When you have lost your identity in your children how do you find yourself again???

[carnation]

I am just beginning to realise that after 16 years of children I do not know who I am anymore. I find it difficult to find time for myself without feeling extremely guilty for having done it. Someone asked me yesterday that if I had the whole day to myself what would I most like to do. I could not think of anything. I live the biggest percentage of my life for my DH and for my children - is this so wrong?? How do you begin to find yourself without having the guilt trips!!!! Anyone any suggestions!!

carnation, (my favourite flower by the way) I have got to the stage where If you asked me what my goals are, I couldnt even think of one, how bloody sad is that.

Im in the blame game me and reckon its 4.5 years of not being able to finish a sentence without interruption or finish what I am thinking. The old brain has forgotten how to function.

I wouldnt dream of studying anything, one cos it doesnt interest me anymore and two I wouldnt retain the info anymore, I would have to work twice as hard as any other student because of it.

Maybe its just early dementure

Mmmmmmmmmm, Shirley Valentine thing sounds good but without the bloke at the end of it cos I cant be arsed with that either! Inspecting me stretch marks ooooooooooooh noooooooooooo.

Rickman looked up your thread to steal your suggestions!!! You sound like my friend. It is very hard to be positive when you feel someone has more than you have. You need to keep focused on yourself and what is best for you and your children. No one can ever take away the most important role as a mother. No matter what children need stability and security.

Tenalady I am not sure what my goals are either. The only reason why I am studying is to prove to myself that I am not that dense and to hopefully get a better paid job to support the family. Also believe me you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

I should have gone out for a coffee with my friend tonight, but guess what, I did not have time. .