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Original poster

HELP please mums of 3...

46 replies

comebacksummer · 15/09/2006 17:13

Hi.. am in a very fraught situation where I have 2 dds aged 2 and 4 and am suddenly desperately broody- my DH is not keen to have another and go back to square one as it were- I did not find babydom easy at all so I have no idea why I have these intense feelings of wanting another..I just wanted to know if mums of 3 found it so awful that they wish they could go back to two..if anyone can help me I'd be grateful as I need to sort my head out!

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crayon · 15/09/2006 17:49

Well, I'm only one month in so it is early days, but I can't ever imagine feeling anything other than enormously happy that we went ahead and had three. Two somehow didn't feel enough, but 3 does .

I hope you manage to change your DH's mind if you decide you would like to go ahead.

Crayon

crayon · 15/09/2006 17:49

Well, I'm only one month in so it is early days, but I can't ever imagine feeling anything other than enormously happy that we went ahead and had three. Two somehow didn't feel enough, but 3 does .

I hope you manage to change your DH's mind if you decide you would like to go ahead.

Crayon

Daisymoo · 15/09/2006 17:56

It can't have been too bad having 3 as I went on to have a fourth, who is now nearly 1. I actually found the 3rd and 4th babies much, much easier as I had lots more confidence, worried less and so enjoyed them more. I don't think it's a decision to be taken lightly, but on the other hand I don't think many people actually regret the children they've had and are more likely to regret NOT having another child.

Good luck with your decision.

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Gillian76 · 15/09/2006 17:58

Our 3 are quite close together (gaps are 18 and 21 months). I did find it quite hard going from 2 to 3 but I firmly believe everyone is different in this department.

Am considering a 4th so the memory can't be too bad! (my 3rd is 3 now so it feels like a huge gap to us!)

YeahBut · 15/09/2006 18:04

Am loving being a mum of 3. We waited until the dds were 6 and 4 (and therefore at school / nursery full-time) which made a huge difference. The dds have their own lives outside of home and I'm sure this has reduced the jealousy. They are chuffed to bits with their little brother (8 months)!

bogwobbit · 15/09/2006 18:04

hell no, I found 3 much better (and easier) that 2. Even the age gap of 6 1/2 years between nos 2 and 3 wasn't a problem.
Going from 3 to 4 was pretty hard though.

aaronsmummy · 15/09/2006 18:05

The transition from 1 to 2 was a breeze for me. Added no 3 and life fell apart. Not sure if this was because ds2 got his asd dx just after dd was born.

NotAnOtter · 15/09/2006 18:06

i am a mum of five
I found 2-3 hard but that was because i had 0-2-4 year olds
Have LOVED every minute of my last two babies and dont find it too hard - i am tired but old!

MarsLady · 15/09/2006 18:07

You should try 3 to 5 lol! Actually, I'll be no help to you cos I went with my heart about having more than 2 children and haven't regretted a moment. It's busy, it can be chaotic, but I know what I want and I set strict boundaries for all the children. Everyone pitches in and helps so as they grow it gets easier. Love it!

Original poster

comebacksummer · 15/09/2006 18:14

Thanks everyone for replying to this.. I wasn't the least bit broody with first two.. had DD1 because time seemed right and had Dd2 to "get back in the saddle" as it were.. I really didn't enjoy the pregnancy /baby 1st yr bit which is what scares me.. DH has said it will b eentirely my decision if we have 3 because he wants to stop at 2.. I'm on another thread where I am ovulating at the mo( last night onwards) but chickened out of BDing at the last moment because of enormity of it all.. even though have TTc for the last couple of months!! Bizarre, I know.. just got cold feet and as DH doens't wnat 3rd he says ( quite rightly) I must be 100% that I do... am in such a state about it so your stories are so useful, thanks

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Original poster

comebacksummer · 15/09/2006 18:17

daisymoo-that's erxactly what I think BTW- I will regret it forever (how dramatic) if I don't go for it I think.. despite all teh logistical nightmares 3 bring.. new car, have to lose guest room etc..

OP posts:

MamaG · 15/09/2006 18:28

comegbacksummer are you me?!

Original poster

comebacksummer · 15/09/2006 18:32

ha ha mamag...I've been worried abotu that too! So much to bloody think about.. wish we were in victorian times where I'd just have 20 and get on with it ho ho

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Original poster

comebacksummer · 15/09/2006 18:33

btw mamag.. did you go for 3 in the end or stick with 2??

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3andnomore · 15/09/2006 20:06

Hmm...tough question, because I do love ds3 very dearly...but yes I have found it very hard since I have had him...PG and Birth were both not as enjoyable as the ones of 1 and 2 and he was a really hardwork Baby, only now, at the age of 2 am I finding there is really a light at the end of the tunnel and now he is a truely wonderful little boy and behaviour wise the best of my 3 at this age....so, no I would not wish him away...but sometimes I feel it would have been better not to have a 3. one....especially when I was feeling really low in the last 2 years....but this also made me feel like a supercrap mum
I am making up for it now, because he is truely a lil treasure! But yeah, life would have been easier with just my first 2 ds's!

makemineadouble · 15/09/2006 20:57

I have 3 3 years between 1st two then 6 year gap! I love it they love eachother because of gap I think? to have one now would be very hard work i think wait abit see how you feel Broodiness happens tho its real I get broody now and could easily be granny to poss 8 yr old! lol

wheresthehamster · 15/09/2006 21:02

As soon as I had dd2 I knew that I wanted another, and probably would have gone for even more but I was into my 40's by then and didn't know if I'd have the energy! (wise decision, as it turned out, I'm always knackered). 3 is much harder work as you have to go that extra mile in finding time for one to one. The main problem I noticed, having mine 3 years apart, was that when the dd3 came along dd1 was 6 so we had to be up and ready before 1pm every day! How we got to school on time was a miracle.
Although I love them dearly, if one is away for a few days, two seem like a doddle. If two are away for any reason, pure bliss.
P.S. In 5 years time when you can't get a family room on holiday because they only allow up to two kids and your eldest is charged at adult prices - don't complain to anyone!! The retort on everyone's lips - well you should have thought of that before you had the 3rd!!

singyswife · 15/09/2006 21:11

Hi I have read this thread with interest. I decided to my horror (dd2 was a nightmare to carry and my two dds fight all the time) that I would quite like a third, this feeling has been increased by dd1 going off to school. However, have been trying for 2 years and have recently been diagnosed with pcos. I am now quite sad that this may not happen for us although consultant seems to under the impression that if I lose weight I will be more fertile but how long do I leave it (dd2 is 3.5). Sorry am rambling now but I just got interested in this thread and had to put my thoughts forward. Also had a dream the other night that I was really preganant and actually woke up from dream really upset because it wasnt true. Really am rambling now. Sorry

buktus · 15/09/2006 21:15

i have two boys and an eight month old girl, to start with i thought what the hell of done but now she is crawling and chatting away to them they all sit playing together the others are 4 and 3 dont regret it for a minute and i it is much easier than when i had the two boys close together you will have to little helpers everyday as well - and dd is in such a good routine as everything revolves around school times, etc she had been the easiest baby yet

buktus · 15/09/2006 21:21

singysife - dont be sorry that is so tough, are you going to do what the consultant says. I really wanted four but had to be sterillised after last one which has been hard to come to terms with but i do believe that everything happens for a reason and is meant to be the three of them are healthy and happy i always think you never know if i had my fourth what would i have done if the baby had complications and how would it have affected the other kids - its so hard as you cant control all of these natural hormonal feelings, chin up or try to

cat64 · 15/09/2006 21:27

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SoupDragon · 15/09/2006 21:33

No, I don't wish I could go back to 2. It all seems right now, they're not a pair, they're a bundle. It's a challenge, true, but it's worthwhile. Mine are 7, 5 and 7 months.

nearlythree · 15/09/2006 21:34

I have three aged 4, 2 and 4 mo. There was definitely a big ds-shaped hole in our family that has been filled. I've had three sections and I found my last pg very hard work, and now I am so knackered I can hardly think straight, but it is so worth it and when we are through this stage with little ones we will have the most fab family to enjoy. In practical terms, ds is by far the easiest of the three to care for.

I am not having any more though!

MamaG · 15/09/2006 21:38

I only posted this today comebacksummer! Still not made my mind up, DH not keen either

chocolatekimmy · 15/09/2006 21:52

My third is 9wks old and its wonderful. love having her as part of our family and can't wait for all the lovely things she will do/be part of. Haven't ruled out more children either even though I'm not seen as the most maternal person.

Nothing changes your life like the first, number two onwards is a doddle in emotional terms, yes its physically harder as you have others to run around after but you don't have that same life changing/overwhelming sense of responsibility like with your first.

Children are so beautiful, seems a shame not to have more

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