"Mummy pushed me down the stairs".. and other gems from DD

[SouthernComforts]

DD has a very active imagination.

She spent a few days telling anyone who would listen that I'd pushed her down the stairs!

She told me in detail about going to the park with nursery, having a BBQ, even what she ate from the BBQ. When I asked the nursery staff they'd stayed in all day. It was January, and snowing.

I picked her up another day and in front off the staff she said "mummy pleaaaase let me have some dinner today, I'll be good!"

Anyone else managed to raise a compulsive liar?

N.b I don't push her down stairs and I do feed her

[Algea]

DS1 aged 3 was sent to his room for being a pain to DS2 one day last summer. The small top window was open, which meant that all the neighbours could hear him wailing loudly: "I need water, I need food, pleeeease!"

[IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM]

Mummy and daddy hit each other

I dont mind as most sensible people can separate truth from lies and know us, but telling the PILS, who jump on everything she says as truth absolute is rather more....

[cafecito]

I have a compulsive liar too (just turned 4) he's also a very good actor - I'm waiting for the nursery to just refuse to hand him over one day !

[QueenFuri]

I love this thread the little buggers . Ds1 loved telling the nursery I didn't feed him. I picked him up from nursery and the teacher said she was sorry about the death of my father . He had told them grandad was away now in the sky forever, they took it as he'd died but really he was in a plane going home too Germany .

[Indigoviolet3]

When DD1 was 3 I took her on a nursery trip to Weymouth on the train whilst DH looked after baby at home, when he asked if we'd had a nice time she said "Well mummy was kissing a man on the train and told me not to tell you!" I still haven't lived it down 5 years later! I promise I wasn't!

[IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM]

Oh yes she told the nursery staff that "Mummy had lost a baby" They only told me this after I was pregnant with second, I wondered why they had been so congratulatory at the time....

[ClemencePoesy]

My two used to conspire and put on a sad face and say things like
'My mummy hits me'
Or
'Please don't hit me'
Out of nowhere, always in front of people, they thought it was hilarious. I have never ever ever lifted a finger to them.

When I was little my bedroom was redecorated wooden floors stripped and varnished,dark wood panelling,big antique metal bed with a sconce above and drapes around the bed. My teacher overheard me telling my friends I had a new bedroom that was just like a cosy cave. My mum was called in, I think they thought I was living in the coal cellar.

This was not long after I'd been found with my mum's naked pregnant Polaroid shots in my school bag, not even I remember why I thought taking them to school would be a good idea. Or wearing her suspenders underneath my school skirt...(My mum wasn't awful, just a bit bohemian and scatty and I was a little fucker magpie who embarrassed her at every turn)

[TetrisBlock]

My son doesn't like his nursery key worker because she hurt his arm. This has never happened.

[QOD]

My dd lost a front tooth, she told everyone, including her teacher who then sent her to do "special reading" with the head ....

[QOD]

I keep that tooth fery letter in my purse still

[TetrisBlock]

QOD I'm in my mobile with no glasses, what does it say?0

[TetrisBlock]

*on

[RedCrab]

These are hilarious but god - it really makes you wonder about the ones yelling "that's not my mummy!" What if it ever happens to be true? Oh god, it doesn't bear thinking about. What would you do, as a passerby, seeing a child being picked up and them screaming it wasn't their parent?

Sorry, I've made the thread all serious!

[GemmaTeller]

My niece told everyone at school and wrote it in her news book that mum was having another baby, teacher congratulated my sister, who was I'm not pregnant!

DSD had a fixation with Disneyland Paris and told everyone we were taking her and told us school were taking her!

My nieces little boy currently has the habit of shouting 'help meeeeeee' when made to sit in his buggy when out shopping

[QOD]

To tooth ferry
My mummy
qunch miy in
the fays
and I swulwd
muy tooth


She was only 4, she fell off a climbing frame, I ran and grabbed/caught her and did indeed knock her front tooth out which she swallowed
She told EVERYONE I'd punched her in the face

[GemmaTeller]

DSD once did the classic cutting off of her fringe when she was with us for a week...then told her dad I'd done........I'd actually been at work all day.
Dad had to ring DSD's mum and tell her what she'd done, when DSD went home at the weekend she was still adamant to her mum that I'd done it.

She drew all over something with felt pen and blamed a cousin who'd never even been to our house!

[mrsjay]

I do think teachers can tell when the fibs are tripping out of their mouths and when they are telling the truth in all seriousness children who really are pushed down stairs won't say anything sadly

[mrsjay]

oh sorry now i am making the thread serious my post was meant for redcrab

[SouthernComforts]

I work in a bar so I get the inevitable "mummy goes to the pub every night" and "mummy takes me to the pub all the time". Once. Once I took her to the childrens charity fundraiser with bouncy castle etc.

[SouthernComforts]

I know what you mean, I'm guessing teachers and nursery staff have a good radar for what's true and what isn't.

[LyndaCartersBigPants]

My dd used to say that her favourite key worker at nursery sat on her and bonked her on the head. Obviously this was a complete lie, but one day I mentioned it.

The key worker said "oh yes, I do that all the time, she loves it! She follows me round asking me to bonk her on the head and then I sit on her"!

She was lovely so I was assured it was all in good fun

[zipzap]

I found a little message written on the wall which ds1 blamed on his brother. Unfortunately ds2 was only 1 at the time and so couldn't hold a pen let alone write letters with it... Soon after I found another few letters written on the wall except it was a white wall and ds1 had sellotaped a small bit of white paper over it to cover it. It was down low so it took me a while to spot but again he tried to blame ds2 for it - both the writing and the covering up!

DS2 is now 5 and they have been talking about healthy eating at school. He's been telling them that he has sweets for breakfast - which he does, but they're vitamin drops rather than sweeties. He just doesn't bother to mention the cereal or toast or baked beans or whatever he's had that was his 'proper' breakfast. Dread to think what the teacher now thinks!

[MinionDave]

When my DD was 2, she told Santa at the nursery party that 'mummy and daddy spit on me and then break all my toys'

That was one of many gems she came put with, it's a wonder social services were never called .

*disclaimer - I have never spit on any of my children or intentionally broken their toys.

[HighwayRat]

dd likes to cower and say 'mummy please dont hit me' she properly shakes! little toe rag.

[Goblinchild]

'Dread to think what the teacher now thinks!'

We believe every word that falls from their innocent little lips, we judge you all very harshly and we write detailed notes in our Big Black Books.