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Original poster

why do people with "one of each" not want any more kids?

75 replies

chocolatekimmy · 15/09/2006 22:00

Lots of people I know say they don't want more kids because they already have one of each - why is this? Whats the thing about having one of each and not another one so the girl can have a sister or the boy a brother?

This sounds a bit mad I know but it sounds like a daft 'reason' not to have any more to me!

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Nemo1977 · 30/09/2006 23:17

I have one of each and when we had dd dh and his parents both thought we should be grateful for that and not have anymore..However am now 25wks with the odd one out..lol Regardless of the sexes of my children I always knew I wanted a few.

Heathcliffscathy · 30/09/2006 23:18

because then they have a boy to project all their unresolved boy/man stuff onto and a girl to project all their unresolved girl stuff onto.

that's why.

fatfox · 30/09/2006 23:21

sopable, your probably right - two "mini-me's", one each

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shhhh · 30/09/2006 23:37

btw we too get the comments "so now you will have one of each you won't want any more"...

Astrophe · 01/10/2006 00:08

I have one of each and would like two more in a few years time. I've always wanted 4...4 girls, 4 boys, a mixture...I've never been bothered. I don't get how having one of each makes a family 'balanced'...what does it mean? Are families with 2 girls 'unbalanced'???

My SIL is one of 6 girls and they have a wonderful family 'culture' and have loads of fun and are really close. Unbalanced? I have 2 brothers and always felt a bit ripped off and like I wasn't part of the 'boys club'. Balanced?

Blondilocks · 01/10/2006 00:38

Could it be that lots of people only want 2 children & just happen to get one of each?

I'd be happy with 2 children, but if no 2 is another girl we might want a 3rd (although we'll have to see!) If no2 is a boy I think I'll be less inclined to have a 3rd.

3sEnough · 01/10/2006 07:33

Hi I had one of each and then decided on a 3rd - my mum thought I was mad as I already had the 'full set'. I had a fair amount of grief for the decision for a long time but I have a friend who has just had her 3rd son and my Mum could totally understand why she wanted a 3rd but not me!! I should add though that she's a fab grandma and loves dd2 to bits - she just tends to say what she thinks without giving thought to how her daughter might percieve her 'helpful' comment! Mums heh!

lulumama · 01/10/2006 20:36

i have one of each - i feel my family is complete - i am blessed to have the kids i have. terrible PND after DS, so when able to get pregnant again and had a girl and an amazing birth experience...there is a 6 year gap between the kids....seems unreasonable to push my luck ..other reasons too, but that is the main one...

lucykate · 01/10/2006 20:48

i have one of each and don't want any more. its more to do with having had 2 m/c's before having ds than anything else. don't want to go through that again, it made me ill and no use to anyone. i have what i got given, girl/boy/baby elephant, it doesn't really matter, they're just mine

dinny · 01/10/2006 21:04

I've got a dd and ds and I want more, I think.

surely people stopping at two are just stopping as they are happy with two? boy/girl thing is irrelvant - to me at least.

hermykne · 01/10/2006 21:06

i have one of each and would love another one but dh is content with the 2 and i repsect that
however had we had a 2nd girl, he may have gone for a 3rd definitley, i thik its hhis age really 41 this year and ds is 2 + 3mths so he'd like to see them married.

notagrannyyet · 01/10/2006 21:18

I had one of each ......Then I had 4 more boys

3monkeys · 01/10/2006 21:33

I had a DS and then a DD. When no 3 arrived I was so relieved he was a boy! Everyone in our family is horrified I have had 3 - DH is an only child and I am younger of 2 girls, I would have more if DH let me!

soaringflyingCOD · 01/10/2006 21:41

costh ey are nobs

beckybrastraps · 01/10/2006 21:46

I have one of each. I don't want any more because:

My last pregnancy buggered my hip
I don't like being pregnant very much
I'm not getting any younger
I've started to think about what I will do when the youngest one is at school
If I had another miscarriage I would find it very hard
DH and I would like to consider fostering at some point in the future

So as Mercy says, it is simpler to let people think it's because you have one of each. If I give the real reasons I sound a bit unhinged.

lulunaticmama · 01/10/2006 21:48

I don't think i'm a nob for not wanting more !

soapbox · 01/10/2006 21:50

I have one of each and would have loved more - alas it was not to be!

I think all these kind of crap generalisations are just that ... CRAP!

notasheep · 01/10/2006 21:52

I have one of each,would love more but feel too old

bea · 01/10/2006 22:42

i have one of each and of anything if i had had 2 of each i would have been happy to stay with the two... am due no. 3 any day now and thus part of the reason why we went for no. 3... felt like i needed two of each...

OttercumCoypu · 01/10/2006 22:44

i had one of each once.

Now i have one of one and four of the other!

pucca · 01/10/2006 22:50

I have been thinknig about this lately, infact have just had a conversation with my nan about it.

I have a dd (almost 3) and a ds who is 8 weeks, and i don't feel i am "done" with having kids. I said this to my nan who didn't really understand, as everyone else has said people have said "ooh aren't you lucky having one of each" and "ooh you have a completed family now".

I do love having one of each but don't feel i have definately finished at having 2, my dad had the snip when i was only 4weeks old (have an older brother) and i feel this was very final, lots of people also said to me (i found out i was having a boy) why don't you get your tubes tied while you are having your section (including my mum) but that to me is a very harsh decision.

I hate the way people just assume i won't being having anymore...and i can just imagine the reactions i would get if we did have another!!

bea · 02/10/2006 08:43

know what you mean pucca... as like i said id didn't feel 'done'... but definitely do now...

but then again... never say never... am always slightkly surprised when i find out friends have sorted out the snip almost as soon as the 'last' is born... think i will wait a year before sending dh off... although the temptation is to send him off a lot sooner...

just for the fun of it!!!!!

2Babies0Bumps · 02/10/2006 08:48

only read op.
i have 2 boys and dont want anymore.

suenj · 02/10/2006 11:07

I've been told you can only have a C-Section max 3 times - is this true? (Can't deliver normally b4 anyone asks!!)

I've also been told by one person I should wait wait 2 years before conceiving again, and by another person 1 year. ??

Has anyone written a book on all the myths and old wives' tales that get trotted out whenever a pregnancy is announced?! I'd love to read it. Perhaps it could be a joint venture from this site!

cupcakes · 02/10/2006 11:13

It is normally recommended that you don't have more than three - this comes from my old doctor, but she has had women who have had four (they just don't recommend it).

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