my world is ending

[Jellymum1]

In short, my sister has accused my dad who is not her dad of sexual abuse when she was a child. We were both sexually abused by our brother. He is out of our lives/lives in another country but we always agreed never to tell our mum who would be too upset. Me and my sister are not close. My dad DID NOT abuse me. She is saying that her counsellor is going to issue an "investigation" into my dads relationship with my 4 year old. I havent heard anything in whats been nearly a week. My dad has showed no signs he has heard anything? My mind is doing somersaults constantly I cant eat/sleep/function. The samaritans although good at listening dont offer advice. Ive rang numerous counselling sevcies but not got any replies. Im going insane waiting for social services? Police? To turn up on my doorstep. I am dreading what they are going to put my daughter through. I am 31 weeks pregnant and terrified and alone. I have NO local support whatsoever (except my husband but I mean out of the immidiate turmoil) I am srruggling now to look after myself I feel sick. My mum now knows and phoned me yesterday...she hates my dad anyway they were divorced when I was 9. I dont have any worries about my daughter she seems normal/happy/healthy she loves her grandad? She has never said anything to concern me or behaved like she doesnt like him? Im so confused so messed up and so very very alone and scared.

[Thumbwitch]

Your sister is being very selfish, even if she has got terrible troubles. She should not be increasing your stress and anxiety while you are pregnant, how rude of her!

Let's face it, there is NOTHING you can do to help her feel less rotten or help her cope - so there is really no point her telling you these things, as all it does is make you feel bad. She needs professional help, by the sounds of it, and you are not it.

Can you "lose" your phone, so that you don't see all these messages? Just for a while.

[Jellymum1]

Yes thumbwich. I have come off facebook and whatsapp so its not as easy to track me down! Im going to just try my hardest to hold it together and hope to god that my daughter isnt caused any undue stress. Xxx

[mrshunkermunker]

Different circumstances, but we found out my fil had been abusing my niece a couple of years ago. He was arrested after my neice gave evidence and we waited to be contacted. Surprisingly little happened. I just had one phone call from the childrens protection team to check i knew the terms of his bail! Our dc did not have much contact with him and I'm confident he did not do anything to them when he did visit (no opportunity, they were still very young), but I thought there would have been more of an investigation.
I haven't had much contact with them, but the Lucy Faithfull Trust works with families affected by abuse and have a phone line for support- not sure if they offer advice or not.

[Jellymum1]

Mrs hunkermunker that must have been worrying and shocking too. Thats suprising not much happened if there was a police investigation too. Thank you for that I will look it up. It's amazing there is no support for this...I can find support for us at all except the samaritans but that is just a lot of "and how does that make you feel". I want actual support and information but there is none!