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Parenting

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Original poster

DOES YOUR CHILD call you by your FIRST NAME and if so WHAT do you do about it???

80 replies

drosophila · 25/09/2006 20:27

DS used to call us by our first names and we never corrected him. We just used to call each other Mummy and Daddy when talking to him. Eventually he used Mummy and Dad more often. Then DD came along and he reverted to calling us by our first names again.

When asked by his gran why he calls us by our first names he says ' Because X is their name and Mummy is what they do'. I find it hard to argue with that logic. DD is now starting to use our first names. I just wondered if other had similar experience and do you think it is an important issue. DS is 6 and dd is 20 mths.

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Posey · 25/09/2006 20:31

The only people I know whose children call them by their first names, they have made a decision that they want them to, rather than the children taking it upon themselves. Your ds's logic is quite right. If you're happy with it, then there is no issue. Personally I like being mum/mummy, but don't think there is anything "wrong" with using first names.

Glassofwine · 25/09/2006 20:32

When i was a child I had a close friend who called his parents mummy and daddy when talking to them, but their names when talking about them. I thought it was strangly remote at the time, but now I quite like the idea.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Original poster

drosophila · 25/09/2006 20:34

My mum told me it's very common with the first born and that they will grow out of it and follow their peers but DS is an individual in certain areas.

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hester · 25/09/2006 20:35

I have a friend whose children (5 and 3) have started doing this. Can't imagine why, but personally I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I can't see it as an important issue, and wouldn't pick this battle!

QueenEagle · 25/09/2006 20:36

ds3 often says our first names but only beacuse he has just realised we have proper names other than mummy or daddy iyswim. I usually say yes that's my name but you can call me mum/mummy though.

Personally it would feel weird to have my kids calling me by my name.

Carmenere · 25/09/2006 20:37

Our dd does it to wind us up as she knows it irks her dad. I think it is fine btw, my siblings and I all refer to our parents by their first names now but called them mum and dad whilst growing up.

lulumama · 25/09/2006 20:37

7 year old DS calls me by my name and has done for a good year or so, never asked him to!! refers to his dad by first name quite often and calls grandparents by their names not grandma or grandpa ....DD cannot really talk , but calls dad by his first name already , obviously picked up from sibling.
doesn't bother me, i am more than just 'mum', nice to have recognition of my name..friends think it is hilarious!

hunkermunker · 25/09/2006 20:38

I don't like it, personally - ie I don't like it when DS1 calls me by my name or DH by his (although it's pretty funny when he shouts "DH!" in the same tone of voice as I do... because he's only 2.5).

I think if it bothers you, just say that it might be your name, but that your children are the only people who get to call you Mummy and that's pretty special in your opinion. It's up to them if they decide to call you that afterwards.

2Babies0Bumps · 25/09/2006 20:40

ds1 is 14 months and calls 'dess' after me when i go upstairs and calls dh 'kiss' when he goes upstairs.
only when we are upstairs tho.... strange.

Surfermum · 25/09/2006 20:42

DD(3.4)does and I hate it! She's copying my step-d, who obviously uses my first name. I don't make a big deal of it and just say "it's mummy to you" and explain that her sister has her own mummy and that's why she calls me Surfermum.

sugarfree · 25/09/2006 20:51

Ds1 went through a phase of this (can't remember how old though but it was before he had brothers to copy him so before 7)we ignored it and he stopped eventually.
I only think it's important if you do,and in that case I would take Hunker's approach.

BettySpaghetti · 25/09/2006 20:54

DS (2.3) calls us by our first names occasionally but he does it with a cheeky grin, watching for our reactions. His sister has never done it so its not something hes picked up off her.

Like Hunkers DS he also shouts DPs name in my tone of voice or my name in DPs voice too which is quite amusing.

beansprout · 25/09/2006 20:56

I think that is a really lovely distinction - that you are you and "mummying" is what you do. I waited a long time to be "mum" so I think I would hope that ds calls me that, at least for a while, but I don't have a problem with it per se.

coppertop · 25/09/2006 20:57

Ds2 goes through phases of calling me by my first name. The first time it lasted for a couple of months. Now it's usually for a couple of hours. He has never called dh by his first name though. Ds2 is 3.5yrs old.

WestCountryLass · 25/09/2006 21:42

My DS calls me by my first name. I wish he called me Mummy but he says he likes my name and thinks it is better than Mummy. I have bigger fish to fry than worry about it kwim?

I do sometimes wonder if people think I am his nanny though!

FillyjonktheBananaEater · 25/09/2006 21:46

ds does sometimes. not consistently. cos everyone else does.

dd, thus far calls me mamamamamama which i am much happier with

helsy · 25/09/2006 21:47

Certainly not! I didn't go through 18 months of vomiting to be called Helsy

anniediv · 25/09/2006 21:48

It only bothers me if we're out as I often find myself saying 'don't call him (dh's name), call him Daddy', as I think anyone listening would think I am forcing my dds to call a bf 'Daddy'!! I help out at an after school group where dd1 calls me by my name because everyone else does. I suppose it would be the same if I was their teacher.

alexsmum · 25/09/2006 21:49

the ds's call us by our names and we don't do anything about it.should wE? they are our names after all.

Olihan · 25/09/2006 21:51

Ds (2.8) always calls me 'mummy' but tends to call dh by his name most of the time. I pmsl the other day when ds piped up "Daniel, stop winding me up!" in a perfect echo of me at my fish wife worst . His other favourites are "Daniel, stop it!" and "NO, Daniel, that's enough, you're being a pain" all directed at his father. I had some fast explaining to do!

MoreTeaAnyone · 25/09/2006 21:52

YEh sometimes they do. Usually when they're having a laugh. We call them daughter when they do it. I'm quite happy about it, doesn't bother me.

fattiemumma · 25/09/2006 21:52

Every now and then DS will call me by my name and i just wait and say "who am i?"

he has a real problem with names and when he is running about with my brothers who are allc alling me by my real name he gets confused.

Tortington · 25/09/2006 22:16

yes its important to me - i am their mother - its my title my badge of homour - i earned it - a lot - fr me its about respect and power. the title mother holds so much power. i like that power. i feel i should be called mum out of respect. i feel to call me by the name MY mother gave me would be disrespectful to my status.

all kids do it - the difference is i wagged a finger and said " I am your mother. Not your friend. are..we...clear?"

to let your childrenc all you by your name sounds very waitrose to me

rustybear · 25/09/2006 22:54

Like hunkermunker I said to DS 'you & dd are the only people in the world who can call us Mummy & Daady' & he liked that. Also his best friend has the same name as DH & I think he found it confusing.
However I have never been 'Aunty' to my DN's & my two call all their aunts & uncles by their first names

Kelly1978 · 25/09/2006 23:00

I agree with hm, and custardo, I really wouldn't encourage it or let it go. I LIKE being mummy, I'm not kelly to my children, and it is a matter of respect.

dd decided then that I must therefore be mrs mummy, but I let that one go!

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