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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Year 5 (9 and 10 year olds) and Call of Duty

82 replies

ksld · 15/01/2014 13:41

DS is very keen to play Call of Duty or a similar game who's name I forget as 'everyone' at school plays them. He has been bullied a lot at school for being babyish and this is the latest 'target'.

I had assumed it was one or two kids with older teenage brothers who were playing this type of game as they are 18 rated. However I went to a school event with DS and discovered it really isn't 1 or 2, of the 12 children there 10 of them definitely played this game. (1 I am not sure as was v quiet, and DS doesn't.)

I have been trying to work out ways for DS to fit in more at school to make his life easier, but I am not going to relent on this as I do not think these games are suitable for him. But I understand how difficult it is for him trying to fit in instead of being picked on, and now this game has become the main topic of conversation (presumably lots of them got it/a console for Christmas hence the obsession now) and he can't join in.

I have had a look at the website for the people who classify games, but wonder if anyone can point me to any articles about the effects of playing these games on small developing brains so I can show DS to show him why I feel as I do?

Also can you tell me are we really in the minority everywhere with not letting DS play these, or is it just our school? And if your similar age children do play these sort of games - could you tell me why you think they are ok? (Genuine question not being snarky!)

OP posts:

littleredsquirrel · 15/01/2014 13:42

You are not in the minority at all and there will (hopefully) be lots of other children at his school who do not play call of duty.

lottieandmia · 15/01/2014 13:44

You are not in the minority as far as I'm concerned. My dd is in year 5 and I don't allow her to play games that are rated 18 (or anything else). I feel for you that the particular situation at your ds's school is making it hard for him.

lottieandmia · 15/01/2014 13:46

A friend of mine at school was allowed to watch 'Nightmare on Elm Street' when we were only 8. There are always some parents who allow this sort of thing.

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Pantomime · 15/01/2014 14:23

As a gamer and soon to be parent I will be very strict on my age ratings. There are plenty of articles by 'gamer' parents about introducing children to video games and the problems they have faced so you really are not alone in this.

It does seem to be a tricky thing to judge, I know friends children who are allowed to play grand theft auto and games like that at a young age (7-12 years old ish, a long way off the 18 age rating) and I personally do not agree with it. The content is just not suitable.

If you let him play this game it won't fix the problem, in a few months the 'next big thing' will come out and you will have to make the decision again. If you do give in and let him have it there will always be "but you let me play X". Stick to your guns, while I wouldn't agree with the american belief that videogames make you violent (I grew up just fine!) I will agree that we should monitor what our children are allowed to play.

There are lots of different types of games for consoles. My nephew of that age plays skylanders which is a harmless little game aimed at kids however if your DS likes collecting things it could get expensive. Have you tried him on games like fifa (football game) or a racing game? Non violent however popular enough to maybe make him 'fit in' a bit better.

Hope that helps!

mummyxtwo · 16/01/2014 12:33

That is poor that so many of the parents at your son's school let their underage children play this. Mine are younger than yours but there is no chance that I will be letting my ds1 play anything like that. The games are so realistic and gory. Kids are kids for such a short time, and you can never give them their childhood back. Why would any parent want to hasten the loss of innocence? You can't protect your child from all external worldly influences as they grow up, but equally there is no need (or benefit from) to introduce them to graphic violence at such an impressionable age. Is there any alternative? Racing games, football, angry birds?! I know adults who love angry birds but I imagine 10 year old boys think it's boring or too young for them. Wish I could offer more advice, but certainly you're not the only one who won't let your son play this.

donnie · 16/01/2014 12:36

Porn is also for 18 year olds and older. Would you allow your ds to watch that?

Solo · 16/01/2014 12:37

My Ds is 15 and plays Call of Duty. There is no way I would have allowed him on this before he turned 15. It is a shooting and killing war 'game' which I don't even like him playing.

I think you are right not to let him. Get him to take up Karate or Judo instead.

Picturesinthefirelight · 16/01/2014 12:38

You are in the minority I think but so are we

Ds is almost 10 & I do allow him to play 12 rated games but absolutely no 16 or 18 ones.

nobutreally · 16/01/2014 12:41

No, that's not the norm with my ds's mates (also y5) - 12 films are certainly creeping in, but 18 games are only for a minority so far. Clash of clans, skylanders swop force (getting slightly younger) & of course, minecraft, are the games to play round here. Is he into any more suitable games like that with a bit of kudos, but a more appropriate rating?

Btw, when you said you asked 12 kids at school ... how did you do that? Are you sure they were all being honest?

Fuzzymum1 · 16/01/2014 13:25

I'm happy to be in this minority. My 16yo isn't allowed to watch 18 films or play 18 games, my primary aged child barely even knows they exist. One of his 8yo friends was describing a game he watched his dad play and from what I can tell he was talking about GTA. I told him I didn't think it was suitable and talk about it was banned in my house.

Fancyashandy · 16/01/2014 13:43

I'd say my son was in the minority in his class. Seems many, even most of his friends were playing 18 rated COD since about 9 and many did have older brothers. It is difficult and I really struggle with it. Wh have relented a bit and now he is 11 and at high school he has some 15 and 16 age games. The earlier COD games were about a 15 and I don't think as graphic or violent. He also now has COD Ghosts which is a 16.

SpockSmashesScissors · 16/01/2014 14:26

My year 5 10 year old DS doesn't play 18 rated games, there are a few in his class who do, but they are very much in the minority.

They all play minecraft, fifa, skylanders, racing ones or the lego games mostly.

ouryve · 16/01/2014 14:32

DH is a gamer and wouldn't let our y5 boy anywhere near most of the games he plays. They have their ratings for a reason.

DS1 is happy with Minecraft and still has a webkinz account because he likes the games. Occasionally, he'll play some Supermario game or other with DH.

Helpyourself · 16/01/2014 14:40

I'm on the relaxed/ liberal side of the fence here. I bought my 13yo an 18 game, assassin's creed and I can't see anything objectionable about it. However when his friends come round they're restricted to FIFA and having researched GTA he's not allowed that either.
And this is controversial, but if your son is that much of a fish out of water in his current peer group, is there anything you can do to change that?

Fancyashandy · 16/01/2014 15:03

Help - is that to me? His friends are nice enough with caring parents. They just all seem to play these games (most of them anyway).

WhenWhyWhere · 16/01/2014 16:04

My DCs are young adults now but I never allowed them to play games that were rated for older children (bar a year or so). I am a gamer myself so feel that I have some idea what I am talking about. It's not just the content of games like COD that are unsuitable for younger children but the style of the game play. Younger kids may find it very frustrating to play.

There are some games such as grand theft auto that I refuse to have in the house.

There are so many amazing games for younger kids there is no need for them to play adult games.

WhenWhyWhere · 16/01/2014 16:11

Here is the BBFC reasons for giving Call of Duty : Modern Warfare 3 an '18' classification.

Nerfmother · 16/01/2014 16:25

Year six here. Ds was absolutely in the minority and most of his friends and peers play halo, COD and a few have GTA. I know this, it's not 'everyone else does' In the end I gave in. I don't want him left out, it's hard enough for him fitting in and some things you just can't win. He has COD the latest one and everything else is minecraft or FIFA.

Prawntoast · 16/01/2014 16:30

having had a look at the BBFC link I'm not sure why anyone would want to play it, let alone junior school kids.

BarbarianMum · 16/01/2014 16:42

I hate these threads.

And when he's in Y7 will you provide him with pornography so he can 'fit in'? And then what? Buy beer at 14, a bit of dope, some fags? Few lessons in sexting perhaps?

There is any amount of data out there to show that these games are damaging (not necessarily long-term damage but few teens benefit from being less empathic or more innured to violence).

It is Cert 18 for very good reasons.

Oblomov · 16/01/2014 16:43

I have this. Ds1 insists that loads of his friends have. I am not sure how many, but I know a few have. Shocked'. Because I know the mums.
Dh asked his friends. And some of ds's cousins 18-21, and they said no way. Dh asked the man in the 'game' shop that sells lots of Xbox games etc and he too said no way.
Makes me sad that mums are allowing it. It is an 18. It is very violent . The swearing is bad.
Ds insists his friends that no swearing because his friends play with no volume.
But I just hate it. Allowing 20 yr old to play such a violent 18 game?

rrreow · 16/01/2014 18:13

Do a search for 'mirror neurons', I believe they are part of what backs up research of not letting young kids watch or play inappropriate material.

RestingActress · 16/01/2014 18:17

No way would my 10yo be playing it.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/01/2014 20:51

DS is y5 one or two have Assassins Creed. When DS watch his friend play it he had nightmares for a week. DS plays mainly nintendo games, is heavily into the latest zelda game at the moment which he is mainly playing with his dad.

They can't fit in with everyone and sometimes you have to help them understand that different can be good.

Second the suggestion of getting him to learn a martial art. Maybe it is something you could do together?

Ragwort · 16/01/2014 20:55

My DS is 12 (13 next month) - no way is allowed to play COD/GTA at home, I think he may have played it occasionally at a friend's house but I just say no, we do not have that game at home.

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