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Original poster

Is she too young to be self training?

44 replies

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 16:42

dd3 was two at the end of last month, over the last week and a half she has begun to take off her nappy at various points during the day , put the seat and step in place, then going to the toilet (both types!). She then waits for her bottom wiping, puts the steps away, flushes the toilet and either asks for her nappy back or trots off to play!

Now, so far, she has not had an accident at any time she has chosen to have her nappy off, however, she is still wet and dirty in her nappy at other times (every day).

So, I have always allowed my children to self train and typically this has been at around 3 and dry nights has quickley followed dry days. I am desperate to get my last child out of nappies (oh the thrill of never changing another nappy ever ). However, I have resisted my selfish urges as I do believe it is best to allow children to be ready for this stage.

SOOOOOoooo wise mumsnetters is she self training, is she picking up on my selfish vibes and attempting to fulfil my unspoken wishes or am I reading too much into unrelated incidents that all two year olds go through?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FloatingOnTheMed · 23/07/2006 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

apronstrings · 23/07/2006 17:00

my eldest dd was dry and clean during the day before ds was born when she was 26 months. She showed some interest (but using a potty) I put a potty out and took her nappy off - with in two or three days we were just about accident free. I would praise and praise her, go and do the big girl pants thing, but not put pressure if it doesn't work out. If it does GREAT - enjoy being nappy free!

juuule · 23/07/2006 17:01

It does happen. My 5th and 6th children were out of nappies just past their 2nd birthdays. Had already been having dry nappies at night with 6th child so took the nappy off during the day. Hey presto. Have tried them all from 2nd birthday but usually they were back in nappies after a week and try again at 2.5y, by which time it would take about 2weeks to get the hang of it fully.
One of my neices was also dry day and night by 2y with very little prompting.
Wouldn't it be great if it was that easy with them all
My youngest child (3y1m) refuses to give up her nappy and cries for it to be put back on

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Rowlers · 23/07/2006 17:02

My DD is 2.4 and has been self-training for a while now. We have followed her lead and she is dry and clean! in the day and almost at night too.

Original poster

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 17:02

It is odd, in honesty I don't think there is any doubt she knows what she is doing as it is always neatly timed so she clearly thinks "ooh I need the loo" (or whatever 2yos think!) then goes upstairs, sets up etc and sits down without any panick in good time to "perform"

I think I am in a bit of denial as she is so young, I am scared to give it a go in case I fail at it this time and leave her with a complex in the future! Am I just a wimp?

OP posts:

Original poster

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 17:04

Rowlers, what did your dd do and when?

OP posts:

apronstrings · 23/07/2006 17:05

no not a whimp - try it for a couple of days low stress - if you don't get cross or upset you can go back and try again a little later - I have done the same as juule with my ohters - given it a week at various intervals and given up if it wsn't working.

PiccadillyCircus · 23/07/2006 17:07

I think she sounds ready to try. DS was about 2.3 and as I hadn't expected anything to happen until he was at least 2.6, was taken a bit by surprise .

Original poster

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 17:09

Hmm, I guess I am going to have to bite the bullet here arn't I!

The thing is each time before it has been so easy as they were older and understood easier so we had almost no accidents etc!

Still - the draw of no nappies....

OP posts:

Rowlers · 23/07/2006 17:15

We left a few potties round the house from around the age of 2.
DD mainly ignored them but sat on the occasionally (fully clothed) when reading books.
We gently encouraged (do you want to do a wee on the potty?) but answer was usually "no".
She likes to run around naked so about 3 months ago we started to take her nappy off about half an hour before her bath and leave her bare-bottomed. This time gradually got more and more and she just started off her own bat to sit on the potty when she needed a wee. We gave her lots of praise and she loved going to flush. She started also doing her poos on the potty and loved the whole flushing business. Very soon though she got bored of that and the praise / flush ritual has almost gone - she just performs and gets on with whatever she was doing.
Have now asked nursery to try and on her first day was dry all day - used potty with no problems.
We also have a little toilet seat which she likes.
I have just started to go out with her in pants and not nappies and she has been great - tells me every time she needs a wee / poo and can hold it till we find a toilet.
Still in nappies at night but they seem quite dry in the morning - holding off on that one for a while until a clear 7-10 day run of dry nights I think.
It'a been very easy - she's my first though so hard to guage!

psychomum5 · 23/07/2006 17:17

My DS2 (and was exactly one week past his second birthday and told me in no uncertain terms that he was now a big boy and so was to wear pants.

my face = !!!

One week later, he was in pants and dry thro the day.....also dry three nights out of the five. He is now 4 and is still the same night wise, but then his brother is six and also still wet sometimes so that doesn't bother me.

I always went with my kiddies toiletry cue....if they told me knickers/pants I went with it. And all were dry within a week (except for DS1, but he was the only one who I tried to train as he hadn't asked by the time he was 2.6yrs and I was impatient....he took the longest and so taught me a lesson in going with the childs wants/needs.

I would say go for it, and see. If she isn't ready then so be it, but I think you'll find that she knows what she wants

Original poster

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 17:21

The only thing is though, she does not ask for pants, she just has no nappy for a while IYSWIM, she always comes back for her nappy later, as if she is bored of keeping her mind on the task?

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Rowlers · 23/07/2006 17:24

No, my DD took a fair while to want to wear pants - as I say, we had a fair few weeks of just nappy off in evenings and DD still wanted to wear nappies a lot.
We just went at her pace and she gradually got used to it / started to prefer it.
DD wasn't ready for us to push it.
And I didn't want a battle so we went with the flow.
It worked fine for us.

apronstrings · 23/07/2006 17:27

securmummy - lol she sounds so mature and in tune with hersef!!

psychomum5 · 23/07/2006 17:55

Just go with what she asks for then for now.....so if she asks for no nappy, then no nappy it is....alternatively, if she wants nappy on, then put it on. Have you thought about the pull-on type nappies? That way she can take it on and off at her will, and should she stay dry in one for a couple of days then try her with some knickers. And if you go for knickers, get some cheap ones that you won't mind chucking should she soil herself in them. I tend to get knickers/pants for mine either from primark or in the sales. That way I don't spend much on them, and equally if I have to chuck a pair it won't break the bank!

HTH, and good luck. Tis a fun stage!!

Original poster

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 18:45

Apronstrings, yes she is very self-possesed

Psychomum5 Ithink that is a very good approach (basicaly as we are now but "turning up a bit" IYSWIM) I dont get on with pull-ups but I could start buying cheap nappies and pants so it doesn't matter how many she goes through!

Thanks everyone for your advice/experience, I am confused by her age and it is nice to know she is not the only one to start this behaviour sosoon!

OP posts:

Pollyanna · 23/07/2006 18:48

my dd1 trained herself just after she was 2. She just said one day "mummy I want to wear knickers now!" so I put some on her, and she never had an accident.

Original poster

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 18:53

Pollyanna - I'll have one of those please

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 23/07/2006 19:12

Wow, secur - I'm really impressed!

It sounds to me as if physically she's there, but maybe she's not quite ready in that she can't always keep the concentration going.

I think I'd just go with the flow for now (so to speak ) as Psycho suggests. Keep it pretty low key and see how she goes for a day or two. Perhaps frequent gentle reminders about the toilet might help if she switches off and loses concentration? And if you're not going for knickers yet perhaps try some of the easy-up nappies - maybe a change from standard nappies (if that's what she's in) would act as a reminder or a prompt.

Good luck ... fingers crossed that you're about to be nappy-free!

Original poster

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 20:52

Cheers WWB! I can't believe I am nearly through this stage

Do you know I have changed nearly 25,000 nappies - not counting any children other than my own.

That is just scary!

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 23/07/2006 21:43

Good heavens, that's a lot of nappies

They do get very wearing after a while, don't they ... still waiting for dd to be ready to drop them at night

Original poster

SecurMummy · 23/07/2006 21:58

Sure is - I had to work it out 5 times to make sure that I had it right as it seemed so high!

I am sure dd will get the night thing soon, she has had one or two good trys now hasn't she? Has she made any noises about trying again recently?

OP posts:

hulababy · 23/07/2006 22:01

DD was dry and clean at 24 months. She decided one day she didn't want nappies any more. First day we went pantless and had just a couple of accidents. Day 2 onwards we had baggy pants on and loose fitting clothes. By Day 3 no more accidents again, and we were able to go out and about too.

However she is now 4y3m and has by inconsistently dry at night (and out of bed pants) only since turning 4. She still has accidents at night regularly, despite being desperate to be fully dry.

WigWamBam · 23/07/2006 22:16

Secur - no, she hasn't, not really. She asked the other night not to wear a nappy but we had agreed that she needs to be dry for three nights first, and her nappy is still absolutely wringing wet in the mornings. There doesn't seem to be any chance of it happening for her yet - I have no problem with her being in a nappy but it's annoying her now.

Pollyanna · 23/07/2006 22:18

secur none of my other children have been dry that early or so easily!

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