effects of CC

[papillon]

i just found this review in amazon.. does anyone agree ... disagree? I have heard of Gina Ford but not Elizabeth Pantley

...Australia the Association of Infant Mental Health have issued a warning against the method of "controlled crying" which she advocates as it can lead to psychological problems!! Gina's job is to train babies, she has no interest in the child's mental or physical (scheduled feeds can lead to dehydration and failure to thrive) well being for the future. She just wants her money for her quick fix methods! She's not even a mother herself, just a baby trainer. Babies aren't meant to be trained, they need to be nurtured and loved and leaving a baby to cry until it believes it has been abandoned and then shuts up to conserve energy is not my idea of caring for a loved one! Dissociation and learned helplessness are not pyschological problems i wish to instill in my baby for the sake of a full nights sleep! This woman makes me so cross! I second the reader (dated the 7th of november) who suggests a far kinder book to look at - "The no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. At least she has had children so has some idea what she is talking about!

I was shocked too Secur... I had to try and bite my lip. She calls it tough love. I do not think she knows about CC.

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What's wrong with that secur?

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Oh, I see Suedonim. It's a sensitive subject this cc, isn't it? I have to say that this thread does show how very different even tiny babies are. Even when we'd left ds to cry for a while he was no different in the morning - just as cheery and loving as ever. And he actually needs a lot of sleep. Even at two and a half he sleeps 11 hours at night and up to three hours during the day - so during those terrible, terrible nights he must also have been exhausted. I also think we adults are all different and some of us are more (or less) resilient in the face of sleep deprivation than others. I would probably have had another child by now had it not been for the eight months of sheer hell.

Bloss, I also started feeling terrible surges of anger towards my ds when he woke repeatedly - and at that point woke up dh (who slept in the spare room nearly every night and I missed him ) and handed the baby over. I think we feel very similarly about this!

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secur - by the sounds of it I think what you did was less CC and more like the no cry solution, where you gradually withdraw from the room over a series of nights/weeks. Or maybe I read that wrong?

hercules - CC is the time interval process - going in after 5, then 10, then 15 minutes, and so on, and it should get easier each day until baby settles themselves - not just letting a baby cry itself to sleep.

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So CC is for just getting them to sleep initially? What about in the middle of the night when the baby wakes up... can it be utilised then?

It seems that like you said Bloss that it suits some babes and not others. Depends on their personalities I guess. They are little individuals testing the new waters of life.

The first time our dd went to sleep awake was without any crying or CC being applied. I just had a conversation with her about how wanted she was and how I was happy to have her in our lives and then she went to sleep. (sorry for being emotive Secur ) She was only around 5 weeks old. Maybe it was my extremely reassuring facial expression or something.
It is a learning curve and reading the babies cues seems to be a good indicator I am finding. That could be why I am hesitant about the concept of CC.

All clearer now.
Interested to hear more about the no cry approach.

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Ermmm, Sheila Kitzinger has 4 children, surely?

Oh Papillion, I tried that talking too! Babies are all different. I am sure you are a great mother, and tbh, I think I'm pretty fantastic too, but my baby wouldn't sleep at night for 8months. He certainly felt wanted, loved and reassured...but he didn't sleep. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that good mother = wonderful sleeper, it really aint that simple. Look at Suedonim - first one great, fourth one a nightmare. I bet she didn't turn into a less intuitive mother with experience.
And no cc isn't just for getting them to sleep. It's actually IMO much more useful for night wakings, which was our problem.

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Bloss .. maybe the person who wrote this review might have been referring to the emotional state of being a parent who deals with one child on a long term basis rather than a child care professional who deals with children on the short term.

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yes, Sheila Kitzinger has four children. Spoke to her once, and she sounded really nice. Was making chocolate fondue for her grandchildren!
GF says, would you prefer a heart surgeon who has done 1,000 successful operations themselves, or one who has a dicky heart so knows just how you feel. I have some sympathy with that pov, though I do think that until you are a mother you have no idea how hard some of her advice is to follow (eg no eye contact at night).

That's OK

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Papillon, I think the person who wrote that review was being plain nasty about GF. I've been nasty about her myself in the past, but when I read her saying how much it hurt her and how she would have loved to have her own children, I think it is wrong to fling insults at the person. The method, yes, if you think it is wrong then say so, but from all the evidence I've seen GF is not a cruel or wicked person.

OMG is no eye contact from gf?

I did this with both ds and dd and they really did learn from a very young age the difference from day and night.
Have I been doing gf without realising it?

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