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Original poster

Think ds is bored bored BORED at nursery

46 replies

answercomestherenone · 30/05/2014 16:19

My 14 month old ds has just finished his nursery settling in and he is getting more upset not less at each session. When I arrived to pick him up at the last session he was sitting by himself tearful and looking utterly miserable. He brightened up as soon as I took him out of the baby room and happily walked up and down the corridor whilst I got our stuff together, and was interested in exploring a couple of open doors to utility rooms. When we got home all he wanted to do was walk up and down our lane (a favourite of his) rather than have his nap. Tbh I think he was just really bored at nursery. He does have a very short attention span and just likes walking about exploring things rather than sitting at one task for any time. The baby room he is in (for under two's) is pretty small and I think he is probably just bored of all it has to offer. I don't know what to do. The older kids rooms look a lot more interesting and the nursery does lots of good stuff with the older kids, but he has 10 months to go before he moves up. I managed to find another nursery which could offer me a place but didn't like it when I visited. I think maybe all the babies there are bored. As soon as I enter the room they all crowd around me as if they are glad for some new stimulation. I don't think the nursery staff are crap, just that they have a poor space for toddlers. Not sure what I am asking really, just venting. But if anyone does have suggestions I could make to the nursery I'd be very glad to hear them.

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KatyN · 30/05/2014 17:55

No idea about the bored but when I used to pick my son from the baby room all the other babies would rush up to me and gaze... It felt a bit like those little aliens in toy story and I imagined they were all saying 'you have been chosen, go on to a better place'.

Acunningruse · 30/05/2014 19:13

I think it isn't a great sign if when you walk in all the toddlers are more interested in you than anything else. when I/we pick my son up he doesn't want to leave! Are you getting feedback from nursery about what he has enjoyed playing with each session? Are they taking photos for his learning journey so you can see what activities he has participated in?

Original poster

answercomestherenone · 30/05/2014 19:36

KatyN it reminds me of toy story too!
Staff did say what he played with but he was clearly miserable when I picked him up. He does cry and get upset when he is bored. He looked bored and miserable. The thing is, he is at stage when all he wants is o walk about and explore new and interesting stuff. He bores of toys very quickly.

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ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 21:16

Do they spend alot of time outside? My ds is 17 months and his day starts outside, they have snack outside. Then inside for a play and then lunch, nap inside and outside again at 2 until pick up time.

They are out in all weathers, I picked ds up last week and he was stamping in a puddle, it was proper torrential rain but all the kids have full waterproof and snow clothing.

Outside space is so important when they have recently learnt to walk, the bumpy ground and small obstacles ( like the edge of the sandpit) are really useful to help them learn balance and confidence.

Jaffakake · 30/05/2014 21:59

I think you need to have a chat with his key worker.

Also ask to see all their paperwork about his development. It offers such a wonderful insight into what they get up to all day when you're not there. Ofsted require them to keep all this as it shows how the nursery are linking into the eyfs requirements. Any nursery worth their salt should be able to produce this at the drop of a hat. As his mum, this will give you a valuable insight into your suspicions or allay all your fears.

We get to see my ds paperwork a couple of times a year, or whenever we ask. Reading it always confirms our experience of him at home and demonstrates he acts just the same at nursery and is exceptionally happy in that environment.

Original poster

answercomestherenone · 31/05/2014 14:13

Thanks everyone. I am going to have a chat with the nursery I think. There is a problem I think just with the amount of space they have for the under two's. The do have a small grassed garden and take the children out every day, though I don't know how long for. The room is quite small too. He is my first so I never considered the baby room being small as a problem when we visited a year ago, I guess I thought baby equals not really mobile. The nursey will be great when he is older as the nursry is the only one around here with a level access ( for the two pluses) to a garden so the kids can come and go as they wish, and they take them to a woodland for forest play once a week when they are older too. It is just the baby section which I am worried about. Physically it just doesn't seem set up for what ds likes.
Jaffa they do give a little report each day of what he does so I will keep an eye on that.

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morethanpotatoprints · 31/05/2014 14:22

This is what most nurseries are like OP, that's why we decided against it.
I think they are fine if you need childcare but if not more often you can offer them far more at home.
It changes at pre school and maybe more activities will be available.

HygieneFreak · 31/05/2014 14:30

Why did you choose the nursery in the first place?

What made you think this nursery was best out of the others that you had viewed?

museumum · 31/05/2014 14:39

You say he's got 10mo still in the "baby room"? That sounds a long time. My DS's baby room is only up to confident walking, then there's the toddlers room, then tweenies room then pre-school. I wouldn't be happy with ds being in with the non walkers once he can run around.

Sparklingbrook · 31/05/2014 14:43

Do you think he would be better off with a childminder? It all sounds very sad.

Only1scoop · 31/05/2014 14:47

The babies are in seperate room only up to about 12 months at our nursery. Although ....even the baby room is always buzzing....

littlegreengloworm · 31/05/2014 14:51

I agree with sparkling. I would look for a more flexible environment like a childminder.

Mine brings ours for forest walks, to a farm, make believe games. Everyday is different. Look around. I think you know it's not right.

scottishmummy · 31/05/2014 14:55

No.this is not what all nurseries are like,this isn't an atypical experience.at all
My kids went ft from 6mth.it was spacious,lively,had garden.they loved it
Do consider look for another nursery,or get a plan how theyll maintain his interest

dont be derailed by teeth suckers explaining this proves why they'd never use nursery

Only1scoop · 31/05/2014 14:56

Does nursery have much going on? Are they taken on walks ....little trips out etc? Are they spending time out in all weathers?

Only1scoop · 31/05/2014 15:00

Agree dd nursery is amazing....

Not all nurseries are like you describe.

A trip out....Zumba....French class....baking ....painting....and that's just in the three days she has been this week....

They lead the play 90 percent of the time.

Original poster

answercomestherenone · 31/05/2014 15:27

The nursery has limited space so it is 0 to 2 years in that room as they don't have another room to separate them into a younger age group. All the kids have been toddlers in the 'baby room' when I was there.

We loved the nursery when we visited but in retrospect we were wooed by the older kids rooms, lovely cheerful rooms, continual outdoor access, great garden and outdoor play equipment, weekly woodland trips, gardening etc. The baby room is just not as good but we didn't really register that at the time, and w e didn't really know what he'd be like at this age when we chose nursery a year ago anyway.
I am visiting another nursery but waiting lists where I live are really long, so by time he would be offered a place he'll probably be out of baby room anyway. As I said upstream I did visit one nursery that could offer immediate place but did not like it.

I would rather nursery than childminder as I really want him to mix with a group of children his age as he is an only and I worry about him being lonely. So I am hoping he will make friends at nursery.
God this is all so crap.

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PourquoiPas · 31/05/2014 15:30

Hmmm, it's a tough one. On one hand, if DS is your first and is used to having his whole day tailored to what he enjoys with one to one attention then any nursery or childminder is going to be a big adjustment. My DC2 doesn't get to wander up and down the road inspecting weeds and puddles as DC1 did because DC1 and I would be bored witless (I out up with it for my PFB )

On the other hand, even if the room is not ideal there should be interesting, varied and stimulating activities on offer. I chose a nursery which was a bit more expensive but suited my children's more active personalities. They go outside twice a day in all weathers, they are encouraged to get muddy and play with sensory materials (DD spent an hour fishing small toys out of a paddling pool filled with jelly yesterday). There is no reason for a child to be left feeling sad and bored.

Have a look round some other nurseries, see if they give you a better feel.

scottishmummy · 31/05/2014 17:10

Its unlikely he'll be lonely.are you overthinking the only child thing?kids interact at nursery
So pragmatically you need a place,theres no other places locally.you like current place toddler facilities
Can you meet with keyworker/manager get a plan.activity schedule fir him.

Id say give it another 6-8wk see how he settle.i see youre saying this is new to him

CharlesRyder · 31/05/2014 17:55

I would say look for a great childminder and then reconsider the nursery when he is pre-school age.

My childminder went out and about in 'real' places constantly. To baby groups but also to the post office, grocers, park by her house, to the pond to feed the ducks.. all the things I would have been doing with DS at home. When they baked they went to the corner shop to buy the ingredients first, then took cakes to the childminder's mum's house in a basket. Just a more 'rounded' experience.

DS then started at pre-school at 3 and has thrived. He is an only too but has only benefited from his childminder years.

Original poster

answercomestherenone · 31/05/2014 18:01

I might be over thinking the loneliness thing scottishmummy. It is one of my 'buttons'. I have always hated the thought of people being lonely. The song Eleanor Rigby used to make me cry as a child and the projects I am most passionate about at work are those combatting loneliness, so I may be projecting my own issues onto ds!
Thanks Charles Ryder, I will give that some thought. I'll investigate the CM to see if that is an option and also talk to key worker to see what they can do and see how ds gets on over next few weeks.

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 31/05/2014 18:04

I think you need to look for a childminder.

I didn't send DS2 to a very well regarded nursery which leads on to a very well regarded prep school as all the DC looked up at us when we went into the different rooms. (Also they didn't have any dressing up, and DS2 loves to dress up).

The majority of children should be engrossed in an activity when you look round a setting, whether is be a baby room or a high school.

BertieBotts · 31/05/2014 18:10

14 month olds don't really register other babies as company, anyway. They look for the company of adults or possibly older children, although probably not children of nursery age.

The keyworkers should be doing stuff with them. I like the idea of asking enthusiastically when you pick him up what he's been up to today, it's not an out and out complaint but a bit of a hint that you want information, obviously if they can't give it to you that would be more worrying though!

Sparklingbrook · 31/05/2014 18:16

Maybe a childminder until he is old enough for the more interesting bits at Nursery?

scottishmummy · 31/05/2014 19:00

Good grief yes youre over thinking the only thing,hes not predetermined to be alone or bereft
Are you ok with nursery/childcare use or do you have misgivings generally?
Id give it time and stick with nursery,esp as you like the toddler provision

LynetteScavo · 31/05/2014 20:51

"When I arrived to pick him up at the last session he was sitting by himself tearful and looking utterly miserable."

How is this over thinking? I appreciate women need/want to go to work, but child care needs to be of a high standard. Parents accepting that children being unhappy while in childcare is not the way forward.

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