resenting oh

[Buffy81]

Just a quick question. Did any of you resent your other half? Mine is back at work now and we do shifts(10-2 & 2-6) at night so are sleeping in separate beds. Mine has got up this morning to get lo's bottle ready for his 6am feed saying that he had about 20mins sleep as his body wouldnt let him drop off(he was on the late shift, I did the early) and then ds started up as was time for his feed. He is now sleeping downstairs to get a couple of hrs sleep before work as he has to drive just over an 1hr to get to where he needs to be today (he is an it engineer that covers a large area).

You really need to let the housework slide, and do try to get snatches of sleep when you can during the day. Kiki has good advice - make sure you're home for your baby's naps, don't waste them!
I wish I'd followed advice to spend more days in bed with baby: not even getting either of us dressed, no shower, just cuddle in bed - ideally getting up just for food your oh has left ready for you in the fridge. It will relax both of you to have days like that, and you're more likely to sleep when the baby does. I had some crazy idea that by about 4-6 weeks, I should be managing to do things in the day. In retrospect, that was nonsense: 4 weeks is still really, really tiny! Seriously, have a cuddle day right now!

Oh and don't try to get to baby groups at this stage unless you're getting cabin fever. Babies don't get anything from them until about 3 months, and getting out of the house for a set time is stressful. I remember when DD was 3 weeks old I spent the entire day trying to get out of the house to go to the Health Visitors clinic - and still failing. I finally got there the following day. At 4 weeks, it was a real mission to get to the shop at the end of the road to buy a card for DH. I was quite proud of myself, and sent him a photo of us in front of the shop! I know some people find it easier than that, especially if their baby is chilled, but I don't think I was unusual. It's really, really hard. And these are still very, very early days (even though it doesn't feel like it - especially if you haven't slept for those 4weeks!) All the advice about getting out of the house is for when you get to 3-4 months, by which time it is honestly much easier. For now, I'll say it again, cuddles in bed are all you should be trying to achieve.

Sitting/lying in bed with your knees up, and your baby in that fork with her back against your thighs - chatting, singing and staring into her eyes - is the loveliest thing. Sigh!
Oh, but don't bother trying to read books to your baby yet. When they say to start as early as possible, they don't actually mean at a few days/weeks old Give that a couple more months before you start too.

You have really got to let the housework slide. It just isn't important. You need to take every chance you can to look after yourself while you're on your own with your baby. Get a cleaner, easy ready meals, order takeaways, or just develop blindness to mess, or whatever else you need to do to cope, but at 4 weeks you should not be worrying about housework!

Sleeeeeep!!! Even now my dd is 6 months old and sleeping better at night (usually) I still take naps when I'm tired.

I personally found the dishes and clothes easier to do in the evenings by DH and everything else can slide for a bit.

12 weeks was when I felt most sleep deprived because it has been building up, it's so important to do what you can to mitigate it.