so my son has just fucked up his education ......again...

[NigellasDealer]

am so upset - son messed up at 2 secondary schools, had some home ed, went to a PRU and finally I found him a place on a 2 year 14 plus GCSE course at a localish FE coll. It was all good although a v long commute for him - now it seems he has failed the first year whch should have been a piece of piss for him but no he did not complete the required work.
so no entry onto the second year !! what should we do

God, that must be so worrying. I always empathise when I read threads like this, as I was so lazy at that age that I am very lucky it wasn't my parents writing this. What does your son want to do now? Is home schooling again an option?

Hmm. As he's under 16 then you do have a right to feedback and discussion with the college about how this can be handled: seems very harsh to just say "you're out", surely he could repeat the year or have some sort of situation analysis with them followed by a home-schooltype contract? It's in his and the FE college's interest to find a solution, surely.

What you haven't said is what your DS really feels about the situation, as if he is either "not bovvered" or actively unhappy about the setup, it will be very hard to engage them. Likewise if there's emotional stuff affecting his abolity to study/apply himself. What does he want here, or does he not really know himself?

Did the college not contact you during the year to say that things were going wrong? Is there a personal/form tutor you could contact to discuss? Sounds to me like the college is at fault here - surely with students of your DS's age they shouldn't just leave them to it and then say. "Sorry, you failed" at the end of the year. Do they do any summer holiday catch up courses which would enable him to progress to the second year?

You need to talk to his tutors . At 14/15 he isn't able to make a meaningful decision and the college get (fairly lucrative) funding based on his participation and success so should be motivated to sort it out. Why has this only become an issue now, so late in the year? Find out what he has failed , could he move to 2nd year and retake some units or should he retake whole year. Is he keeping up with the Maths and English ? Sometimes FE colleges work with local schools so students spend part of the week in one setting and part in another , is this an option to ensure he is being closely monitored.

Sounds as though his 'issues' are being caused by others attitudes and behaviours. Would home educating and putting him in for GCSEs as a private candidate be an option? At his age he could learn the stuff with basic guidance if he is able to take responsibility for his own learning and work independently most of the time, since everything he'd need would be online (I assume, haven't HE'd myself but am interested in it).

Either way, I hope you can get help with this. It is horrible to see your child's potential being wasted because of failures by the 'higher powers'.

and a hug Nigella . Single mum here too with a troubled/difficult DD. Don't beat yourself up, this is not your fault.

No real words of wisdom , as I've had similar with my child and struggle to know what to do myself. X

zzzzzzz you do not know the area I am talking about at all. yes that would happen.

What kind of accent does he have? [genuinely curious]

Do you work full time, or would Home Ed be possible - and then entering him for GCSEs. It sounds like formal environments of any kind just aren't going to work for him.

no there has been no communication at all from the college about this possibility.
should I email the course tutor and what should I say?

PRU's are very expensive pupil placements and not used lightly by most LEA's so must say I'm amazed how he got there for little to no reason as exclusion and all the admin and meetings that go with that would give you some pretty major clues as to how he wound up there , along with 2? other schools he has I presume been asked to leave? I think you need to really think about his behaviour and maybe ask for some help or a parenting teens course to get you both back on track.

he has a southern/London accent and we live very far from there.
he really did suffer with it at his last secondary, even from teachers.

How did he get on at Primary school? Have the difficulties arisen just since starting Secondary?

mellow you do not have to believe me but the other children at the PRU were chair throwers and serious tantrummers and no my son was not like that in fact the staff loved him for being cooperative and polite.
There was no reason for him to be there other than anti-english attitudes of the school

OK, this is going to 1. sound harsh, and 2. I will probably get flamed for suggesting such a thing....but why didn't you help your DS/ do the work for him so he could stay on the course?

I have been known to do my DCs homework when told if they didn't hand several pieces of work in by the morning they would be moved down a set.

Is he too young to do an nvq in something ?

I'd ask for a face to face meeting with the college . Does your son have any idea if what he would like to do?

I really feel for you both and can hear the desperation in your posts x

lynette if I could have I would have

I will look into it thank you doinmummy

OP there must be somebody who is overseeing his education. Email the college on Monday and ask to arrange a meeting urgently with the course tutor.

Sounds incredibly stressful and worrying for you.

Lynette I have done the same for my dd only when she's told me about it though. Half the time kids don't tell you what they have to do re homework.

OK, the accent thing is starting to make sense. Most teenagers would adapt their accent pretty damn quick to fit in at school with their peers (I know I did, although I reverted back to my accent when I left that school).

So it seems your DS is not trying to fit in with which ever setting he is in....hence why he was so well behaved in the PRU!

My DD has massive issues at secondary school and was threatened with PRU, but she came out in the end without being excluded(just) only got 3 gcses, however college took her , with a bit of begging, and she loves it and is doing well, i cant understand why they wont talk to you, both my daughters school and college will talk to me about her education and issues we all work together to support her, im a single parent but I think that's irrelevant really. Call the tutor and make a plan

Do you think home ed and igcse are an option?

Who has told you has failed ? I'd email the course tutor for clarification first then follow up with a meeting request as to his options if so. I don't think it is as simple as them refusing him entry onto the second year , they must be able to accommodate him somehow or suggest alternatives and he probably won't be the only one.