When to pierce your child's ears?

[PrincessBabyCat]

If you have kids with pierced ears when did you pierce them? Did it cause any problems?

We want to pierce our baby's ears maybe at 4 months so she doesn't play with the earrings and cause an infection, and has had a couple rounds of vaccines.

Doctors have recommended waiting until at least a month, but it might be difficult if she can't hold her head up. We're currently playing with the pros and cons of when to do it. I had them done at 4 years old but I kept fidgeting with them and it caused some problems, my cousins that did it at 6 months were all fine.

I'm not particularly interested in a moral debate on this, more a practical weigh in. Thanks. :)

@Sparklingbrook: No. I joined fairly recently. Lesson learned. :)

Cultural reason: It's just what's done? Why do people circumcise babies when there's no real benefits? If they're babies they won't pull and tug on the earrings, but when they get older they will. It's safe when they're babies in that respect.

But the earrings will still be there to tug and pull when older. Wait til they are old enough to know not too

Safer still not to do it at all.

I think that we need to recognise that if we get our childrens ears done, we are doing it for ourselves, not for them. They clearly can't express an opinion on it. Likewise, we dress them to please ourselves rather than them.

As I said before, none of the girls in my daughters year at school have theirs done. It is not the done thing in our group, and is probably seen as chavvy. However, I don't see it as an immoral choice, just one of taste. It might cause a moment of pain, which could clearly be avoided by not doing it, but in terms of causing lasting damage, akin to FGM I would disagree. If later in life girls don't want holes, they can let them close up. The worst effect I can see, is that some people think they look a but daft, and that isn't a big issue.

So OP, if you want to do it then do. If it is to your taste and you will enjoy it then fine. Your DD won't be ruined by it. Equally, if you let her wait, she can choose for herself. Other people's choices on this are not a big deal in my book, even if they are not the same as the ones I make.

What on earth is wrong with normal, unpierced earlobes? I despair of this obsession with making females as ornamental as possible even as infants. How can people think this is a good idea?

I mean FFS. Can she not have a few years of life where she just has her own natural, unaltered body to enjoy? Surely she'll have her whole life to alter herself to fit other people's expectations.

I cringe when I see babies with pierced ears. It just screams "I need to get this kid to conform to gender norms ASAP!". And "Who cares about her bodily integrity! Culture is way more important!" Ugh.

And I think you did know you would open a can of worms

I expected mixed views. Not 3 pages of everyone freaking out.

Wowsers you want to make this an circumcision thread as well as an ear piercing for babies thread?

Erm, good luck with that.

Nah you knew exactly what you were doing.

I am absolutely not missing that point at all. I'm very aware that ear piercing is not a necessity. This is why I said, for the majority of people I know because I know of one person! my second cousin who had her ears pierced as a baby but now chooses not to wear earrings and so the holes have closed up.

However I also know in my experience, the majority of girls will want their ears pierced and as all the girls in my family have their ears pierced it's going to come up.

Closed holes may leave scar tissue and are barely if at all noticeable so there isn't really any reason not to pierce them and decided not to use the piercings later.

I expected mixed views. Not 3 pages of everyone freaking out.

Mixed views on whether to get holes punched in your baby's ears for no reason at all?

Really?

There is a reason MamaPain, it's called not intentionally hurting your child.

It's bad enough taking your child to have a vaccination

Sorry - what I meant was - it's bad enough how you feel having to take you child for a vaccination and hearing them cry for something which is necessary. Wasn't very clear - I didn't mean vaccinations are not necessary

You should get her nose and eyebrow pierced instead aswell. Just to get it all out of the way before she can fiddle with them.

For my husband it's a cultural thing

Well, in that case, why don't you ask him what age is culturally identified as the most appropriate? Duh.

We'll I canter ally be bothered to argue about it, I'm not advocating that other people pierce their children's ears, more that if OP wants to do that, it is what I found to be a convenient age.

I can't get her up about 'intentionally hurting my child' in relation to ear piercing, I've seen more tears at the same age over me saying no more biscuits or wrestling them into the car seat. But then I'm obviously stone hearted as I've never felt bad or guilty taking them for a vaccination.

I love the way you introduced circumcision to the mix there OP, don't pretend you don't know how this thread will go

Sorry that post is riddled with typos. Hopefully you can understand my point. As I said I'm not interested in arguing about it, I was hoping for a relaxing bit of mn, not a moral debate over earrings.

4 month old babies don't cry if you won't give them a biscuit.

mamapain, you are being disingenuous if you think choosing to inflict pain on a baby for no reason at all is not a moral issue.

Great NN, btw.

Well, in that case, why don't you ask him what age is culturally identified as the most appropriate? Duh.

Because if we went by that, she would have had them done at a day old or the first doctor visit. I'm not doing it before vaccines are done unless it can be done at the doctor's office (who's policy is 1 month). Her one month is coming up which is why we're discussing this. I would personally rather wait until she can hold her head up, because that's how my cousins did it and they were just fine.

It was just a pretty big deal for me to get a pair of diamond earrings from my uncle on my 5th or 6th birthday. I want her to have those same sort of happy memories growing up, without feeling left out. You guys may not agree with it. But she is bicultural/biracial and I don't want her to grow up feeling excluded from one half of her heritage.

Ahhhhh the mumsnet flaming for piercing ears. Well I for one shall be going against the grain for this. OP my daughters ears were pierced when she was 5 months old. They healed very quickly, she now is a nursery and wears studs (18 carat ones as more gold content that 9). She likes them, they are no bother to her, she dosent fiddle with them. To those who find them tacky/a villanous thing to do..that is their opinion. Just as you have yours and I have mine. I couldnt give a rats arse about what anyone says to me regarding it. In fact when I took her, a fellow who introduced (and i say that with jest) himself to me, as a paediatritian; told me that i was a disgrace to human society getting such a thing done to my child etc. Good luck with your decicion be it in a few months or when your child is able to decide for herself, (said with sarcasm: however you also must give permission when she is under a certain age, so therefore is shewas 8 for example you would still be regarded as allowing her to mutilate herself, disgraceful.)off to make a cup of tea and look on.

Diamond earrings on a 5th or 6th birthday being a happy memory? Eeek! A happy memory is a picnic in the park, or building sandcastles on the beach

Of course four month olds don't cry over that but the 9/10 months olds I've been talking about do.

Maybe it is a moral issue for some but I don't personally feel in anyway conflicted by the level of pain related to ear piercing. It's brief, minimal, not memorable and I don't think for my youngest DD even caused tears.

Another vote for don't do it.

I actually think piercing young babies and younger children's ears should be illegal. Why not wait until they are old enough to make the decision for themselves? Why the rush?

It's cruel and unnecessary.