Hi, my baby is now 2 and a half weeks old. I'm so glad he's here and enjoy caring for him but feel like I've reached a barrier in bonding with him. I had a difficult birth- he was a month premature, and i lost a lot of blood so I was pretty out of it when he was born and placed on my chest. I certainly didn't have that gushing with love moment that i had expected as my blood pressure fell dangerously low.
He then got taken away to nicu for a few hours.
I was very unwell those first few days and I barely remember them. I don't remember him returning or our first hug. I was wired up so not able to hold him properly.
I know rationally that this will have prevented my from bonding and so not to beat myself up too much. But I can't help but think something is wrong. I also have this underlying fear that he's not my baby. It's not even so much that I think he was swapped, but rather, when I hold him, I just don't feel like he's mine. It feels like we're looking after someone else's baby. It's horrible and makes me feel so sad. I know it's silly but an going to get a DNA test as I think it will reassure me.
Feeling blue.
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Not bonding as a mother- doesn't feel like my baby
32 replies
joeybrownbill · 20/07/2014 02:47
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