I must be such a shit mum. My baby is never happy.

[Slh122]

Have a 10 week old baby who has cried from day 1, pretty much constantly. He's EBF, I feed him on demand, I offer him a feed everytime he's upset, I've tried a dummy which sometimes works, he's got a vibrating bouncy chair, tried the playmat, the sling doesn't work and he stops crying and goes to sleep in the pram or car but wakes up as soon as we get home.
He cries so much and refuses to sleep in the day. Thankfully he sleeps about 6-7 hours during the night but it's an absolute nightmare to get him to go to sleep. He screams until he eventually falls asleep.
He gets overtired in the day but won't sleep bar being in the pram or car seat and obviously I can't take him out all day everyday. Went out for Mother's Day yesterday for a meal and he screamed blue murder. Whenever my family see him they comment on what an unhappy baby is.
I've had 2 and a half months of constant crying no matter what I do and I'm not sure how much more I can take. I feel depressed and like crying all the time because he cries so much. I try my best and I feel like he hates me and I must be such a rubbish mum.

OP my baby is 6 weeks old and I could pretty much write the same post as you word for word. If he isn't feeding or sleeping he's crying. Infacol helped but after a few days his crying startd again. I'm now going to try Gripe Water. I thought he might have silent reflux but was dismissed by the GP and HV with the usual "new babies cry, that's just what they do." I took him to the osteopath and they said he was th healthiest baby they'd seen all day and couldn't find anything wrong with him apart from some tightness in his neck.

I knew having a baby wouldn't be easy but I wasn't expecting this.

So much good advice here. Think it's all already been said. But you are NOT a bad mum. You wouldn't be posting asking for help if you were. I've been in a similar situation and it does get better, I promise. I wish I had thought of putting headphones in while I was walking my screaming DD round as think it would have really helped me stay sane!

Have you looked at your own diet if baby is EBF? My DS had a bit of colic in the early weeks and it turned out he was sensitive to certain foods in my vegetarian diet! I did a bit of research and cut out some foods and it seemed to help.

Hang in there. X

Your baby doesn't hate you and you are not a bad mum. You have a crier, but you have a sleeper! My babs is 9 months and has never slept for 6 hours straight. This baby thing is all swings and roundabouts. You need to focus on the positives. Thats what i try to do when my baby has woken for the 4th time in the night. The other mums you know will be telling you edited stories about their own babies. You might be hearing about what 'good, happy' babies they have and they will just omit to tell you about how they woke up 6 times last night. You sound like you need a break. I got low and sleep deprived at 3 months, my husband took the baby for all day and night and I went off and pampered myself and slept and it really helped. Do you have family who can help out and give you some time to yourself?

He sounds exactly like my dd. Never stopped crying for the first few months. Would only fall asleep in the buggy.

Mine improved dramatically after weening. Went from crying most of the day, to hardly ever crying at all at around the six month point. It was like a switch.

Hang in there! I think in hindsight maybe she had wind or her stomach wasn't quite ready for it all yet. We tried Infacol but it made no difference.

I thought it was the loudest noise in the world and left playgroup/cafes when she set off. In actual fact a young baby is quite quiet and not really that noticeable.

We survived by putting the vacuum cleaner or hairdryer on. White noise and she was quiet. Then put the subtitles on the tv if it's late.

DH was often wheeling her round the block at midnight to get her to sleep.

I felt desperate at the time - I think I have a library's worth books on crying babies.

It's awful though - I really sympathise. But it will more than likely pass. And it is nothing to do with what you are doing. From the six month point on she was extremely smiley and happy.

God bless you

I agree with Artfine, a baby this young is not sleeping for a reason..

Mine had silent reflux, cows milk protein intolerance (which also caused chronic constipation, making the reflux worse!) Only slept 8 hours at night through sheer exhaustion from screaming 7am - 10pm. Took a while to sort things out but he's a belter now :0) You will get through it

Sounds like you're doing a great job. Do not give up trying to find a solution, sometimes you've gotta be Pushy Parent. You know your baby, if you feel something is wrong - it is! (Even if they are your first..) And meds can make a HUGE difference, as can different milks.

Just offering my opinion, based on our experiences. I really do sympathise and hope you get the poor mite (and you) some peace soon. It WILL pass.

Much Love

I need to go to work.

I will come back later.

I PROMISE this is not you. There is something wrong. Quite possibly silent reflux. This time last year child I nanny fors Mum was in same place as you. Ranitadine finally helped - and he was like a different baby!

See a different GP/HV/anyone.

x

Oh and a lot of GPs are a bit rubbish at diagnosing silent reflux and giving anything other than gaviscon :( Anyone who really believes it is this then ask for trial of other meds for a short time to see if it makes a difference.

P.S. I uttered the words 'he just hates me' too. He didn't / doesn't. I am his favourite person in the world as you are to your baby! X

How did you manage to get the doctor to prescribe ranitidine instead of gaviscon? Did you have to be referred to a specialist?

Hi op ive not read whole thread but cutting out dairy from my diet certainly helped my ebf baby also tilting matress as she had silent reflux. Hope things improve soon x

When you say you cut out dairy do you mean just the obvious stuff like milk and cheese or do you check the ingredients of everything to make sure it hasn't got an dairy like say, milk/whey proteins?

007, I was given some Gaviscon after taking LO to A&E. Then Ranitidine after another trip to A&E.. Then I finally put my foot down at the GPs, said I was not budging till I had a referral to a 'proper paediatrician who knows what they're on about'! I got seen that week. Omeprazole and nurse visits followed, improvements then were swift :-) Icing on the cake was Nutramigen milk. Bits of dairy must have been getting through in my diet (all credit to those who manage to continue breastfeeding dairy-free - it's in almost everything!!) The protein was the problem for us but it could always be lactose..? It is not easy but it is possible to make them so much more comfortable so do not be fobbed off with 'they'll grow out of it, putting on weight, they're fine.' If they are in pain, they are not fine.

If you're seriously worried about your baby, get a referral to a paediatrician is my advice. My HV and GP were zero help.