What is sex? Asked by 6yr old dd

[trikid]

That really. Asked by dd while we were having dinner this evening. Dh nearly choked on his baked beans. We tried to go into turning the question onto gender boy/ girl masculine and feminine words. But she wasn't really happy with that explanation.

Ummmm.... how did that happen exactly?!?! What has she heard...

My DD asked this at about 5 yo.

I did a demo of conception using a tomato and a pea.

When a man and woman make a baby? I bet she's heard something at school!

Why can't you tell her? She's 6yrs, not 6 months.

Having no children of my own, when I got pregnant, my DNeices (aged 7,8 &9) said "oooooooohhhhhh if you are pregnant then that means you and UncleAhoy had S-E-X". I was a bit speechless, but sort of babbled on for a minute about when you loved someone very much you had sex and that's how babies were made. I can't really remember what I said exactly, but turns out they all thought sex was just kissing, and I managed to completely ruin that I think

Their parents were NOT impressed with me!!

We went to a children party with mostly 6 year olds, I suppose there were a few older brothers. She said she heard one of her friends saying it. Will have a chat with her teacher tomorrow. They talking about weather and climate at the moment. So no similarities really. Am I old fashioned to think 6 years is a bit too young?
When she askes where babies come from she is happy to know that a seed starts to grow in mummy's tummy.

Laughing! I've not said the SEX word. Nor has DS(7). Though I have very clearly explained how children are made. Sperm/Egg etc. Willy going into vagina. Etc. Nicely. He asked. Though he thinks it's just how children are made... his words "sperm meets egg, if Sperm likes Egg, he'll make a baby". I suggest a book by Babette Cole - Mummy Laid An Egg (think that's right).
WhatAFeline... am very interested in your demo of conception using a tomato and a pea!!!

Should I not be explaining to my 5 year old how babies are made when she asks then?

We've talked about "special cuddles" between mummy and daddy. And she has asked how the seed got into the tummy...

I personally think explain, properly, sort of. Nicely. Highly recommend Babette Cole book. I AM NOT BABETTE COLE... but it's an interesting way to explain. Worked for us anyway.

I just went to amazon to order... and it mentions 2 pages of sexual positions in some of the reviews.... not sure my 5 year old needs to see that either!

We had a brilliant book about giving birth called "hello, baby" I can thoroughly recommend though!

I don't see what's wrong with just telling children the truth. At six, she's old enough if you couch it in easily understood language. You know, egg meets sperm released by the penis in the vagina; that sort of thing. Tbh I think if she's asking, she's better off getting a proper explanation from you rather than listening to the kind of crap that kids tell each other in the playground.

GoodnessIsThatTheTime.... yes those pages are a bit odd... they are line/cartoon drawings of mummy and daddy "doing it" on a space hopper and various other weird places. They are cartoon line drawings, with happy/funny eyes. Admit often skip that page. But you don't see anything horrible. Silly/funny line drawings with parents smiling! Obviously not how it really looks! No, your 5 year old doesn't need to see them. I've found this book helpful, as well as us using the right words for the body parts. Though, to my horror, my son found the word Vagina hysterical and says it lots. As in.. "Mummy is your Vagina happy today".... I could go on and on and on. Am sure he'll get over it. One day. It is a serious subject though, and one to embrace with your child, albeit in the right way for each individual.

We read 'where willy went'. I decided to get it out the way and told them the term they started reception.

I don't like the 'ignorance is bliss' train of thought. Personally I think it makes children very vulnerable.

I agree, I don't want to ignore the question as it obviously bothered her not knowing. I am looking for a child friendly explanation without being too graphic if that is possible. Thanks all, I am a long term lurker, maybe to shy to post. But this one does bother me....

I was asked the same thing at the same age by dd. I told her everything, absolutely everything in a completely factual way, she was totally fascinated. Periods, sanitary towels, sex all came up as the questions flowed. Her little sister was there too but most went over her head but she was interested. It is how we procreate I don't see it as a big deal at all. The whole idea of making sex a mystery is lost on me. Then again she loves science totally and would not have been fooled by any glossing over issues do it would not have been worth trying. Her favourite bit was when we got home and looked at the various stages of foetal development.

Sorry cross post. I would keep coming forward with info as long as the questions come. Once the questions stop you can stop too.

I asked dh what we were doing tonight, at which point dd, aged 6, said "oooh, Mummy wants to have sex with Daddy". Cue shock and panic. On questioning, turns out she thought sex was kissing and cuddling. Nevertheless, I have ordered a book I saw recommended on here! Time for a more detailed explanation than "special cuddles"!

Tell her sex is something mummy and daddy used to do before they had children.

trikid, both Where Willy Went and Mummy Laid an Egg are child-friendly in that they use language that children understand and have an approach that is both humorous and educational. Either of them would be a useful starting-point, and then just be guided by her questions really. Some kids want to know everything all at once when you start talking about it, and some are happy just to get what facts they want at that time and revisit the topic later as they think up more questions gradually. I wouldn't worry about using 'appropriate' language because I'm sure that you answer lots of questions and talk about lots of different stuff every day, so you are the best expert in how to explain things to your own child. Trust in your abilities!

@ BrandNewIggi

I'm all for telling the truth, in a gentle, factual manner. It's much better that kids know the truth than pick up rubbish from friends about babies coming out of bottoms and such like.
When I was 11 I had a book slipped under my pillow and no conversations at all. I'd already got my period by that point, which I had found very traumatic with no warning or apparent reason and the lack of conversation about sex led me to believe it was something wrong, bad and secret.
I just don't want to pass on the same negative connotations to our kids and so when they ask a question I give them a no nonsense answer.
I'm hoping that this will lead to adolesents/adults that respect their own and others bodies rather than fear them or view them in an unhealthy way.

In year 2 they get taught quite a lot about sex you know, my 6 year old knew all about the mans sperm, women's egg and how they meet. If she's old enough to ask she's old enough to tell, I suspect she's been taught it in school recently.

Oh no, don't get too stressed about it. Just matter of fact.

just tell, her. Sex is when a mummy and daddy make a baby. Daddy puts a seed into mummy.

Then wait and see if that is enough, or if she asks another question.

By six all mine knew where babies come from, it is normal part of life.