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Original poster

HELP please mums of 3...

46 replies

comebacksummer · 15/09/2006 17:13

Hi.. am in a very fraught situation where I have 2 dds aged 2 and 4 and am suddenly desperately broody- my DH is not keen to have another and go back to square one as it were- I did not find babydom easy at all so I have no idea why I have these intense feelings of wanting another..I just wanted to know if mums of 3 found it so awful that they wish they could go back to two..if anyone can help me I'd be grateful as I need to sort my head out!

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Original poster

comebacksummer · 16/09/2006 08:38

Thanks everyone... someone said to me that enough crap parents have lots of kids that they don't care for properly so if you're good parents you're duty bound to have lots lol... we shall see.. hubby is coming round to idea and I am desperate to have another ( I really cannot explain why.. must be hormones!!) so we may be back to square one soon.. will keep you posted!

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Bojjitandleggit · 16/09/2006 13:26

Go for it comebacksummer!!! i have 3 - two boys who are 6 and 3 and a little girl who just turned one! i wouldnt change it for the whole world, having 3 is soooo much fun.
It is more tiring as there's obviously that bit more to do, but with 2 kids and all the stuff that goes with them an extra person doesnt make alot of difference, when im out and about though i do sometimes find myself having to do a head count which is abit odd as its only 3 but that extra little person seems to make a difference in busy places. Honestly go for it - its great, you will not regret it for a second

Original poster

comebacksummer · 16/09/2006 13:43

thanks.. do you think you are so happy because you had a girl 3rd time around? I have 2 dds and obviously would love a boy, but have a feeling I'll get another pink flavoured one!!! Our house already looks like a fairy kingdom as it is.. ( and I hate all things pink and fluffy so it doesn't come from me!)

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BROWNY · 16/09/2006 13:51

I had three children very close together and decided to have another baby when our youngest started school. We were really lucky and I found out I was pregnant in the summer holidays, as our youngest started school in the September.

Our three older children love their little brother so much and arn't even a little jealous of him. I do the headcount too Bojitandleggit, it's a necessity when you've got 4. I'd say go for it, the early days are tiring but those few months go by in a flash and then you'll have all the fun of watching your other children with the baby .

nearlythree · 16/09/2006 14:50

cbs, I had two dds so I was amazed when we found ds was on his way. Don't think it would have made any difference to how happy I am but would have been a totally different family dynamic.

serenity · 16/09/2006 15:00

At the time it didn't feel that much different going from 2 to 3 (apart fronm the weirdness of having a DD after the DSs!), however it feels strangely calm if I only have 2 of them at home. Add the third (doesn't matter which one) and the noise and general chaos levels rise x10! If our financial situation was different I'd be going for no.4 though, and I'm not keen on the whole pg/little baby bit either.

Moppi · 16/09/2006 15:41

Hmmm not sure CBS, (is bojjitandleggit BTW) its GREAT to have a little girl as my house was nothing but Bob the soddin' builder and a million and one little cars and trucks and evrything was shades of blue in my laundry lol, but its when we have a story before bed, all 3 of them sit there all washed and ready for bed and they sit like angels all reading a funny book, its like our little club i cant recommend it enough!

Ness73 · 18/09/2006 04:42

COmebacksummer, I could have written your post...! Also have two dds 4 and 2 and thought I was completely over it when had dd2 (unplanned and quite close for me to dd1) but suddenly have this unexplainable broodiness!!! I talk myself out of it using all the logical reasons but keep bloody well coming back to it. Brought it up with DH Sat night (after a few glasses of wine!) and while he started with 'look, I'm not against it' then went onto details a pretty damn convincing argument against the third (along the lines of 'we've got two great kids -- why risk it?'). So I thought he'd convinced me too but here I am thinking about it again. I'm not a fan of pregnancy and new babies either but love their ages now.

Miaou · 18/09/2006 07:01

I've got three, but had the third after a big gap - my dds were 8 and 6 when ds was born. I found it incredibly easy and am planning to have a fourth. Never once regretted having ds, despite the "going back to square one" bit. As well as all the hassle and sleep deprivation, you get the joyous moments too

kittywits · 18/09/2006 07:20

We're expecting no. 6 and that feels like a complete family to us. But of course for every child you have the work load increases and so does the money you fork out!

Original poster

comebacksummer · 18/09/2006 07:33

kittywits I am in awe of you.. six??? Do you ever get any time to yourself? it must be constant!
ness73, there seem to be so many of us in this same dilemma.. mamag said she thought she was me too!! I wonder if it's a hormonal thing? You sound just like me.. I just wasn't broody before and I know all the logical answers ie we have 2 fab healthy girls who are wonderful.. I would never have said after the birth of dd2 that i would ever have another and we were even thinking of the snip.. but now...i just feel i want to do it all one last time and try to enjoy it this time. Maybe it'll be easier 3rd time? Maybe I won't make the same mistakes with feeding, sleep etc that I obviously made with my two dds who were dreadful in every respect? Who knows...

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agalch · 18/09/2006 07:36

Comebacksummer

I always wanted a 3rd child but dp and i decided not to due to space and financial reasons.When we moved house and i learned to drive i decided to tell him that i had always longed for another baby.He said if he'd known how i felt we could have done it sooner.

So i'm kind of like Miaou,my ds's are now 15 and nearly 11 and i have a dd who is 2 and dd who is 7 weeks tomorrow.

Didn't find it hard going back to the baby stage,was lovely in fact but we are stopping at 4.I know i would have always regretted not having my 3rd and then my 4th.

Good luck
xx

Original poster

comebacksummer · 18/09/2006 07:48

thanks for that agalch (unusual name.. what does it mean??)
That's exactly how I feel.. that it will be niggling away at me if I don't at least try to see if I fall for a 3rd.. if it doesn't happen then it will be fate, I guess...hubby is getting upset at how sad I am about this and has now said if I want it that badly then he'll support me and go for it.. so watch this space!

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Ness73 · 18/09/2006 07:53

woohoo..go for it comebacksummer. I thought about trying that approach but past experience has my getting pregnant at the drop of a hat so think I better be sure I'm ready first.

Good luck and keep us in the loop!!

Original poster

comebacksummer · 18/09/2006 08:04

Will do, thanks nessy
Think we have missed this month anyway so doubtless we'll go through all the heart to hearts before trying again next month...

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ratclare · 18/09/2006 15:36

oh my god ,i could have written this thread , i have a ds 11 and a dd 4 and desperately want one more , my dh is generally against the idea ,but i am planning on convincing him by february ( so i can get chrimbo off work ) I spend hours on ebay looking at baby stuff ,actually that probably makes me a bit sad as opposed to plain broody ! I just cant imagine never having another ,im only 35 for goodness sake and my ovaries cant be frazzled just yet !

ratclare · 18/09/2006 15:37

good luck by the way and let us know what happens wont you

mummydoc · 18/09/2006 16:31

cbs - feel the same only i had hysterectomy during delivery of number 2 and though love reading these threads they are so bitter sweet. go for number 3 and be thankful !

Original poster

comebacksummer · 18/09/2006 16:58

Thanks guys.. that's partly how I feel too...just go for it and deal with the practicalities afterwards!!

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Ness73 · 19/09/2006 03:33

I agree...sometimes you can deliberate about a decision too much...The times in my life when I've 'just gone for it' have usually turned out the best!

Original poster

comebacksummer · 19/09/2006 07:35

I am sure we've missed this month but hopefully now we've sort of agreed then next month we c an go for it.. dh is at least looking forward to increased bding ( horrid phrase imo!!)

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