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I haven't got post natal depression but...

8 replies

cookiemonster100 · 13/12/2013 21:37

Hey all,

I don't feel depressed but I do get bouts of being down & teary eyed after a very traumatic birth 6 weeks ago ( crash c section). I want to do something about it but not sure what. I have booked to go on the birth reflections service in Jan.
I love my little boy dearly & want to sort myself out but not sure if this is just a waiting game & I will soon be ok or I need to tackle this. The GP & Health visitor feel that I am doing really well & have ruled out PND however I do put a brave face on it in front of them. The lowness seems to hit towards the end of the day when I am knackered.
Any coping advice would gratefully be received,
Xx

OP posts:
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Ginnytonic82 · 13/12/2013 22:07

Don't have any useful advice but wanted to say, please try letting your GP or hv know, the chances are this is just normal baby blues caused by hormones, but they will be able to help you and advise you if there's more to it. I do have pnd and found telling my hv how I felt was a huge help, my husband was with me and has been an incredible support. The other thing that helps me is talking, if I feel low I tell my hubby or my mum, or I post here. The support I've had from mumsnet has been great.

Toklastennis · 13/12/2013 22:10

I had a very similar experience and found it useful to remember that it's normal to be teary and emotional, and that it will pass. Also, try to get enough sleep if you can - can anyone else give you a couple of hours off during the day? I found that six hours sleep every 24 hrs was enough to cope. Also, it's really important to see friends - get them to come over and have a good chat about everything. It can be very isolating being a new mum. I'm sure you're doing a very good job, so good luck and keep going xxx

MightilyOats · 13/12/2013 23:03

Hope this passes quickly for you. Hormones do play a big part in this, and being a new mum is an overwhelming experience (I challenge anyone to say otherwise!) especially if you're not getting much sleep.

If it doesn't resolve in a week or two I would definitely go and see your GP. In the meantime, sleep whenever you can -doesn't matter if it's 10am or 3am, if you can manage it, do it! Good luck op.

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clairikins · 14/12/2013 11:29

I had a EmCS in feb and I was in real shock afterwards. It took a long time to come round to what had happened. Only you can determine if you have PND, the hv and gp are going on what you have said. I have had depression in the pass so knew I wasn't in the same boat, it didn't feel the same

It's good that you are getting help in jan, I know that the nhs try to help women in the same boat get their head around it.

cookiemonster100 · 14/12/2013 15:26

Thanks everyone. It doesn't help that LO is not a great sleeper either nor does he settle well with others. Hubby is working long hours & weekends so yes I do feel isolated. I am ok in the day as I organise seeing people / going out its the evenings when it's dark, I am tired & on my own with him. Hubby is a messy sod as well so can leave me with a messy house to sort. That has caused some friction between us as I resent him leaving me with this mess plus he gets to sleep & he resents me as he feels I am criticising him. All of this plus the labour, grizzly high maintance LO has started to get too much. I would love a good night sleep & to be able to have a soak in the tub! Maybe one day....

OP posts:
Hessy · 14/12/2013 15:32

I went on a MamaHeaven yoga retreat when my son was nine months, in Seaford, Sussex. There was a birth stories session and it wasn't until I told my story that I realised how much it had affected me. If yoga's up your street and you're in the South-East, I'd really recommend it... http://mamaheaven.org/ MamaHeaven

Hessy · 14/12/2013 15:33

MamaHeaven trying again!

mrsannekins · 15/12/2013 20:20

I have to say, as a mummy who is recovering from PND, that my health visitor was fantastic when I was finally able to tell her exactly how I felt. So, don't be afraid to be yourself, they are there to help you, but can't unless you are honest with them. Believe me, that it is a big relief when you are able to tell someone exactly how you feel.

It does sound like you might be suffering from PTSD, in one way or another. Going to a birth reflections may help you understand what happened, but you might benefit from some counselling for a while as well to deal with the emotional trauma. Again, your HV or maybe the reflections services should be able to help you with this.

But you are also only 6 weeks into your recovery, so you really need to be kind to yourself, and give your DH a huge kick up the bum to do more than his share of the housework, and give you a bit of time to yourself. I think everyone finds the long dark nights of winter hard going, but yes, it is more isolating when you are on your own. But it's the shortest day next Saturday, and then everything starts to suddenly lighten up again.

Be strong, it is very hard work, but does get easier x

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