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Parenting

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Original poster

How do you organise night duty?

61 replies

IndecisivePramBuyer81 · 19/12/2013 07:23

I'm still on mat leave and DH works full time so we agreed I'd take night duty Sunday-Thursday, he does Friday and lets me have a lie in the following morning and we alternate/barter over Saturday. We're both up by 7 on work days.

Recently we've been sleeping training DS so in the interest of consistency I've been taking all the nights. DH sleeps on the sofa so he's disturbed as little as possible.

I've just got up with DS after a particularly bad night, and DH has to cover the late so doesn't have to be in until later and he's gone back to bed for an hour leaving me with DS.

Is that fair? I can't help but feel he should've let me have that hour. Or am I being selfish? He freely admits work is easier than looking after DS!
Am thinking I need to suggest a rearrangement of duties in the New Year!

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Aquariusgirl86 · 26/12/2013 17:48

Wow I have quite clearly got this all wrong, I pretty much do it all 7 days a week, we did have an arrangement when I went back to work p/t that dh would do 2 nights a week but he never wakes up anyway so I've pretty much done 7 days a week with 2 insomniac toddlers for the last 2.5 years. The only ones he's done recently are when I've been working a night shift 8pm-6am once a week..... But he's still got it easier then as I'm up all night anyway. I think I've just trained myself to not need sleep now as I don't really get too tired

MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/12/2013 18:55

Funny how he manages to wake on the nights when yiu arent there....byt not when you are.

thatdaisygirl · 27/12/2013 05:19

I go to bed v early - around 6pm after I've fed baby and then DH keeps baby on him downstairs for as long as possible while getting DS1 ready for bed. If baby wakes, DH brings him up for a feed but deals with nappy changes and winding etc. Then around 12 DH brings baby up to bed and then I'm in charge of everything. This way if baby sleeps well in early morning I get 8 hours sleep in a few chunks -marvellous! If baby doesn't sleep -like tonight refusing to settle in cot for more than 15 minutes from 11.30pm last night - I've at least had some sleep and can function (sort of)

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annieorangutan · 27/12/2013 05:25

With dd1 he was up every feed as ffed but with dc2 I did the lot whilst on maternity as bfing but I wasnt doing anything all day then so didnt bother me and then when I went back to work dh did alternate nights.

JethroTull · 27/12/2013 20:37

I'm clearly very lucky - we alternate. Husband usually does the late bottle at 10.30 then we take turns in getting up at 3ish. In the week when husband is at work we both get up at 7am. At the weekend we each have a lie in (until about 8.30). It's easier to share the load because we're using formula. My husband 'takes over' when he gets in from work - does bath time and I either make the tea or if I've had a bad day then I lie on the sofa for half an hour!

glossyflower · 28/12/2013 07:47

I just want to say that when I was on mat leave I got up at night the whole time. DH got up occasionally but generally it was me as DH works full time.
Now I have gone back to work we have agreed that on nights before my work days DH gets up and rest of he time I do it.
I work full time but I do three 12hr shifts, days nights and weekends
It hasn't really worked out fairly IMO as when DH doesn't want to take his turn, he says "but you only work 3 days a week".
Recently, I worked nights, the daytime I got no sleep as I was looking after our DD, I worked a 12hr nightshift and got home absolutely exhausted having not slept for 24hrs. DH said as I was getting into bed, "can you get her up and give her breakfast cos she was unsettled last night and I'm tired"

fish88 · 28/12/2013 08:15

I'm breastfeeding but my partner is still able to help during the night. He gives the baby a bottle of ebm at 10am. I'm not asleep at this point but it gives me time to get ready for bed. Then during the night my partner does all nappy changes then brings him to me to feed. The only exception is when my partner works a late shift followed by an early shift. He is only home for 6 hours on these nights so I feel it is fair for me to do all the nightwakings and let him get as much sleep as he can.

Shellywelly1973 · 28/12/2013 18:14

I've never understood why both parents would get up at night!

The longest I've ever fed a baby at night is 4 months with dc4. By that point I wanted to put him downstairs to cry it out but dp wouldn't let me so he got to do the night feeds!!

I think your all amazing... 6/9/12 of broken sleep! Sod that...

WeeTeaJenny · 29/12/2013 06:45

I do all the night feeds , my partner works full time and I'm on maternity . I never get a break even at the weekends ... when Im back at work I'll still be contending with two very poor sleeping children ... last time I went back to work when Dc1 was 6 months and he was still up at 3am nightly for a feed and I had to do this plus full time shift work . Reading all the above posts , you ladies have some very supportive partners .

Mrsantithetic · 29/12/2013 09:57

Dd is 16 mo old still wakes x3 per night to bf. I've always done all the nights and mornings with exception being returning to work for three months doing night shifts where I just missed that nights sleep out completely.

I do get a lie in once a week as does he.

MissRatty · 30/12/2013 08:48

Four weeks in...so may not last, but DH does 9pm until 2am, and I go to bed, then I get up and do 2am onwards.

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