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Original poster

Grandparent sent one chocolate advent calender for 2 children

115 replies

bacon · 02/12/2013 19:12

How do you explain how this works to a 4yr old and 8yr old especially as my MIL sent one each.

OH shakes his head in despair.

This isnt unusual as on her regular travels she buys a fridge magnet between them (not always - may get the free chocolates off the bed).

She does no baby sitting or takes them out.

I'm concerned as the 8yr old may start commenting on this soon

How do I handle this for the future?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Claire5517 · 03/12/2013 22:02

FFS why is it that some of you people have a go at others all the time and talk to others like you are trying to belittle them?!!! It's quite obvious that this is just the cherry on top to the OP. NO ONE that I know would give one present to more than one child. Yes, it's good to learn to share etc but Christmas is also a time to feel SPECIAL, and yes in some childrens minds, that is to have a present all to themselves.

So OP, what I would do is buy a similar one so they have one each and get them to say thank you to GP as normal.

Bowlersarm · 03/12/2013 22:22

......which is what I suggested about 24 hours ago Claire

Hashbag · 03/12/2013 22:24

What a depressing conversation. OP, is it right to judge a person's worth by reference to what they give you? Clearly not, so why would you want to pass on a message like that to your children?
Teach your children to value their grandparents because they are family, and because they love your children, and not for what they can give you all. Shame on you for caring about who gives most. A simple explanation that any gift should be appreciated should be enough of an explanation to your children; they probably don't care themselves anyway. Life is not all about materialism!

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Notsoyummymummy1 · 03/12/2013 22:29

Don't tell either of them - just have the choccies for yourself - you've earnt it!!!

BrianTheMole · 03/12/2013 22:33

Yes, agree, eat them yourself. In fact, have it as your calendar and open a window every day. Win win. Or just cut the chocs in half.

Claire5517 · 03/12/2013 22:35

Oh my.......people on here seriously need to get a grip, I think what the OP was getting at hashbag is that she doesn't take the children out etc, which surely would show that the GPs love them?!! And no, before you all kick off and say taking them out to places and spending money etc on them is materialistic, I mean just spending TIME with them.

BramblyHedge · 03/12/2013 22:35

Even my two year old dd understands the concept of sharing the advent calendar with her two brothers.

Claire5517 · 03/12/2013 22:36

Woop di do all your children must be angels!

Claire5517 · 03/12/2013 22:38

Classic example of a MN thread. Have a go at each other and say how fantastic and better behaved all of your children are compared to everyone elses!

ssd · 03/12/2013 22:40

jesus if I bought one advent calender to share between my 2 kids there would be a riot!!

I didnt realise folk were so tight inclined.

BackforGood · 03/12/2013 22:41

Seriously at 4 and 8 they've not grasped the concept of turn taking ?

ssd · 03/12/2013 22:41

exactly claire!!

who the effin hell shares a £2 advent calender round a family jesus christ live a little

ssd · 03/12/2013 22:42

at £2 each backforgood they shouldn't have to!!

CreamyCooler · 03/12/2013 22:42

The OP's children have a calendar each from Mil, half of one from DM, how many each do they need?

BackforGood · 03/12/2013 22:45

They already have an Advent Calendar each - the logical argument (if you want to talk 'need') would suggest that it only takes one calendar to count down to Christmas day, so they don't need anymore anyway.

hoppinghare · 03/12/2013 22:45

I think it would be odd to send two. No wonder kids don't like sharing these days. Do they have a Christmas tree each? We have 1 advent calendar for our 2 year old and 4 year old. It is 'the' advent calendar and they love seeing whose turn it is each morning. It was nice of your Mil to give them one.

MinesAPintOfTea · 04/12/2013 07:03

Advent isn't a time to feel special, its a time when you should be preparing your soul for the coming of Christ. This didn't require vast quantities of chocolate

ssd · 04/12/2013 08:10

we arent all religious nutters pintoftea

matana · 04/12/2013 08:29

What most others have said.

It might be a bit tight of her, but i get really frustrated with entitled children (who turn into entitled adults) so the earlier they learn to share the better. Break the chocolate in half or get them to take turns. No big deal. Even my (only just) 3 year old understands that concept.

I too have a mil who generally can't be bothered with her grandchildren. It's weird and i don't understand it, but when she buys DS something (he has never received an advent calendar, it's all she can do to remember his birthday) we get him to make a phone call to say thank you. Manners cost nothing even at such a young age.

mankyscotslass · 04/12/2013 08:35

My three DC are sharing on Advent Calender between them - they take it in turns.

They are 11, 9 and 8.

It's not a problem.

cheminotte · 04/12/2013 08:40

I have only bought one chocolate advent calendar for my own DC. I asked the eldest if he wants to do odds or evens and then they take it in turns. I always did this with db growing up.

rubyrubyruby · 04/12/2013 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ladymontdore · 04/12/2013 08:52

I have a spare chocolate calendar.

MIL sent each DC a beautiful picture advent calendar. Then preschool gave DD2 a choc one.

I explained that a) granny had already given them one
b) in our family we don't like chocolate calendars as the point of advent is looking forward to Christmas not eating chocolate.

3.6 year old was happy with that.

I am finding the 'in our family' phrase increasingly useful to explain why people do things differently.

Your DCs should be able to share though, esp if they have already got their own calendar! On this occasion I don't think your MIL was being deliberately annoying - maybe she always shared things with her siblings so that is her norm.

ColdTeaAgain · 04/12/2013 09:00

rubyrubyruby - I remember my mum having to keep track of who did the even days the year before so that we also took turns getting the 24th!

caitlinsurrey · 04/12/2013 09:06

Get the kids to write her a thank you card and in it say how she has taught them the importance of sharing as they split the chocolate everyday. obviously I'm being sarcastic but it would be funny!

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