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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Quick!! someone tell me your stories so I dont feel so bad

52 replies

fortheloveofmike · 14/12/2013 05:07

Ds woke up tonight and his clothes were wet so I changed him in the (nearly) dark. All ok til I put his mitts back on and he started crying, wasn't sure why at first til I checked his hands and his first finger was bent back I checked it and once it was straight again he was fine and ive just checked it again to see if he cries when I press it gently but hes fast asleep so obviously its fine.
Just wide awake now as feel so awful and he really did cry... hes only 5 months too

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MrsUptight · 14/12/2013 20:12

The time I dropped The Contented Little Baby Book on sleeping week old DD's head. She was in her basket on the floor and the stupid book was nearby on the arm of my chair....I swiped it off and it landed on DDs tiny forehead, startling her awake!

5HundredUsernamesLater · 14/12/2013 20:22

I once trapped my daughters arm in her bed guard as I clicked it into place, well I tried to click it into place, when it wouldn't click into place I used a little more force and then realised as my daughter started screaming why it wouldn't click into place. Oh dear!
I also injured her pride when I decided it couldn't be that hard to cut her hair. It is. It got shorter and shorter as I tried to even it up. It looked awful and I had a sleepless night planning how I could keep her off school till it grew back.
Just had a right laugh reading all the other posts though! How cruel

cathpip · 14/12/2013 20:35

No I have never dislocated dd's elbow (twice) or allowed ds to taste test rinse aid:( , I am a responsible parent!!

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Showy · 14/12/2013 20:41

You're all awful. Terrible people. The sort of people who would happily be married to the sort of man who would drop their 5 week old baby out of a sling and onto the lawnmower blades whilst unblocking them necessitating a stay in hospital.

tass1960 · 14/12/2013 20:43

I have never slipped on the way down stairs and on impact catapulted my baby into the skirting board (resulting in a hospital stay and a narrow escape from social services) - neither have I ever been putting out this dinner and touched his ear with a straight from the oven baking tray - he is 24 years old today just graduated so no real harm done:)

RedlipsAndSlippers · 14/12/2013 20:45

I've never watched in horrible slow motion as tiny DD forward rolled off the arm chair I had wedged her up in while I got her bottle ready... She was absolutely fine, while I cried for 2 hours about what a horrible mummy I was :/
I've also never bumped my tiny BIL's head on a wall and completely failed to cheer him up before MIL and DP returned home, despite much frantic waving, smiling, and comically bumping my own head. In my defence I'd never actually held a baby before, which I'd told them before they left!

DipMeInChocolate · 14/12/2013 20:46

My 1yr old launched herself off the sofa today face first whilst I was getting her a biscuit. My 5yr old was too slow to catch her. Not my fault...

ImaginativeNewName · 14/12/2013 20:53

I have never left the Hoover lying round when my busy 3yo was able to somehow get it running and er, stick his finger in it, leading to a friction burn and weeks of hospital appointments. Only a very poor parent would do something like that. Possibly like some of the ones you guys know.

ItsAWonderfulCervix · 14/12/2013 20:53

I am a wonderful perfwct mother.

I have never dropped a child on a stair scarring her forehead forever.

Nor let said child walk around for a week with a broken arm.

Nor nuffink. Oh no.

Shaky · 14/12/2013 20:53

I absolutely never, ever knocked a whole pint of juice all over my ds when he was 18 months old.

DorisPenguin · 14/12/2013 21:23

My mothers only daughter, once ran over her sons foot; on seeing him crying in pain, she put the car in reverse and ran over it again!!!!
She is stupid

Indith · 14/12/2013 21:33

Oh gosh mine have all been bashed and maimed in various ways. They are all alive though and seem to still love me.

Original poster

fortheloveofmike · 14/12/2013 21:43

Am absolutely feeling ALOT better now.. thanks everyone

OP posts:

Extremewife · 14/12/2013 21:51

I have never lifted baby 2 weeks old in bathroom and smacked his head into a cupboard door or dislocated hia brothers elbow thwn put him to bed tovsleep on it all night no no not me

TodayIsAGoodDay · 14/12/2013 22:39

Dd started crying once while I was driving. I looked behind me and her car seat had rolled onto its side on the backseat, with her still strapped into it- I had forgotten to use the seat belt. Oops.

MrsSpencerReid · 14/12/2013 22:51

I just remembered, my mum dropped me when lifting me over a stair gate back in the day when they had large screws/bolts, one of which ended up impaled in my bottom!!

spritesoright · 14/12/2013 23:04

Today we had a similar carseat incident except the car seat was locked in but DD's straps weren't done up. I put my foot on the brake and she went flying into the seat in front of her and landed on the floor (that was DH's fault though).
On another occasion I may have allowed DD to climb into her buggy thinking she would sit down only to find that she in fact stood up in it and tipped the whole thing over backwards, sending her head first into the pavement.
On the other hand, I lost my balance on the front steps last week whilst carrying said tantrumming DD and managed to fall in such a way that she remained unscathed while I scraped up my knee and elbow and banged my head pretty hard.
I am redeemed, right?

bonzo77 · 14/12/2013 23:20

it's amazing my sons have survived...
Fell off a horse pregnant with DS1 (me pregnant, not the horse).
Pushed DS1 away when he was climbing all over me when I was doing important work MNing. He landed on the corner of my bedside table, thought he had spilled my drink everywhere, but it was blood from his head.
Feeding DS2 through his naso-gastric tube in SCBU. You attach a syringe and suck back a bit to get some liquid to check the pH so you know its in the stomach not the lungs before you start. Sucked back. Felt some resistance. Pulled a bit harder and...BLOOD! I'd damaged the lining of his poor little premature baby stomach! The nurse was very nice about it, said it happens a lot and took the tube out. Was a blessing in disguise as it accelarated his progress to oral feeds (they didn't replace the tube), but I was very hormonal and cried and cried and cried.
Several months later I had not left DS2 unattended propped up on the sofa. Oh no. And I wasn't eating biscuits in the kitchen when I heard him crying. And it wasn't me who thought "why is he crying, I just fed him" only to find him face down on the wooden floor.

rosiedays · 14/12/2013 23:49

Me! No i never threw up (3 times) on my darling 5 year old when she moved the sick bucket and made herself a bed on the floor next to me :(

rosiedays · 14/12/2013 23:52

Nor did i leave her in the chemist at 4days old and not realise till I got home

Hohohowhatfuckeryitis · 15/12/2013 00:01

I do know of an appalling woman who trapped dd finger in door. She is fifteen now and the bump on her finger is her only physical flaw.
And the same woman once walked out of boots with the wrong tds. And the other kids were girls too. She is a Jeremy Kyle-esque monster.

BobPatSamandIgglePiggle · 15/12/2013 00:13

Just tonight my sister may have been a tiny bit cross that her nearly 2 year old had spilled his rice crispies whilst she was in the kitchen licking the baking bowl washing up. She may have pulled his little seat back a bit too quickly to get to said spilled rice crispies and watched helplessly as he toppled from the chair and landed head first on the floor. She has tried to make up for it by checking every 20 minutes that he's asleep and not unconscious though.

i do not have a isiter

Melonbreath · 15/12/2013 08:33

I mistakenly handed pfb dd aged 5 months to drunken sister at a wedding who was wearing 4 inch heels so I could pee. Cue mad drunken dancing and a full on face down tumble. Baby was furious but fine. Sister mortified.
I learnt not to give babies to tottering drunkards after that.

MrsSchadenfreude · 15/12/2013 08:38

I never cut my DDs' nails as I am as cackhanded as they come and thought I would probably cut the tops of the fingers off.

MJP1 · 15/12/2013 20:33

Making me laugh xx I too nipped the top of the baby's finger when cutting her talons( sorry gorgeous baby nails) I still hate cutting them now.

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