5 month old blues

[Christelle2207]

I adore my 5mo DS. BUT I am so pissed off with how well he and I are not coping compared to other mums and 5 mo babies I know in RL.
So my mummy "friends" are immaculately turned out with fab hair and make up. I look like death most of the time, have hair falling out all over the place and haven't dressed for anything other than comfort since my son was born. They also have immaculate homes (wtf?) And seem to get things on their to-do list generally done.
I should add that I know we all found the first few weeks difficult but it seems they have found their mummy feet rather more easily.
DS' sleep is crap. Better than it was but he wakes four times in a good night, sometimes roughly hourly. Never sleeps more than 3.5 hours in a row. All other 5mo babies sleep 12-14h without waking it seems.
He also virtually never naps, unless in car or pram which I don't think counts as he wakes as soon as we stop. I may occasionally get him down for 40 mins at lunchtime but it can take 2 h of boob/singing/rocking/shushing to get there so not convinced it's worth the effort.

Though I'm lucky he's rarely been ill he Grizzles and cries almost constantly at times and is perpetually unsettled.
I've got to the point that I don't think I want to meet up with mummy friends anymore as their babies always nap while mine Grizzles and I always have to leave early. I also have to hear how well they're doing.

Am I exceptionally unlucky or does this sound normal at 5mo? I am beginning to look forward to returning to work because although I can cope with the nights the days often seem interminable. Watching other mums seemingly holding it so much more "together" is really getting me down.
I should add that the only thing that gets me through the week is the fact that my very supportive dh generally "takes over" at weekends including doing Fri and sat night shifts. But I feel bad about this because he works hard during the week thus never really gets a break.

5month old too. wakes 3-4 times a night, when we go to baby groups sits and frowns at everyone or cries (happy and giggly at home, go figure), someone even said "shes not a very happy baby is she?"!
havent worn make up since i was pregnant, which was roughly the same time as my last haircut. living in pjs. walk for 2hrs every afternoon in all weathers just to get her to nap or she doesnt go to sleep before 9pm. my house is a tip.
end up comparing myself constantly to my friend whos child is the same age- shes been on holiday, had nights away with her husband, gets time to do her hobbies and did I mention shes lost all her baby weight?!

I just keep telling myself it'll get better, I'll be more organised and cope more. Really hope it does.....
You are not alone

Oh milk that comment made me lol. So it's not just me.
My DM said the other day "maybe you should try and keep him up till 10pm and he'll sleep better". I didn't know what to say to that!

It isn't just both of you I assure you. Took me a year to really get my swing back. You will. One day at a time.

Congrats both of you.

I've come to the conclusion that naps are critical may be obsessed. Glad Minnie says it gets better- maybe we'll be swishing out in high heels and a cocktail dress by summer dreams

My dh as a theory that all children have difficult phases so we'll breeze through the toddler and teenage years....

Just wanna say my DD was the same for a while. Once she hit 6 months she was like a different baby! People have even remarked on how totally different she is. Before she was a crier and grizzly and never napped and now she is a smiler, hyper and ... Well still doesnt nap as mich as lots of babies but still fab for her ( plus she goes through the night now 6pm- 6/7am. I think havin solids and becoming mobile have a massive impact ( she was a very sicky baby) ... Most babies seem to become chirpier once weaned and mobile, probably because they are not so dependent on us anymore?? It does get better!! I remember feeling as you do ... Constantly comparing her and then feelin bad for doing so, but now i see most babies go through phases and peaks and troughs.

Ps milkycow .... I am obsessed with nap times too! I think once established you get terrifiied of losing them again!!

Sorry i totally got your name wrong ... Milkfromthesleepingcow!

Ooh Christelle I like the sound of that! Another mantra to add to the list

Dont worry about it Madonna. I actually call myself something similar to milky cow when it comes to feeding time!
Now does anyone know how to transition two hour naps from a constantly moving pram to a cot?!

Your friends who pear to be holding it together might be a) outright lying; b) stretching the truth or c) have an easy baby.
I had an easy baby. Ds was a breeze. Slept through from a very young age, drank all his milk no probs, weaned easily, very happy and confident and loved being around people. I thought I must be a fantastic parent.
Then I had dd and oh my god how wrong was I? If it wasn't for the fact that she slept through really early on I think I'd have run away by the time she was 6 months old. She had reflux, struggled with feeding and whenever she was awake she cried. Screamed, even. She was very clingy and hated anyone who wasn't me, ds or dh. She caught every bug going.
Now though, they have swapped roles: ds, at 2.9, has hit the terrible twos in the last month or so and dd, at 1.3, is a delight - really happy and chatty.
Whoever it was that said they change in stages was, in my experience at least, correct.

*appear to be holding it together

A few friends of mine have said "if I'd have had dc2 first I would never have had another". These are the people who you are competing with, friends with easy babies who nap and coo and entertain themselves for hours on end.

My little is 6 months, terrible napper and clingy baby. I literally can not leave him for ten seconds. He wants constant entertainment and has an attention span of about two minutes. Everyone calls him a serious baby.

It's been really tough and not how I imagined. I am only now figuring out that this is just how he is, he needs me and I am actually starting to enjoy saying fuck it to the housework and playing with him all day long. And you know what? He is responding by chilling out a bit.

The solids are helping, I am more routined since weaning and have thrown out the baby led to a certain degree. He has responded to the more structured world in a really positive way ... Guess he is like me in that respect.

You are doing a fantastic job if baby is fed and clean and well loved. Ignore the competitive feeling and be proud of everything YOU have achieved.

And be there for the friends "coping fantastically". Sometimes trying too hard to show a perfect outward imprspesssion can reflect inward problems.

Months 5-7 absolutely horrendous - worst time of first two years of ds life. I have spoken to friends and many agree so I think you either have unusual friends or lack of sleep is skewing reality for you !

Worst sleep was month 5 an 6 - I barely kept my sanity

I promise it gets better once they are a bit older - ds was awful sleeper but it improved a lot at about 7/8 monts .... And then at about 10 months e started sleeping through ..

It's a grim time but you certainly are not alone

Btw what worked for me at this age - when I was having sleep problems and nap only in buggy problems was to be a bit tough with routine - I didn't think I was a routine person but really it helped so much with sleep I would recommend it

Stay in and have naps at home for a few days to get baby used to the cot - stop feeding to sleep - or feed till sleepy but put in cot awake - pick up put down technique out of baby whisperer - is boring but it works - they do get used to falling asleep in the cot within a few days but they need to go into the cot Awake ... Helps them sleep as when they wake they aren't confused cos boob isn't in their mouth!

Anyway that's what worked for me ... Hideous age for sleep!

My almost five month-old DD is also a bad sleeper. I'm getting fed up of reading baby development articles saying 'you should be feeling more human now you baby is sleeping through the night.' I wish! Last night she didn't go to sleep until 11pm, and then was up again at 12, 12.30, 1.30, until I caved and brought her into bed with us. I adore DD and in many respects she is an easy baby (doesn't cry much and can entertain herself) but I have definitely found the last couple of months harder than the first three and am having much more of a 'wobble' emotionally than I did in the early days. Sorry, no helpful suggestions, but I can empathise.

Thanks for the encouragement ladies. I have started weaning gently so fx that makes a difference and yes I do need to get more routined with naps though that will mean getting out even less
I suppose what bothers me most is that before having him I was generally a busy and organised person and able to do lots of exercise and now everything's gone to pot!

My 5 month old is totally similar. She sleeps well at night, but will NOT nap during the day without intensive help. She also grizzles constantly: I think she gets bored if I'm not entertaining her 24/7! As a result I've decided to try and get out more with her (I'm not naturally that sociable), which she seems to enjoy. Yesterday I was at a baby group. Several of the babies gently dozed off as they were being carried about in their mothers' arms! I couldn't believe it! That was when I realised there was a reason my baby doesn't respond to any of my attempts at cot napping: she is just not an easy sleeper and would never just doze off!

My thinking is that it will get easier when she can crawl etc, and can entertain herself a bit more. And they don't need naps any more by 3 right?

christelle you sound just like me I was busy, organised, exercise nut with a tidy house prior to baby. That's all gone to pot. Try to be more routined, it might help. And it doesn't have to mean getting out less - ds is sleeping at the mo, will be awake in 20 mins, and then we will go out for an hour and a half before getting back for his regimented 12 o clock lunch.

But if it doesn't help, well, it doesn't matter.

Also, you are setting the routine so do it to suit. We eat (food not milk) at 7.30, 12 and 5 each day and I am enforcing naps at 9.30 and 1. That gives us between 10 and 12 & 2 and 5 to get out and about. We can also go out at nap time too - he just has to sleep in car, buggy, sling ... But at the moment I am desperate to crack cot napping so am staying it at nap times.

This is a work in progress for me, we have been doing it only a matter of days ... But the improvement has been major.

I felt a lot like that too.

Two of my friends had babies around the same time DS was born, and the difference between them was staggering.

DS was unputdownable. I remember being astounded at my friend gently placing her AWAKE baby into a Moses basket and looking at her as she cooed and drifted off to sleep. Alone. For 1.5 hours.
Meanwhile I was rocking, singing, shushing, patting, dummy-ing and feeding DS to sleep. Often it would take 45 minutes to get him to nap for 30 minutes.
I spent a lot of time clock watching to make sure he didn't get overtired but it made no difference, he fought sleep like a bloody gladiator fighting a lion!

To be perfectly honest, I found the first year very hard with him. We had a rough time from 18-24 months too, he was a very loud, stubborn, tantrumming toddler then (again, while my friends' kids were quietly holding hands with mummy on walks). DS would throw himself on the ground in the middle of the road, refuse to hold my hand, run away, scream blue murder in his buggy or car seat... it was exhausting!

However since he turned 2 he is far more manageable and far more agreeable. He's also really inquisitive, intelligent and funny. Far more so than said friends' kids .

I do think DS was my "typical" number 2. The good news is that said friends' are actually on number 2 now, which should make for interesting viewing when they hit the awkward stages!

Haha violater ...!my dd is probably regarded as a 'typical 2nd baby' too. Though I find her so easy now (at 9 months) compared to newborn -6months. im experiencing the total opposite to friends... All of whom find it increasingly harder as their babies grow. It is very interestig to watch - and as awful as it sounds- i cant help buy feel a lil smug at the fact my dd threw me in at the deep end from the get go (in terms of being a demanding baby)! Consequently; i find it easier and easier!

Christelle re naps - I found once I had spent a week or two sorting them out a little bit I could get out as we had a routine and it didn't matter about being out - but not saying it's what you should do just that I actually found it easier going out once we has a vague sleep pattern to the day - partly as I was less tired because I rested when he slept rather than paced around parks endlessly with him in the buggy

quintessential you are givig me hope !!

Also OP I don't mean to sound so with it. I am honestly now. It all went out the window today - cue much tiredness, screaming and sleep fighting - his not mine ... Though I did find myself declaring "when is it bedtime??!!".

Argh. It's a good job I love the littl mite really, it's all that keeps me hanging on sometimes !

Ahhhh the dream of a baby who would happily coo, alone, and being able to make drink a cup of tea.

Perhaps next time eh?

Oh dear. Epic typing fail.

*giving me hope

*i am honestly not

*little mite

Head in a spin tonight.