Do you ever look at your children and think 'wtf'?

[SPsMrLoverManSHABBA]

I woke up this morning to see The 'Tude in my bed eating a block of cheese. I just looked at him and he said "Me have breakfast like Buddy" as if he knew what I was thinking.

(Buddy is his toy mouse)

It wad this morning that I thought he gets this weirdness from his dads side, obviously

Hmmm, when teenage dds are full of hostility and attitude towards me I think wtf...

Evil genius Dd2 (13 months) insisted on going on the toilet before her bath tonight because that's what her sister does! I held on there for a few seconds, she then looked at me and gave her little 'I'm done' noise. Took her off. She happily pranced off to the bath...
Dd1 (3) thinks it's hilarious to stick her fingers in her dad's ears. Ick. And for the last to days has been talking over and over to herself about "when DD2 is 5, I'll be 7, when I'm 23, she be 21" etc et bloody cetera! Bit rain man, me thinks.

somewhere, that's how my DD says light too! She constantly demands we flip the switches for her. I never thought of showing her a catalogue. May try :) She's also very orderly. She'll close the baby gate if it's left open, and just today she was trying to put the rubber bands that we used to keep her out of the cabinets back on the cabinet doors!

I love these - making me LOL in Starbucks - mildly embarrassing...

DS1 (age 3) seeing a road sign - red triangle with a deer in it - and explaining very clearly that they shouldn't be called reindeers cos they only come out when it's snowing - so they should be called snowdeers.... kind of unanswerable logic to that when you're only 3.

And - while walking down the high street in the nearby town - he is reciting the Gruffalo to himself (he has it word perfect, of course) - which he had been listening to on CD - so he also paused at the end of each paragraph said 'ding' and 'turn the page' before continuing because that's what the CD does...

Oh yes - and dinosaurs and monsters get shooed out of the house if they have mucky feet - they even get the door opened for them as they are shooed outside.

DS2 (not quite 2 yet) has to line ALL his cars up (about 40) in a row nose to tail across the kitchen floor - then ram the last one into the end and shout BUMP.

He also has to follow DS1 and I whenever we go to the loo. I call it our 'entourage' - we all have to go together. Then whoever has had a wee, be it DS1 or me - gets told 'Trousers Up' and assisted with replacing the garment. Even if we haven't finished yet.

Strangely this never happens to DH...

(Having read the whole thread, am now crying - in Starbucks - bloke next to me just got up and left....)

The 2 year old is potty training, he wont wear anything on his bottom half, today he looked down at himself and said look mammam willy bigger! Of course it had to be at the time I was opening the door to a delivery man

oh oh and the time DS2 (at 22 months) made our lovely builder wear - in strict 10 second rotation - fireman sam hat, bob the builder hat, policewoman hat, evie the wzard (from mike the knight) hats - while poor bloke was trying to give me a quote for bookcases. Everytime he took a hat off he just got handed the next one. To give him credit he just quietly kept putting them on - while trying to maintain an aura of professionalism.
Mental picture is better if you know that said builder is a bloke in his 50's, a big hairy biker, beard'n'all.

I look at mine every day ( 21,20 and 17 ) and think WTF !!!

It only gets worse as they get older :o

DD has always loved to have lots of crap treasures in bed with her. Books, dolls, stuffed animals, favorite drawings and on and on. It's a pain in the ass to change her sheets because of all the stuff she has in there. I sometimes wonder how there's room for her at all.

When she was little, we had to move her chalk board out of her room because she kept bringing the chalk into her bed with her and would curled awake up covered in chalk dust. And there was the time I found her with her whole tea set laid out with her little body curled around it. I have lots of picture of her in bed where you can barely find the kid for all the stuff she has gathered around her.

Dd (2.2) newest trick is to sort of squat and walk acrossthe livibg room (like a chimp), singing the Oompa Loopa song.

Her other favourite thing is to say "I love your ...." with the lovable body part being anything from bum, wobblytummy, hairy eyes (!?)

Ds 7 years...I am going to live on my own. I can live in my tent & light a fire to keep warm. Get water from garden taps & dry myself by the fire. What will you eat I say? Finally settles on frozen turkeys. & where will you get the money to buy them.......showbusiness!

Whenever I look in ds1 19s bedroom I think wtf

This thread is hilarious! Kids are brilliant :) some funny stories to add...
My 9 year old son on a plane last year - 'I have Jet Leg' Me 'do you mean Jet Lag?' him - 'No I mean Jetleg because I'm on a jet and my leg hurts'...
When hugged at the moment he insists on me saying 'you're my pretty princess'
He likes to dance around using 'snake hips' and singing 'Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me'
My daughter who is now 12 used to use 'Jam my pies!' as an expression of surprise aged 7 - there was even a festive version - 'mince my pies!' - Have no idea where that came from!!!

Oh I am literally crying reading some of these! Bringing back funny memories! dd when she was 2 used to come into our bed and lift my eyelid with her finger saying 'are you awake Mummy', she was 1cm from my face! You have no idea how terrifying it is to be woken up like this!
She also used to make me 'marry' her and give her Disney princess kisses which went on for ever & I couldn't break away from!
The worst was her imaginary friend Chloe though, she would spot her in the rear view mirror of the car and say hi - very spooky! And had a huge row with her nursery teacher about having a sister, she was talking about Chloe! Ha ha

Ds2 now 21 said when he was about 4 and had a newish little brother.... when we grow up we are going ice skating and we will have big black beards ... they are now 21 and 17 one has a ginger beard, the other has no beard and they have no ice skating inclinations so far

We seem to have produced the most cheerful, smiliest child ever. He beams at everyone and is just so twinkly. I am a grumpy so and so and so is DH. We have no idea where he gets it from.

God they are lovely crazy things aren't they!

Last year, so, 2.10 yrs, ds fell in love with a butternut squash and a pumpkin ... Real ones. He played with them, carried them around and slept with them.

He would sneak into my bed and carry them one by one to join him with me. Waking up with two cold root vegetables being pressed to my skin was hideous!

It was a very hard thing explaining why they had to go away... When one went dry and somewhat desiccated, and the other one squishy and slightly mushy.

In the space of 5 minutes DD aged 5 has just come up with two

"Mummy, can we keep some of the headlice as pets?"

"Mummy, look I'm blowing bubbles in the water like we do at swimming". Would have been impressed with her determination to practise if it wasn't for the fact she's in a bath full of bubble bath

Last night DS2 pooed in the bath (he's 14 months). He put it his mouth, and as I tried to remove it, gave me a cheeky smile and swallowed it. Before reaching for more.

My 3yr old goes out in sunglasses when it's raining, she says it's to keep the rain out of her eyes, makes perfect sense really!!