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Original poster

Bloody hate dummies but dd is driving me to distraction- talk me down!

43 replies

littlecloud · 22/12/2013 23:30

Dd is dc3, I hate dummies & both my boys never had a dummy. I just don't like them for many reasons. But dd well she's something else.
She hates the car Fgs? Cries her little heart out on most journeys. Won't be put down for more than 10 minutes, won't sit in the pushchair. She lives in a sling, & co sleeps. If she isn't in the sling or being fed or held by me she'll whinge. She's only a month old but then it's were such chilled babies and she is not! A dummy is looking very tempting right now but I don't want to go there!! Please tell me she will chill out?

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breatheslowly · 22/12/2013 23:42

I don't know if she will chill out, but she might find her thumb. As the mother of a thumb sucker, I strongly suggest you try a dummy.

MostlyCake · 22/12/2013 23:47

My son is like this and he's just turned 5 months... we were totally anti dummy but I have used one 3x just to get something done - hair cut, one night dh was working away and ds was going nuts while I tried to sort his bath and once when I was at the end if my tether.

The dummy calmed him down and although I'm still not going to use it often, I'm not going to rule it out completely.

We're planning to try to get him used to being put down and not constantly bring carried over the Christmas break while my dh is off work. If you can try to nip this in the bud now you will be thankful in the long run!

Good luck!

Original poster

littlecloud · 22/12/2013 23:47

She just seems a lot more needy than both my boys and I co-slept & exclusively bf them too. She's just a different kettle of fish. I have a feeling a dummy would help her no end. But I just can't get over my intense dislike of dummies.

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lola88 · 22/12/2013 23:51

Try not to think about your feeling towards dummy use try to think of your little baby having something to sooth her and make her happier, it's just a dummy and you can get rid of it later.

Twinsplusonesurprise · 22/12/2013 23:54

It's only a dummy. It's not forever either. If it soothes her then why not?

Original poster

littlecloud · 22/12/2013 23:56

Oh I like the idea of an emergency dummy for extreme circumstances! God I'd love it if I could put her down and I'm just hoping as she becomes more alert she'll happily sit by herself. I literally can't get stuff done. My previous experience of newborns is they sleep for hours. She only sleeps if on me. If she's put down she wakes up fussing. The car thing is most distressing the crying usually only lasts 10 minutes, but on a 10-20 minute journey that seems like a lifetime! Cuts right through you.

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munchkinmaster · 22/12/2013 23:57

I was not pro dummy but had got one free with a steriliser. Dh in act of desperation one night gave her it and it was a miracle. I beat myself up for months about it, had some half hearted attempts to wean her off but here we are at 1.5 with a dummy in. Should have rolled with it, a non issue in hindsight.

Sometimes wish we had never used it but she has had so much comfort from it too. Been through the throws of dummy addiction and tantrums for it but now accepts it's only for sleeping and hands it over in the am.

Do what you got to do....

FannyFifer · 22/12/2013 23:59

Jeez just give the bairn a dummy, it's not a big deal, no need for all the angst.

starlight1234 · 22/12/2013 23:59

My DS had a dummy as he was using my boob as a dummy..he gave it up himself at 3 months...

If this is your third you will need sleep to be able to get around so many things you already know...

You don't have to keep a dummy for years but if it makes a happier baby than well worth it

Also it may help you to look at it from another angle news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4509240.stm

Original poster

littlecloud · 22/12/2013 23:59

I know I should try and see it as a positive thing. I could just use one for a few months and when I choose too like only the car for example.

OP posts:

breatheslowly · 23/12/2013 00:19

Wouldn't you rather give it a try to see if she finds comfort in it? It seems a bit mean not to.

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark · 23/12/2013 00:32

Jeez. Why would you withhold something that might soothe you're little baby. Plenty of time to get rid later on.

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark · 23/12/2013 00:32

*your

SilasGreenback · 23/12/2013 00:33

I was also anti dummy, but ds3 wanted to be cuddled or feed constantly, and it meant his older brothers got no attention. One night I sat him in a bouncy chair and gave him a dummy and he was settled for the first time in 2 months. He is now 9 and no less smart than his brothers! It really did him no harm, but saved me and stop his brothers resenting him I think.

Bonzodoodah · 23/12/2013 00:47

I'd go with the dummy too. My two DC had them and they gave them great comfort (both were suckers - BF for 2 hours at a time ...)

Also maybe check out your DS for anything like reflux? My DS (second child so more confident) was a right crying baby and I couldn't do anything. Dr gave me Gaviscon to try but that was to mix in a bottle and as I exclusively BF he would not take it. Looking back I am sure that was the issue that made him cry every ten minutes - lying down, or sitting up or carried or put down. Poor baby ... Just might be worth a try for yours.

SoonToBeSix · 23/12/2013 00:52

Just give her a dummy its not poison. Also dummies reduce cot death risk.

TakingTheStairs · 23/12/2013 00:56

I don't understand why people are so anti dummies (or soothers as we call them in Ireland)
It's a temporary measure that calms and soothes your child. It's easier to get rid of a soother than stop thumb sucking.

Your child is one month old ffs, if it will comfort her then give it to her. Doesn't automatically mean she'll turn into a toddler with it permanently attached to her mouth.

ScrambledSmegs · 23/12/2013 01:01

My DC1 was a very unsettled, clingy baby. I suspected silent reflux as she had all the symptoms, but GP said not. The dummy was the only thing that helped in the end.

She only had it for going to sleep, it was fine.

And goodness, I wish DC2 had liked dummies now. Still sleeping badly at 1yo!

mumofboyo · 23/12/2013 07:13

I really don't see a problem with dummies: if they offer comfort when you're unable to do so what's wrong with that?
My ds wouldn't take one and found his fingers. 2.8 yrs later he's still sucking them.
Dd had a dummy because she was much like you describe your dd: clingy, fussy and in constant need of reassurance. She had it for 6 months until she went to sleep without it one night and hasn't had one since. At 1.3 she doesn't have the dummy or her fingers.
I'd much rather see a dummy - which can be taken away - than fingers/thumb which can turn into a lifelong habit and cause all sorts of issues with teeth.

SMorgauseBordOfChristmasTat · 23/12/2013 07:16

Dummies saved my sanity. Twice.

brettgirl2 · 23/12/2013 07:18

Why do you need talking down? You are thinking about a dummy not standing on the edge of a tall building.

I don't understand the dummy obsession, they are great for little babies but if you don't like to see toddlers with them remove before that point. People make it out to be a bigger issue than it is.

FinallyGotAnIPhone · 23/12/2013 07:18

I think dummies look a bit naff. With dd1 I used from the outset but took away at 7 months.

With dd2 I vowed I'd do the same but she cries all the time so now at 9 months I just can't bear (for my sanity) to take the dummy away and I actively put it in her mouth a lot!

I'd just give her the dummy and not worry about it.

SpottyChristmasCakes · 23/12/2013 07:19

I wish mine had a dummy. Dd sucks her thumb and has contact dermatitis from it, she also picks her face whilst sucking her thumb.

Ds sucks his thumb and it's really red and sore all the time.

Give her the dummy.

NutellaStraightFromTheJar · 23/12/2013 07:54

I started using dummies after sitting in the back of the car for hours with my finger in 2 week old DS's mouth. I wasn't keen before he was born, but DS liked to comfort suck and I was ending up as a human dummy. From about 6 months we stopped offering dummies apart from during nap and night times. He now (16 months) still has a dummy but only ever for sleeping. It has never been an issue with his speech for this reason, and I'd rather have to eventually take a dummy away than stop him from sucking his thumb! I'm still a bit anti seeing toddlers walking around and talking with their dummies in, but for a small baby and for sleeping it's really a non-issue.

Follyfoot · 23/12/2013 07:57

My DD had a dummy. It was a thing of wonder. I think there's a lot of snobbery about them, but actually they can be brilliant.

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