Think ds is bored bored BORED at nursery

[answercomestherenone]

My 14 month old ds has just finished his nursery settling in and he is getting more upset not less at each session. When I arrived to pick him up at the last session he was sitting by himself tearful and looking utterly miserable. He brightened up as soon as I took him out of the baby room and happily walked up and down the corridor whilst I got our stuff together, and was interested in exploring a couple of open doors to utility rooms. When we got home all he wanted to do was walk up and down our lane (a favourite of his) rather than have his nap. Tbh I think he was just really bored at nursery. He does have a very short attention span and just likes walking about exploring things rather than sitting at one task for any time. The baby room he is in (for under two's) is pretty small and I think he is probably just bored of all it has to offer. I don't know what to do. The older kids rooms look a lot more interesting and the nursery does lots of good stuff with the older kids, but he has 10 months to go before he moves up. I managed to find another nursery which could offer me a place but didn't like it when I visited. I think maybe all the babies there are bored. As soon as I enter the room they all crowd around me as if they are glad for some new stimulation. I don't think the nursery staff are crap, just that they have a poor space for toddlers. Not sure what I am asking really, just venting. But if anyone does have suggestions I could make to the nursery I'd be very glad to hear them.

I really think you should speak to his key worker at your earliest convenience next week. They should be making "observations" of him a few times a week, little pieces of writing about what he is doing at that particular moment in time. They tell you much more than you get on the little update sheet at the end of each day. Nursery staff want happy kids as they're much easier to deal with and make their working life fun. I think this chat will make whatever plan of action you need to put in place have more perspective.

It could be he needs more time to settle, it could be the nursery need to have a plan of action for him to enjoy his time there or perhaps the whole thing needs rethinking. But without talking to them first I think you're stabbing in the dark a bit.

Read the thread and keep up before you pile in getting wrong end stick
Op and i had discussed how she feels her son being an only,she used Eleanor Rigby metaphor
She then reflected yes her son being an only pushed her buttons,i encouraged don't overthink it

I've read the thread.

I don't think the OP is over thinking.

I think she's desperately trying to reasure herself. We all want to think our DC are happy in childcare. Waiting 6-8 weeks is a very long time in the life of a 14 month old.

I think the OP needs to address this asap.

So despite apparently reading you've chosen to misinterpret my response
She is overthinking the Eleanor rugby lonely,and the worry hes an only
That was my dont over think it response.other points i adequately addressed

OP, how long is your DS in nursery for? I've noticed even the happiest babies, in the very best of settings start to miss their parent after 8 hours.

I don't think you're overthinking it. Based on what you've said, I wouldn't hesitate to look for alternative childcare. There are some amazing nurseries - DS's is 'freeflow' so all children are allowed wherever they like, whenever they like. I still worry about him getting enough one to one attention though and part of me thinks a childminder works best for under 2s.

Really?mine dd 8hour day no reported or observed issues.is this anecdote opinion

In fact my kids did a 10hr day, mon-fri 8-6.i didn't read the over 8hour research

At the end of the day I think you need to go with your gut. I agree with scottishmummy that you maybe need to try harder to identify your hang ups and work out what is actually happening over a few weeks.

But then, if your gut still says no then make other arrangements. They could be taking him to the zoo daily but if your instinct is that he is not happy then neither will you be

Would you like a link to the reaseach scottishmummy

1. This thread is not about you. Or your DD or how much she loved her nursery. I initially posted with the OP, and her DS in mind. I apologise for getting caught up in your personal conversation with the OP by mentioning the over thinking.

Personally I do not think she is over thinking.

1. I posted "I have noticed" because I have noticed...after working in childcare for a long time. Yes, it's opinion based on what I've , yes it's anecdotal, and no I have no link. Maybe you have areas in your professional life?

It would be nice if we all could stick our heads in the sand and say all children are happy in any type of childcare all of the time, but this is not how we will achieve excellent childcare for all children everywhere, and piece of mind for all parents who use childcare.

Make a plan op.but id still suggest give current place a go.see how you both settle
How easy it where yiu are to locate any alternative?what's wait list of alternative
Presumably youlll maintain thus place as you need it,til you get another.if that what you chose

Indeed,its the thread.however we all naturally have a bias.such as your 8hr too long
No thread is an impartial foray through opinion.its subjective,its loaded,its online
And the op is at liberty to pick bits she likes and discount bits she no like

Scottishmummy, I would rather be a stay at home mum and have ds go to some sort of nursery type thing, perhaps for mornings, when he is older but that is not an option for us. I had though thought that nursery would be fun and being with the same group of kids would be good for ds but am now worried the sameness of the environment will be very boring for him and make him upset. I'm also concerned that when I last picked him up he was clearly upset and tearful but no worker was with him and comforting him. Though I suppose one worker was sitting near him and near another child. Maybe If he was miserable the whole morning she couldn't comfort him the whole time? Thing is, I don't have a lot of context of how nurseries operate to know what is good and bad practice.

Are there many other nurseries locally answer? Maybe you could have a look round just to get a comparison?

You have apparently no idea what he is up to all day. Ask for them to take some photos of his next session so you can see what he's up to.

If you come to pick him up and he looks alone and miserable but they show you photos of him happily doing interesting stuff the rest of the time then you'll know he's fine.

I don't have no idea noble, they say things like he liked the activity centre, sharing books, the soft play area. But he has so far had three settling sessions (starts proper sessions next week) and they have reported him getting more unhappy at each. I also suspect the things they said he I'd don't entertain him for long as they don't with me. He likes wandering and exploring best.
Photos are a good idea and I never got a written report last time just a verbal. I think I am meant to get a written note so will ask about that.
Ach, I may be over thinking and worry worting the whole thing. Maybe when I chat with the staff they will help him to settle fine. Once his concentration develops a bit that should help anyway.

Sparkling, I am visiting another local nursery on Monday, but waiting lists are long.

You aren't overthinking answer. You just want for everything to be right for you and DS.

Shame about the waiting lists but at least a look round a different Nursery will give you another view.

Wow, I actually failed to read my own thread properly! I didn't notice at first all the posts upstream but just thought the last two were new! Thanks Everyone for all your views and advice. It is hard putting dc in nursery I think. It is a huge trust issue for a start. Very hard to walk away hen little one is crying and alarmed to see you go and outstretched both arms and then looks miserable and tearful when you return. Lynette, he has just done mornings so far and will will do one full day and one half day a week in June moving to three full days in July.
I will talk to nursery about my concerns and also visit nursery Monday and look into childminders. And buy lottery tickets :)

I'd def look at other nurseries or childminders to see if they would suit him better. It can be difficult to get past your own feelings about putting your child in nursery but it does sound like it's not working for him.

My DS went to nursery from 8 months old. His had lots of small rooms so he moved at 14 months to the 1st toddler room and this was perfect for him. Lots more stimulation and things to do and they spent ages outside. Other places had 0-2 rooms like you describe and that really wouldn't have given him enough to do - fine when they're babies but not once they're toddling.

Def think about a childminder. They go out and about and the routine can be changed depending on their mood etc. I always thought I'd go for the stimulation of nursery but after trying one I realised they are not always stimulating at all. Most childminders take them to a playgroup everyday, go on walks, go on shopping adventures, have garden equipment, take them to the park.....my CM sends me pics throughout the day - I am so envious I want to go too!!