What is the age gap of your dc's - and would you recommend?

[Quintessentialmadonna]

Hiya
Just looking for some feedback. I know I definately want another dc, the love I feel for my dd is just too good not to experience again! For various reasons I would not have one just yet though. Just out of curiousity , what is the best the age gap? Or rather, what is the the age gap of dc's and how is it reeeally!?

it all depends on their personalities, surely? there are 2 years between my sister and I, but we have never ever been friends, whereas there are 2.8 years between my 2, and they currently adore each other, and play together beautifully.

My best age gap is between ds1&3 so 16 years, they love each other to bits but ds1 has always been really good with little children.

My friend has 14 years betwee 1&3 and the 14 year old refused to even acknowledge the baby for nearly a year

19 months and I'm loving it, they're 3.6 and nearly 2 now and they love playing together, and DD is bringing DS on in leaps and bounds.

My parents thought nearly 4 years was the best, and I'm sure it was easier for them than 19 months was for us, but we were always at very different stages.

I'm sure it depends on the kids though.

I'm confused by your name. You're not Quintessential... are you?

Anyhoo, my first two were 2.9 years apart. It was a hard slog but worth it as they are both quite similar and I can manage them together. DC3 is due in April when DC1 will be 9 and DC2 will be nearly 7. I'm hoping the age gap will be of benefit as the older ones are able to fetch and carry and make their own snacks and drinks etc which should make it easier if i have to spend a long time breastfeeding and stuck on the sofa.

DS1 was 2.4years when DS2 was born. I am very happy with this age gap as DS1 has always been interested in DS2 and they have a great relationship, which was my main concern in trying for DS2 quickly. It did help that DS1 was daytime toilet trained when DS2 arrived and was attending nursery. It meant I had a bit of a break of having two and DS1 still had an active day even when I was broken my disrupted sleep. They are 4.10 and 2.6 now and best buddies, DS2 worships DS1 and DS1 is a really good big brother. With the closeness in age, they still play with a lot of the same things and enjoy doing so. The hard part is that they are both so little and still require lots of attention - it can be hard on the parents to balance it out.

Im not Quintessential... Just chose this name randomly oooh lots of 3 years sounding good! I thought 2.5 months was when they went to nursery for 15 hours per week though? Not 3...?

Sorry for jumbled previous message!!! I thoufht 2 and a half years is when they go to nursery, not 3!

Ah ok, there's a well known poster whose name always starts with quintessential, or quint. Could get confusing.

I fell pg six months back, meaning there would be 2.3yrs between DD and her sibling. Sadly we had a MMC, and I have recently decided to wait til she is due at school full time before bringing a sibling into the mix.

I found the first trimester utterly exhausting and between that and my job, never saw my dd. Whilst I certainly wasnt happy about the MMC and no doubt would have been excited now having only a couple of.months to go, the idea that of I do do thos again I could take her to school and come back and sleep all day if needed.

Sorry to add a totally dofferent viewpoint on it!

1 minute

Thanks for the heads up nevergoogle... I shall change my name! Sorry to hear of your mmc mynameis... Glad you ok now. I guess sometimes we cant choose these things, perhaps i am being overly optimistic in presuming so... Need to chill a lil on controlling things!

Spacekoala ... I cant say i envy you... Sorry!?!

15 minutes not planned

Name changed!

2 minutes :)

19 mths between dd1 and 2; 20 mths between dd2 and 3; 22 months between dd3 and dd4. All pretty close and done and dusted in five years and 2 months. It is bloody hard, really full-on. However, we suspect dd2 is on the spectrum and I think that has made it a whole lot worse for us. They all get along very well, but they also fight quite a lot. Sometimes they are a lovely little gang, and then it is bliss!

Dd4 is coming up to 2 and some bits are a bit easier. It's been lovely to be able to see dd4 grow us, rather than through a haze of 9 months of morning sickness and the newborn days.

As I was 35 when I had dd1 and we planned four dcs, we had no real option but narrow gaps. I do love seeing them playing together and, when dd2 is having a good moment, it is really enjoyable. They do ultimately all love each other though, even if they sometimes struggle to show it!

Nearly exactly 2.5 years. If we had family around, I think even closer would have been better, as with family help, it would have been easier to have two little ones who both need a lot of looking after. As it was, the only really hard time was 6 months or so when DD was about 4, DS was 1.5 and DH was travelling a lot for work.

Now that they are 7 and 4.5, they play really well together. There's fights of course, but they are close enough to be peers. Which is very handy for holidays and not needing to entertain each of them separately with different age-appropriate activities.

Imip wow! Sounds fun but hard! Andi you seem to have a good gap for your family :)

Ds1 is 20 ds2 just turned 8 worship each other always have done thankfully from day 1 of telling ds1 was pregnant so protective of me and little brother .

I'm not in the UK, am in Europe, and there is an English language nursery that takes kids from 2. I sent him to nursery a few afternoons so he could socialize better and it was also part of the plan before DS2 arrived. It really helped that he was happy!

I'm not sure that there is a 'best' age gap - it all depends on the individual child or children. There is 21 months between Ds1 and Dd, and 10 and 8 years between them and Ds2. The elder 2 fight like cat and dog, always have done. Ds2 is either a pain in the neck or their gorgeous little brother, depending on their mood/teenage hormone levels

There will be approx 4 years between my kids when DC2 is born this summer. The gap suits us for lots of reasons . we couldn't have done it earlier anyway because of money reasons and being stuck in a tiny flat we couldn't sell, but childcare was a big consideration (couldnt afford two in nursery) and it took me a long time to feel back to normal and ready for having another after a difficult start with DD.

I think the best age gap is just what suits your personal, emotional and financial circumstances.

It used to bug me when everyone asked when I was having another - when DD was still really young! I went to the dentist when DD was 2 - "are you pregnant?", "are you sure??" . Err, yes, I'm sure. She only asked after I said DD had just turned 2.

Theborrower I feel your pain, hehe. I remember my DD was around 4 minths and the doc asked when we having our next- he was being deadly serious- when i said "Never" ( i was exhausted!) he could not fathom it. He was adamant we would soon!? Strange. Some people are so persistant and so narrow minded they believe their way is the only. It is remarkable how many parents think this! Never ceases to amaze me! (Hence why i made sure to say- how do you cope with your age gap, too! )

18 months and 5 years.
Both recommended - first time to get what my GP described as the veterinary stage . out of the way quickly. Second time to enjoy having a baby when knowing what to do, with the other 2 at school so I could bf and mn in peace.