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Parenting

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Original poster

I have just heard the most unbelievable converstion - bad language included!

53 replies

SecurMummy · 28/08/2006 18:51

I have just heard this conversation from a family going past out house - it has really upset me for the lad involved

I am going to leave the language in as I think it is quite a relevent part of the converstion - and there wouldn't be many words left without it!

Dad, I can't ride this bike it goes to slow.
change fxxxing gear then
I can't they are stuck
just put your fxxxin legs into it
I am but it is really stiff
why you have to fxxxing spoil everything you little dick
I'm not I can't make it go faster
get on it and get going dick
I can't my legs hurt making it go
you're an fxxing mary your sister can ride it
I know that is why she goes slow dad
fxxing get in front you dick you have spoilt our trip out again your a fxxing mary we're all going home
can't we just walk dad
No we fxxing can't just cause your brother is a dick were off home

I feel so sorry for them I estimate the lad was around 7yo.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

SecurMummy · 28/08/2006 21:37

I have one of those, need to set the world to rights feelings. How do we spread the word that this stuff is out of order....

Oh heck I am coming over all dictator again

OP posts:

WestCountryLass · 28/08/2006 22:25

No excuses Blossomhill, it's never "right" to speak to your kids like this.

CurrantBun · 29/08/2006 13:25

Unfortunately these are invariably the kinds of people who breed like rabbits yet don't deserve to have kids. Complete low-life trash.

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General parenting

KathyMCMLXXII · 29/08/2006 13:31

I hear this sort of thing on the train all the time. (A couple of weeks ago a perfectly behaved child of about 3 or 4 was commenting to his mother as we were going through a tunnel that it was very dark, and she replied, 'You're going to get a smack if you don't shut up.') It upsets me so much and I want to rescue the children and take them away and be nice to them.
(So if you ever hear about a woman abducting a child on a train it will probably be me )

Jackstini · 29/08/2006 13:32

Brought tears to my eyes SM - what kind of message is that poor little boy going to grow up with
It's a horrible feeling though when you really want to say something but daren't either for your own fear or that the child will get the brunt anyway

TitianRed · 29/08/2006 13:34

Poor little boy. That man doesn't deserve to be a father.
BTW 'SuperNanny' tonight apparently has a Mum, Dad and (unsurprisingly) children who swear like troopers. Worth a watch.

Wordsmith · 29/08/2006 13:36

when ds1 was litle we went to a park in birmingham and heard a mum tell her appx 1 yr old "get a move on you f*ing mong" . what doubly shocked me and dh was that she didn't seem ashamed to say it only a couple of metres away from other parents and children!

malteser1 · 29/08/2006 18:55

Sadly I hear parents talk to their children like this all the time in my line of work and I can never bite my tongue and always comment about their cruel use of language. It is so true that the majority of people are the product of their parents. I'm now meeting teenagers with babies speaking to them like the horrible examples given. And I can remember visiting them a few years ago and hearing them being spoken to like that by their parents.
Domestic abuse against spouses is defined as being physical, emotional, mental financial or spiritual abuse. When are those people who define and decide what child abuse is going to wake up and realise that child abuse should be defined better too.
How many people have posted that they as adults are still feeling the effects of having been constantly spoken to cruelly by their own parents when they were children? Sorry to rant but I agree with all the mums out there who just want to take the children out of that situation. And what would happen if you tried to step in or spoke up against those people? You'd either get a mouthful of abuse or assaulted.

Original poster

SecurMummy · 29/08/2006 19:32

The thing is, as you say it is self perpetuting because the people in the situation are not able to realise that it is wrong (or at least apart from the lucky few) therefore they repeat. It is like the full stop campaingn. All it needs is for every young person out there to say "not on my watch" and suddenley it stops. Once parents are not doing it to children children will not do it to grandchildren....or at least that is my theory!

The question then is how to get across to younger generations that this has to stop, that this wrong...perhaps bringing back parenting classes in school (for both sexes off course)...any ideas anyone?

OP posts:

scotchick · 29/08/2006 19:41

Very distressing. One of the reasons I can't watch programmes like Supernanny and Little Angels. The way some parents treat their children is too upsetting. I mean I shout sometimes and always regret it, but have never sworn at them or insinuated that they are worthless. These programmes are so sad because the children are almost lost souls. Ok, sometimes at the end of the programme there might be some improvement but after the cameras are gone, and a couple of weeks have passed, it'll go back to the way it was and we'll all forget about them til the next dysfunctional family comes along for us to watch.

AllieBongo · 29/08/2006 19:49

he should be shot the toss piece

rabbitrabbit · 29/08/2006 19:56

This makes me so sad and angry

I don't know if I've just become more aware of this type of behaviour since having ds but I am beginning to lose hope over the way some people treat children. They seem to be the last group we can abuse at will without fear of being punished (it seems). It makes me so sad.
I hear things on the news and sit there sometimes thinking "there must be something we can do about this"
Sorry, had a bit of a rant there

fattiemumma · 29/08/2006 19:59

I was in Asda earlier and there was a family..mum, dad and two boys of about 5 &9.

the mum and dad were walking around chatting away complelty ignoring the two boys.
they knocked a load of tins off a shelf, knocked into various people, were swinging around the trolley etc etc.

anyway the mum and dad were just carrying on regardless other than the odd "will you stop you little B***D" "keep that up and i'll give you a clump"

well the eldest boy was pushing the trolley that was very full, younger boy was hanging onto the side. running up and down the aisle....then the whole trolley flips up and is literally on top of the younger boy.

my heart was in my mouth, i ran over to help lift the trolley (which was incredibly heavy) off of the lad, i was really worried it may have broken his leg. thankfully he got up so seemed ok but clealry in pain and crying.

Mum and dad continue to shop along the aisle!! don't even look up. when the odler lad runs and tries to tell them what happened mum says " i dont want to F**King hear it" he tries again to tell her "i said i don't want to hear it" the poor lad just waks back to the trolley.

No thanks to me for potentially preventing their son from being seriously injured, no attempts to see if he is ok....just carried on as if nothig had happened.

some people do not deseve to have children.

Joolstoo · 29/08/2006 20:03

only one fxxking dick in that story

poppiesinaline · 29/08/2006 20:23

these stories are so . I know kids can make you cross sometimes and some days you can feel like its all too much but there is no excuse for treating children this way. Its bullying and bordering on abuse I think. It makes me very very sad.

PanicPants · 29/08/2006 20:29

Thats so sad, that poor child. How can he grow up feeling secure and loved in an environment where he's treated like that

drosophila · 29/08/2006 20:37

My mother was like this but now looking back at it she was probably suffering postnatal depression. Doesn't change my low self esteem but I try to undertand. BTW she probably wasn't as bad as this man but we spent our whole lives being told we were 'useless' and look wht she had to put up with when X and Y are such fantastic daughters.

Salamander · 31/08/2006 09:58

What a sad and disgusting tale

Horrible potential there for the little boy turning into his dad as well - so frustrating and sickening

Original poster

SecurMummy · 06/09/2006 09:10

FM, I am so shocked at your story, that poor boy! What if he had internal injuries? how would they know if something went wrong later?

I continue to be angry and distressed by the amasing level of idiot out there

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 06/09/2006 09:22

I think it's far too simplistic just to say "evil man".

But I don't know what the answer is

harpsichordcarrier · 06/09/2006 09:30

well I think one thing to do is express our feelings to the person involved.
I think it is worth - as a community - standing up to bullying, vile parents.
If it is possible, by saying something, or at least letting the parent and child know they are being observed.
I know it is not always possible, but I think that parents like this should know their behaviour is wrong and children should know they are supported.
by the way, I know that this is not always possible for people to do.
I also know that I am bound to get flamed for saying this, and told I am judgemental and that I don't always know what is going on with the family and it isn't my business. I got my arse kicked about it on a previous thread.
I still think it's true, though.

MrsMuddle · 06/09/2006 09:56

I agree with you in theory, HC, but with complete strangers, I'm not sure I would be able to say something without sounding like a shrill hysterical harpie. And then there's the risk that they would turn on you and your DCs. If that happened, I'd probably burst into tears and nobody would be any better off. What would you say, and how would you say it?

kimi · 06/09/2006 10:09

AHHH the vicky pollard/little britain.
Thing is far too many people behave like this as they no no better and their children will grow up to think its the norm and it just goes on and on, funny old world where you need a licence to drive a car or have a T.V, but any old low life can have kids weather they are fit to or not.

harpsichordcarrier · 06/09/2006 11:43

MrsMuddle I am hesitant to get into this argument again.
If I see a parent who is clearly losing it with her child I will sometimes say to her "are you alright?" or is everything OK? or something like that.
obviously you would have be careful about how you spoke to them.
sometimes if the person is acting in an edgy/ aggressive way, I will stand and use body language to indicate that I am watching and paying attention to them. For example, at my sisters house the other day there was a mother laying into her son outside the gate and I walked outside on a pretext and stood right by where she was and started a conversation with her.
I have never been in a fight yet in my entire life I had some training years ago from the police about how to defuse difficult situations. but a lot of it is about just being present and involved.
I know many people will say it is none of my business and they are possibly right.

Sobernow · 06/09/2006 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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