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Parenting

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Original poster

is 15 months too little an age gap between children?

30 replies

mustardtomango · 28/12/2013 18:18

Only have ds right now, but now the birth has faded were keen to go with our plan of getting pregnant when ds is 6 months old. Is this doable (recognise will be hard), or are we just insane?

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JingleJohnsJulie · 28/12/2013 19:45

Of course its doable but you know its going to be very hard. You might not get pg straightaway though.

Blackpuddingbertha · 28/12/2013 19:50

Not too little, no, but expect a tough first year. After that things get easier and the small age gap makes entertaining them easy as they like the same things. Mine are great together (now 6 & 7).

Make sure you are physically ready for another pregnancy too. I sailed through the first but the second damaged my back for life!

LynetteScavo · 28/12/2013 19:51

Lot's of people do it! DM did it and so did Dsis.

Personally I wouldn't I have a 2+ year age gap, and that was a bit close for my liking, but it seems to be the norm form many people.

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RandomMess · 28/12/2013 19:53

We had a 14 month gap as I got pregnant again first try it was fine but physically hard as I got severe spd and had a 98th centile non-walking baby for the whole of my pregnancy (during the heatwave as well!!)

No regrets, it's my favourite age gap as I've also got a 5.5 year gap between the eldest two and 2 years between the youngest two.

Audilover · 28/12/2013 19:54

I have 19 mths between DC2 and DC3, 15 mths between DC3 and DC4 and 13 months between DC4 and DC5.
It can be hard work at times but a lot depends on the personality of the children.

atomicyoghurt · 28/12/2013 19:57

I did it, and yes its fine but a very hard first 6 months.

And yes like bertha says expect a bad second pregnancy. My first one was fine but my body hadn't recovered enough. I miscarried the first pregnancy (when dd1 was 5 months) but went right back at it and conceived when she was 6 months. I had horrendous SPD (they talked of steel plating my pelvis) and pre-eclampsia that hospitalised me from 35 weeks. Dd2 induced at 37 weeks.

All in all I didn't think it was fair on dd1 to put her through such a sick mummy period. But it's lovely now they are older.

I swore I never have less than 18month gap after that. Dd3 came along 20 months after dd2.

BikeRunSki · 28/12/2013 19:59

There are 15 months between DH and his brother. MiL had always said it was hard to start with (2 babies in terry nappies!!!) but once BiL was walking, he just did what DH was doing, just learnt to do it earlier, and was pretty straightforward from once they were 2 ish and 3 ish.

I have a 3 year gap and it is really hard. There us nothing in the world that a 2 yo girl and 5 yo boy both want to do.

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 28/12/2013 20:00

Theres 15 months between my two. Theyre teenagers now.
it was fine. Having babies is knackering! But it wasnt a huge deal. We just got on with it, as you do
different people prefer different options. I know people who had their second after their first started school. It was the option that worked best for them but I'd have hated it! Going back and starting all over again? No ta

Skiingmaniac · 28/12/2013 20:00

It is very doable...my two are 12/13 months apart and yes it was hard at the beginning but they are 6&7 now and are very close

GoodtoBetter · 28/12/2013 20:02

That's a shame BikeRunSki, I have a 5.5 yo boy and 2.5yo girl and they like doing the same things and mostly play nicely together. i really like it as an age gap.

RandomMess · 28/12/2013 20:02

I did washable nappies too .

My youngest 3 were all within in 3 yeaers and 6 weeks but it was fine, you life is very little baby/toddler focused for a while but then they all grow up together - years of all enjoying going to the playground and doing similar things which makes life much easier IMHO.

Creamycoolerwithcream · 28/12/2013 20:02

My DB and I are 15 months apart and I loved it growing up, during our teens and still now 40 years on.

Iwaswatchingthat · 28/12/2013 20:02

Doable and there is definite long term gain, but be prepared to not remember a thing about the first year of your second baby's life other than it being very hard work!

mizu · 28/12/2013 20:08

My dds 17 months apart, now 9 and nearly 8. Quite hard for a couple of years but now a breeze as they are very close and can fight like cat and dog play together for hours.

neversleepagain · 28/12/2013 20:10

My sister has a 15 months age gap. Got pregnant on the first try.

Original poster

mustardtomango · 28/12/2013 20:57

Thanks for all the replies, it's interesting how positive most of you are about it.

How do you make sure the firstborn isn't left out / sidelined?

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Iwaswatchingthat · 28/12/2013 21:04

My dd was too young to even know I was pregnant. There were no 'mummy's going to have a baby' discussions! One day she was an only, the next day she had a baby sister.

They are def not sidelined as they have to be very involved in it all. We got through it all together. We were very close! You need a sense of humour to get through it all. My dd does not remember being without her sister. She was very proud of her from the word go.

FairyTrain · 28/12/2013 21:05

I would totally recommend a small age gap, I had 15 month + 2 day gap between DS and DD, the first year or so of both was hard but now they play together really, DS was so young that he doesn't remember a time before DD. My DB and I we're the same and have a good relationship too.

clara85 · 28/12/2013 21:17

15 month age gap here as it took almost 2 years to concieve ds1 , we started when he was 5 months old and only took 1 month.

I actually found the first year " easy" apart from the sleepless nights from 2 boys waking , its now they are 2 toddlers it feels like its getting harder and harder and they still dont sleep well and are both in nappies :S

I would recommend it though, as ds1 never knew any different and no jealousy issues x

clara85 · 28/12/2013 21:21

eta other benefits are both still nap in the day, ds1 was not sidelined as when ds2 was born he slept alot it was only once ds2 started crawling and then walking it got harder although now they are starting to "play" together when not fighting its easier as they entertain each other and love all the same toys and things to do i cannot imagine having a bigger gap, alot of our friends have 3 year gaps and i look at them and think i now have it much easer than they do :)

somewhereinessex · 28/12/2013 21:26

We did it although neither were planned. Quite tough at times and they switch from being best buddies to all out war in an instant but I wouldn't have it any other way. They like the same stuff, can wear the same clothes and are constantly being mistaken for twins.

RandomMess · 28/12/2013 21:26

Dh used to do everything possible for the elder one once he was home (because I couldn't lift her) so when the newborn came along she was a little put out for the first 3 days if Daddy held the baby but absolutely no issues other than that, no jealousy at all.

ShoeWhore · 28/12/2013 21:27

I have a smaller gap between dc2&3 and overall I love it.

BUT I think it made a big difference that it was my 3rd baby when I had that gap. It is quite hard dealing with a non sleeping baby and early stages of pg - I was quite glad that I had already found my feet with dealing with babies first iykwim?

Apart from that I found the early days time consuming but not hard as such. It was harder when they were both in toddler tantrum mode tbh.

Sorry, I sound negative don't I? I actually love my small age gap and wouldn't have it any other way! The older they get the more we reap the benefits tbh.

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 28/12/2013 21:29

You just give them lots of attention.
its fairly easy because newborns are quite dull also they stay where you put them! So you can feed them while reading a story to your eldest, put them down to sleep and play with your eldest, have one of you go out for some 1:1 time, etc etc.
its when the baby becomes mobile that it gets more tricky!

Mitzi50 · 28/12/2013 21:37

17 months between mine - very hard work when they were babies, but as they grew up family outings were easy as they had similar interests. They are teenagers now and I'm beginning to wish I'd had a bigger gap - the prospect of 2 of them at uni is quite scary.

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