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Original poster

Now are these people rather weird or is it me?

41 replies

emkana · 13/09/2006 23:17

Just been reading on this German parenting board.
They were talking about children touching their parents' genitalia in the bath and following on from that parents touching their children's genitalia. Quite a few people on the thread said that they would stroke and caress their babies' genitalia just like they would do with every other part of their babies' body.
Now I would never touch my children's genitalia for anything other than cleaning. Am I weird? Or are they?

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3andnomore · 14/09/2006 16:12

I am saying that maybe something is a bit misunderstood and wrongly translated...I mean, I touch my sons winky (well when tehy are young) sort of in a jokingly way or stroke gently over their tummy downwards over the winky down the legs...I don't see this as sexual more as in a gentle game, I kiss their bottys (after a bath only, lol) ...there is touching and touching...I just don't think that those parents are weird or are doing anything wrong, but that it is taken out of context maybe and therefore misunderstood!
I'd be very interested in readng the german thread to be honest, to see how I would feel then about it!

trinityshiftingherleatheryarse · 14/09/2006 16:13

they are weird, I pat bottoms but thats it

MeAndMyBoy · 14/09/2006 16:18

3andnomore Emkana is german i think.

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NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2006 16:43

It is strange that it's completely taboo to touch kids' genitals at all. I mean, if a mom only touched the rest of their kids to clean them, then we'd think she wasn't a very good mom, right?

3andnomore · 14/09/2006 17:00

Thank you NQC...started to wonder if I might be a weirdow or something...but I honestly don't see what is weird or how one would consider it maybe almost sexual abuse and wrong...I mena, one should not obcess over ones childs genitalia...but well...I really don't think it is that much of a problem!

PrettyCandles · 14/09/2006 19:26

No, I agree with you, 3andnomore - and with NQC on the strangeness of our attitudes. I think though that you can't really expect a different attitude, or any approach to yuor and my attitudes from most of the posters on this thread, as some behaviours and beliefs are so deeply ingrained that any other concept just cannot be considered. I don't mean to be rude to the other posters, BTW.

But it really does seem strange and wrong to endow certain parts of the body with such a strong sexual taboo, and yet to sexualise asexual children by dressing them as little adults. The two just don't fit together.

NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2006 19:35

Oh I hate seeing little girls in bikinis. And am offended by the existance of heels for little girls (outside dressing up outfits, I guess).

HappyMumof2 · 14/09/2006 19:57

Message withdrawn

zoeuk1 · 14/09/2006 20:01

im finding this quite disturbing. why would a parent want to masturbate their child?? thats child abuse. the only reason people masturbate is for sexual pleasure. why would people do that to their children? theres a world of difference between that and just sharing a bath or washing your child. this has nothing to do with being hung up on nudity etc.

3andnomore · 14/09/2006 20:08

Zoe...I assume your reaction is to some of the other cultural going on's and not to the german parents the OP talked about?
I mean, by no means do I belief it is o.k. to masturbate a child or anything like that...but what the OP posted about, imho, are just normal parents that do not do anything abnormal to their Kids by including the whole body in cuddling and being carressed in a non-sexual way!

HappyMumof2 · 14/09/2006 20:21

Message withdrawn

3andnomore · 14/09/2006 21:08

That is why I think it's been wrongly interpreted and translated...
those parents don't go out of their way to touch and caress certain areas but they also do not go out of their way to avoid any...iykwim...that is what I think is meant, anyway!

3andnomore · 14/09/2006 21:17

Just incase I got the wrong end of the stick...I just checked what exsactly caress stands for and this is what I found:
link to definition of caress

Personally i do not think that caressing is only possible in a sexual manner...and I truely don't think those people are talking od caressing/masturbating their childrens genitalia, but just to touch them....gentle in a ncie way not sexual...but don't think I said this any clearer now, sorry, lol!

Original poster
emkana · 14/09/2006 21:39

3andnomore - I am German, so nothing got lost in translation!
The way you have understood it is right, I think, these parents are not setting out to specifically touch their children's genitals, but when they are touching their children/stroking them they don't leave the genitals out. As I said before I don't think in any way that they are in any way "perverted", it's not that kind of discussion board!!!
But still I find for myself that it wouldn't occur to me ever to touch my children's genitals other than for cleaning. It just doesn't. Don't know what that says about me, but that's how it is.
Dh, by the way, finds it even odd to touch the children's genitals for cleaning. He does it, but feels weird about it.

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3andnomore · 14/09/2006 22:00

Emkana...thanks for clearing that up...und hallo
I don't think it's wrong for peopel to just touch them when they clean them, but I don't think that it is wrong to touch them other than for that, neither...i.e. if it happens etc...and tbh I find it really sad that people seem to be quite so outraged and would go as far as to say perverted and wrong and disturbing and child abuse...(not you now, but in this thread) ...now THAT is disturbing imo! And very sad...

nearlythree · 14/09/2006 22:14

I think it's very much a cultural thing. We are so hung up on child abuse here - some people even say bfeeding is abuse if it goes in past a certain age. I would agree that to masturbate a child is abuse and equally agree it's possible to touch your own child, below a certain age, as prettycandles says, and for it to be nothing other than loving - although I am with emkana that personally I never touch the dc's bits except for cleaning and putting on nappy cream. I can quite see how a six yr old would get bothered by it, that is such a sensitive age.

We are teaching dd1 who can and can't touch her bottom atm. It's a horrible thing to have to do, but for her own protection, as has been pinted out.

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