What's harder - going from 0-1 or 1-2 children?

[milkyman]

Feeling nervous about second

De

Def

Watching with interest. We have such a nice life with one that it makes me doubt our decision to try for #2.

Marking place. I know I want another one but my fear of having 2 while DH works shifts has put me off ttc for the time being.

Argh phone going mad! Definitely 0-1, you are already in the 'zone' once you have had one, you don't have stupidly unrealistic expectations and you are not as shy about asking for help!!

Just find out I'm pregnant with second and feel so unhappy, I know that is selfish.

0-1 definitely. That's the big life change, the second one in my experience was a breeze in comparison.

I couldn't say which is harder. Sleep deprivation and every day baby care/routine obviously easier 2nd time. BUT life with 2 little ones is so exhausting it makes you wonder why 1 seemed hard. No chance to have a lie in after a bad night and no relaxing trips to cafes with nct group as you have a boisterous toddler in tow.

0-1 is defo the hardest,such a huge lifestyle change. 1-2 is hard for a short while but soon gets so much better.

Personally I found having just one child boring, adding another into the mix made things more interesting. so much so I added a third too.

0-1 was the hardest for me, DS2 just slotted right in!

Walde - what is your age gap? Mine will be 2.5 yrs

0-1. I had no idea why he was doing certain things, what to expect, what to do about it. When going through sleep regressions I honestly had a thought that something was seriously wrong.
Even though my 2nd was a totally different baby, everything was familiar. Stock up on sleep and healthy food - I nearly went mad through sleep deprivation and eating too much crap.

22 month gap here. It's getting easier now but I was at the end of my tether for a while! DS is only 7 months so still early days. Now DD is 2.5 things are more manageable so hopefully you'll have an easier time with a bigger gap.

It also depends on how easy your first is. DD was a very placid baby so we were a bit spoilt. That's probably why 2nd time seemed so hard.
My SIL has the same gap as us and she finds it a doddle as her first was such a terror.

0-1 definitely the most difficult (and I've done 1-2 and 2-3!). The big lifestyle changes happened with the first baby. With the second and third, we had already accepted those changes (e.g. no deciding to pop out to the pub for last orders on a whim, having to be organised in general life etc). And you're so much more relaxed with your second baby, it's not such a big upheaval. I can remember, when DD1 was a couple of days old, I fed her one night then DH s-l-o-w-l-y got her settled into her Moses basket, crept into bed and lay down. A couple of minutes later she started snuffling - DH leapt out of bed to go and see what was the matter. With subsequent children, we'd learned to wait and see if it was just sleepy snuffling or proper waking-up snuffling. Poor ol' DD1, she was probably just getting comfy and next thing she knows, her dad is picking her up and disturbing her

Oh I was just thinking about this. Definitely going from 0-1. Everything changes when you first become a parent - how you feel, sleep
, eat, relax etc. But by the time number 2 comes along your already in "that place" it's's almost difficult for me to remember pre-kids. I found with DS2 I was so much more relaxed and enjoyed those newborn snuggles so much more. Wish I could've had that time again with DS1 without the angst.

0-1!

0-1,

DD2 was born at home and knew how to BF, she just felt like she belonged straight away.

0-1 definitely!!

0-1 is way way harder. Going from 1 to 2 you know what you're doing at least! Larger age gaps recommended (at least 3 years).

0-1 definitely! Dc2 just fitted in.

0-1.

What a shock. He is a difficult child as well, 9 years on.

The rest are a breeze.

I disagree.

1-2 is much harder, particularly with a small gap.

Especially if dc1 was a sleeper and dc2 didn't sleep till he was about 7.5 (years, not months).

Have not quite forgiven dc1 for lulling me into a false sense of security

1-2 for me

Juggling the needs of a preschooler with a baby whilst sleep deprived is what I found hardest. Those days when everyone's been up from 5.30, it's pissing down outside, the preschooler's ill, the baby is cluster feeding and you wonder if it's reasonable to start lunch at 10.30...

OTOH 2-3 was a piece of piss - was truly In The Zone and there was this marvellous establishment called SCHOOL...

0-1 was a breeze
1-2 was not