When to pierce your child's ears?

[PrincessBabyCat]

If you have kids with pierced ears when did you pierce them? Did it cause any problems?

We want to pierce our baby's ears maybe at 4 months so she doesn't play with the earrings and cause an infection, and has had a couple rounds of vaccines.

Doctors have recommended waiting until at least a month, but it might be difficult if she can't hold her head up. We're currently playing with the pros and cons of when to do it. I had them done at 4 years old but I kept fidgeting with them and it caused some problems, my cousins that did it at 6 months were all fine.

I'm not particularly interested in a moral debate on this, more a practical weigh in. Thanks. :)

oh yes that happy reminder that my parents decided to hole-punch my earlobes and hang tacky crap off them,

oh yes, earrings are very much needed for a happy childhood filled with happy memories!

I don't personally feel in anyway conflicted by the level of pain related to ear piercing. It's brief, minimal, not memorable

How convenient when it's not you having pain inflicted on you for no reason, mamapain.

pancakes, but you didn't post on Mumsnet about it, did you?

The OP did, hence the flaming.

I'd think a teenager would be far more appreciative of a diamond than a 5 year old who won't have a clue of the value.

Diamond earrings as a happy memory? Nope, not shallow at all

Diamond earrings for a five year old = happy childhood? Is this a wind up?

Culture and heritage go way beyond pierced ears. Your dd has your heritage and her father's heritage. Neither needs to take precedence, or be forced upon her while she is a tiny baby.

Wait for her to express a preference for pierced ears, you might be surprised to find she doesn't actually care!

I had my ears pierced as a baby, as I said my nan did it. I'm grateful, I don't feel violated or distressed by it. If I ask my teen DD how she feels about having her ears pierced she always says at least it saved her the bother.

You don't want to pierce your child's ears, fine, I am in no way encouraging you.

My Spanish friend had her ears pierced as a newborn IN THE HOSPITAL. Yup. She moved - as babies do - and they slit her ear which is still there to this day (35 years later). Although it is part of her 'cultural' tradition, she refuses to get her baby's ears pierced firstly because of her own bad experience but secondly because she does not want to inflict unnecessary pain on her dd. Tradition changes when people realise it's just not right...

Rhonda nope i did not. Didnt know about mumsnet then!! (Grin)

When your family values dressing up, and you get something that allows you to wear something that's considered extremely nice for a special occasion, yes it's a big deal for a kid to get a "grown up" thing (instead of cute heart or teddy bear earrings. Yes, I did know the value, it was explained to me, I took excellent care of them, still wear them on special occasions, and will be passing them down to my daughter, who will also have their value explained.

And... Building sandcastles, running in parks, and having a good childhood are still doable with earrings just so you know.

If you were a baby at the time, mamapain, I doubt you would have known what feeling violated was.

But I would bet you felt distress at the time.

You are not encouraging people, true, but you are justifying inflicting pain on a baby for no reason by saying you don't personally feel conflicted about the pain. So basically, it doesn't affect you, so you don't have a problem with it . Lovely.

Babies are beautiful, gorgeous, shiny new human beings. Why do they need the adornments of icky baubles?

Princess do you mind me asking what culture you are referring to? I'm genuinely interested btw but fair enough if you don't want to say!

"I don't believe in ' it's a cultural thing'. It's horrible and tacky"

Hee Hee. You do realise 'tacky' is a totally subjective cultural judgement

I'm just galled by the idea of looking at your beautiful brand-new child and thinking "you know what she needs? earrings!"

I mean FFS. Again, what's wrong with beautiful little baby ears?? What possesses people to punch actual HOLES in them? It's foul.

PrincessBabyCat - you can have something that allows you to wear something that's considered extremely nice for a special occasion without having pain inflicted on you - just so you know.
What would be wrong with having those same diamond earrings for a 16th, 18th or 21st birthday?

I'll let my daughter get them done when she can ask for them ...which ain't happening anytime soon as she's only 9 months !!

One problem with having a baby's ears pierced, is that, at school, they will have to remove them for PE lessons. I know someone who pierced her DD's ears as a baby, and they then closed up, because she couldnt wear them into school on games days, and I think the whole thing became too much of a faff.

OTOH, I wasn't allowed to have mine pierced until I was 16, and I hated being different to everyone else at school (not just this one thing, though).

I wouldnt be proud to belong to or condone a culture that involves intentionally hurting children. Dont you ever question why that needs to happen OP? Couldnt you give her clip on earrings? Or a ring or necklace/bracelet? What is this insistence on causing pain in order to continue a culture?

13 + 14, together, at a good independent jewelers on holiday in Scotland. They were both the last of their year groups (apert from girls whose parwnts had said flat out 'no' ...who will go and get theirs done when 16.)

Q Well, in that case, why don't you ask him what age is culturally identified as the most appropriate?

A Because if we went by that, she would have had them done at a day old or the first doctor visit

Ok, so actually it's not really to do with culture, it's more about parental choice.

In which case it's not possible to answer your question because everyone will have a different opinion.

But thats the thing though...culture...the british think its abhorrent and abuse......in Spain for example (as its a country that has been mentioned) ITS THE NORM!!. Dosent make it right or wrong its just different. Views are different. yourbeingasillybilly you wouldnt be proud or condone anothe culture that thought it was ok. You wouldnt know any bloody different!!! Just as you belong to one now and dont agree with it.

I don't care whether you want a moral debate or not OP. You asked a question and my answer is piercing the ears of a baby is abusive. I don't care how many diamond earrings and uncles keen to buy them you have. Only a selfish, self obsessed parent would willingly cause her baby pain and expose her to the risk of a serious infection in the name of 'culture' and appearance. Grow some balls and take care of your child.