Downstairs neighbours baby cries so much I' m starting to worry

[whataboutbob]

He' s about 15 months old. Often seems to cry inconsolably. Only child,parents work shifts and alternate looking after him so must be tired themselves. I 've noticed they never seem to take him out and my suspicion is he is severely bored. I have thought of contacting the local health visitors. Or alternatively, telling the mum about local toddler groups. WWYD?

I would talk to local health visitor services but they may refer you to social services.

Why not offer to help them? Babysitting or fetching shopping or cooking a meal?

At 15 months the child shouldn't be crying all the time IMO unless hungry/tired/bored which a parent would fix.

I have a 15 month old and have friends who do and they don't cry all the time

Its hard to tell if you are making a moutain out of a molehill or not. Prehaps try and get to know them, see if youcan help?

Could be teething? I worry what my neighbours think sometimes I must admit. But I do go out with my ds practically every day - lo and behold he stops crying the minute we step out the door.

My 15 month old cries and screams a lot. He is week stimulated and has lots of company, but he has no volume control. His separation anxiety is pretty bad too. I would definitely chat to tgem about local toddler groups - I'd go crazy if I was cooped up with mine all day!

Some 15 month olds do that. That may be why the don't take him out. What do the family seem like? Are there any red flags?

Second what Knights says. Are there any other red flags?

I'm not sure if it is cause for worry or not, but just wanted to share my experience of my DS. From before he was one, he was a screamer, everything he wanted he screamed for, and if his sister took something away that he wanted all hell broke loose! He is now 5 and still has absolutely no volume control! When DS was 13 months the police come round because someone had reported us to them, because they had heard screaming on two consecutive days. The police found nothing amiss and closed the case, but it left me feel paranoid for a long time afterwards. I still worry what people think of my parenting because DS still screams/cries when he gets told off/something happens he doesn't like. IME screaming can be normal at 15 months, and in fact my DD started toddler tantrums from around 18 months (proper on the floor screaming 'fits') so if this child is a bit older than 15 months, could toddler tantrums also be to blame?

Thanks everyone for your views. There are no other obvious red flags- i don't for instance have any reason to think there's substance abuse/ alcoholism/ domestic violence going on. can't hear him being smacked etc. They don't turn the TV on really loud, or anything like that. Deep down I think my problem is I believe kids need stimulation, a close third after love, and physcial needs being met. I just can't see how he's getting much of that as i have, honestly in the 15 months they've lived there, seen him out once only, in a papoose. He looked very alert and excited. Granted I am out most days at work, but on days when I'm in, it's kind of obvious he's indoors all day. I think possibly his parents are hard pressed, they work shifts and relay each other so are basically always working or caring for him. Many couples probably do this to save on childcare costs, but I can't help thinking that in term's of the child's development, there's a price to pay somewhere.
I will try and speak to the mum and mention toddler groups in the area, and other free/ cheap activities he could participate in.
BHBQ I hope your boy finds his volume control button soon! When i was a kid, my dad had explosive rages and the police was called, it went all the way back to my school. Not that anything was done beyond that. Knowing him, probably everybody in the family was embarrassed except him!

You interfere when you think a kid is being abused.. you don't poke your nose in because you think it's bored.. especially as you're out a lot yourself.

I am retracting my original post. If you are rarely in, you have no right to comment on other people.

Keep your nose out. My girls are 3 and 2 and my 2 year old screams a lot. Yes it must be annoying for the neighbours but I'm doing the best I can.

As for being bored because they never go out are you stood by the window 24/7? Do you KNOW the child never leaves the house?

At the moment due to a difficult pregnancy it would seem to an outsider that my girls never go out, it doesn't mean tey are bored. We read books, draw, play with play dough, watch dvd's play with the mountains of toys they have in their play room. There are lots more ways to entertain a child than toddler groups ffs, IMO toddler groups are the work of the devil and should be avoided at all costs.

Think the OP is getting a lot of harsh words here. She is concerened for a child and you call her a curtain twitcher and tell her to keep her nose out? Nice.
I think if anyone has ANY concerns about a 15 month old then they should do something, even if it just offer a couole.of hours babysitting or an invite for a coffee or something.
I think you sound a decent person OP and I am glad you care.

My ds is 8 months and I've been having mobility and severe pain issues since before he was born till now, and sometimes don't get out or a good few days, in the winter didn't get out a lot. It worried me, people might be curtain twitching and judging me for not taking him out,as when I'm fine I look like there is nothing wrong with me.
Great to think people are

Dopy, she has said she doesn't have any concern for his welfare ie there's no abuse going on, just that his parents don't seem to take him out an awful lot, he's a screamer and therefore must be bored.

Some children scream. It's what they do and you can't stop it, no amoun of entertaining will change that.

My ds is 15 months old and we know lots of babies who are around the same age. From the babies I know I would say crying that much isn't normal, tantrums, tears whilst getting dressed/nappy changed shouting when they want something but not constant crying. At 15 months most children can communicate their needs in ways other than constant crying, ds goes and gets his shoes and bangs on tge front door when he is boredwith being at home.

My sample group of babies is fairly small and it is mostly babies we see at toddler groups or nursery maybe the screamers don't get taken out so much.

I would treat the the crying in the same way as if it was an adult crying for that amount of time, a child's tears shouldn't be less important than an adult's tears.

Maybe pop round and mention you have heard lots of crying and you just wanted to check that everything is ok.

Our NDN are very similar. They never ever take their 15 m old out and I am home all day. I don't think it's normal and I feel for the baby.
But what can you do?

When did society turn into this 'I must report' school of thought. If you're worried, knock on the door invite them for tea and offer to take the kid to the park for a bit.

Get involved and help. Then if something really bad is going on you'll find out but if it's just an overwhelmed family you could be their lifeline. Most likely they'll be friendly but you'll realise they just have different parenting to you. You might not agree but it might be their way.

My neighbours who work never see me. When they leave for work I'm doing the breakfast routine. When they get back I'm doing the bedtime / tea routine. I go out everyday but to them my car is always in the drive.

My toddler will have a tantrum over anything and has been this way from about 18 months and is so so loud and it can go on for a long time. If two things in a row happen it could go on and on.

Equally if we go out he feasibly might have that tantrum outside and then I will be dealing with with looks etc, people interfering. Sometimes it is easier to contain him.

I think if you have no other concerns then you should stay out of it. It isn't your place to decide whether their DC should be entertained at home or not.

Just t clarify. I work 4 days a week. That's 3 days a week plus holidays when i'm around. There are neighbours on the other side whom I frequently see on the doorstep,down the street, in the garden with their toddler. The downstairs Neighbours,once in a year. That does not seem right to me. I don't want to call SS or the police. Neither do I want to close my eyes and heart to a kid who is possibly having his needs neglected.