y does

Congratulations firstly! I agree with everything above - all great advice. My one bit to add to it all is that in the early days, before you get worried about proper bedtime routines, you can go out in the evenings -little babies will sleep anywhere so you can go for a quick drink (my tipple was half a lager shandy....) and the noise of the pub always seemed to sooth my grumpy DS1. Now I have DS2 I can't and I miss it! do it while you can!

The thing about babies is that they change really quickly, so if something works, do it a lot, because you won't be able to do it forever. DS1 was great at baby cinema until 3 months, then he hated the noise. Then he loved socialising in coffee shops until he got too wriggley. Just try and enjoy each stage as they develop and don't worry if you feel like you're always playing catch-up - that never changes!