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Original poster

why do people with "one of each" not want any more kids?

75 replies

chocolatekimmy · 15/09/2006 22:00

Lots of people I know say they don't want more kids because they already have one of each - why is this? Whats the thing about having one of each and not another one so the girl can have a sister or the boy a brother?

This sounds a bit mad I know but it sounds like a daft 'reason' not to have any more to me!

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hunkermunker · 15/09/2006 22:42

Buktus, I've had that already - so many times I got "oh, you'll be trying for a girl then?" not "congratulations"

I'm sure I'd have loved a girl if I'd had one, but I find boys far easier to relate to. If I have another baby, I know people will think it's because I want a girl. From an intellectual standpoint, it'd be quite interesting to see what a girl DH and I had looked like/was like, but I don't have any deep-seated yearning for a daughter like I know some women do.

buktus · 15/09/2006 22:55

i wouldnt change her for the world but i didnt reallly have that desperate feeling of a girl like you said some women want, but everyone drove me nuts just assuming i wanted a girl, and after i had ds1 and fell pg again everyone was like oh one of each would be lovely and i just thought no it wouldnt really it would be much nicer to have two boys close together and when he was born everyone acted a bit dissappointed for me because it wasnt a girl WHY WHY WHY

Kazziegirl · 28/09/2006 14:27

I have one of each but would have stopped at two even if DD had been another boy.

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dinosaur · 28/09/2006 14:29

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Flamesparrow · 28/09/2006 14:34

I don't know if I am done with just 2 or not. When I think I am though, one of the reasons is that I can see with 3 made of 2 of one sex and one of the other, the "other" is likely to get left out more.

I know it would be the same if I already had 2 girls and then the third was a boy, but it makes some twisted logic to me.

fwiw - I wanted two girls... so not "stopping now I have a set" iyswim

pamina3 · 28/09/2006 14:35

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Twiglett · 28/09/2006 14:51

I have one of each

and boys and girls ARE different

I don't care if its not PC to say .. they are different children of course (and would be whether same sex or not) but the whole experience of having one of each is different from the stereotypes outsiders employ in language and assumption to the way they play

its not better

it IS different

and as soon as DD was born I was incredibly broody for another child .. incredibly broody .. its only now she's 2.5 that is beginning to dissapate

so I am happy with my two children

and I am grateful I have one of each

although that doesn't mean any other combination would have made me less grateful

KTeepee · 28/09/2006 15:02

I had one of each and then had another (planned) - but I think a lot of people were surprised we had a third....

Pinotmum · 28/09/2006 15:06

I have one of each and did want another one but dh didn't. I'm too "old" now.

PinkTulips · 28/09/2006 15:07

i have one of each and thought i'd be happy but i've become ridiculously broody again since having ds (only 9 weeks ago ) dps not keen for finacial and health reasons but i'll work on him

colinandcaitlinsmommy · 28/09/2006 15:09

I have one of each, but would have stoped if DD had been a boy. Our theory is if you have 2, then they don't outnumber you. I seriously find it very odd that since I have one of each, I get people's "approval" to have stopped at to, it is always "Oh, you're only having 2? I guess that is okay since you have one of each." I think I'd have seriously lost it if I had 2 boys and been told I "needed" to have a girl

ledodgyrobespierre · 28/09/2006 15:13

I have one of each and agree with twiglett.

suenj · 28/09/2006 15:18

DH & I want 2 and had DD 8 weeks ago. We may try for a 2nd we may not but decision is based on: 1) both my parents were only children & would have liked siblings, 2) financial, 3) like every other species our job is to replace ourselves on the planet, so 2 parents = 2 children! I think that's where the thinking behind "if you've got one of each, you'll be stopping now" comes from .
But if anyone knows why the day you marry you are under pressure to procreate, I'd be interested! And before I'd left hospital with DH I'd already been asked if I was going to have another !

fattiemumma · 28/09/2006 15:30

i have one of each. the tghing that annoys me is when people say.."aww your lucky you have one of each" like i would ahve been disapointed if number 2 was another boy.

Having two kids, whatever their sex is a blessing but i wouldnt have wanted anymore.

bubblepop · 28/09/2006 15:31

well ive got two of each. so there!

Debbiethemum · 28/09/2006 16:04

I have one of each, with no plans for any more. But I just say two hands, two children. (no disrespect to those who have more).
I did sort of want a girl after ds, partly because of all the horror MIL stories on here .

Troutpout · 30/09/2006 21:42

I've got one of each too and don't want any more...but i would have stopped at 2 whether dd had been a boy or a girl

hunkermunker · 30/09/2006 21:45

STOP PRESS

DS2's getting curly hair. I think I'll have to try for a straight-haired child after all...

divamummy · 30/09/2006 22:27

always wanted 4

shhhh · 30/09/2006 22:47

If ds2b is a boy and as we already have dd then come jan we will have one of each. But.....we still want more..!!
Who knows what the future is, maybe we can't have more or maybe we won't want more BUT atm our plans are for another 3...!!!

2shoes · 30/09/2006 22:55

i have one of each.
When I was growing up I always wanted a boy then a girl with 3 yrs apart.
Mananged that at least.
Have been told I am lucky and clever????
My sil has 3 boys and I am SO fed up with mil going on about how the last one should have been a girl.

fatfox · 30/09/2006 22:57

Chocolatekimmy - I totally agree with you - it is daft. We have one of each and I have obsessed about having a third for the last 4 years (happily am PG now ).

Its very bizarre that people assume that every parent aspires to aquiring a "matching pair", one boy, one girl and that's it!

I wish I could be given £100 for each of the times people have said to me "but you've got one of each, why do you want another?". I'd be off on my world cruise by now!

Actually, it REALLY pisses me off - as though children are a fashion item or something, rather than your family

Piffle · 30/09/2006 23:13

I have one of each and one on the way.
No 3 was like an obsession for me...

hunkermunker · 30/09/2006 23:14

Piffle, I haven't congratulated you yet! CONGRATULATIONS!

Piffle · 30/09/2006 23:17

PMSL well no hurry I'm only 15 weeks after all

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