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Original poster

Monkeyt's results...

100 replies

monkeytrousers · 04/07/2006 21:57

upper 2/1.. sorry girls

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saadia · 05/07/2006 07:08

Well done, that is a very good result. Don't give up on the studentship yet, you never know it might not be as bad as you think.

SherlockLGJ · 05/07/2006 07:16

Jolly well done.

Original poster
monkeytrousers · 05/07/2006 08:25

Thanks so much everyone and thanks for that advice too Ellbell. I am honestly assuming about the first and know I've left it too late to apply this year. I was thinking of internal studentships too as I couldn't move away.

Dp spoke to me this morning and said that hes about as disappointed as it's possible to be.."you had the opportunity, the time, the talent to get a first more than anyone else on the course but you didn't have the discipline. You may as well have done it when you were 21. You can never go back and change that result now.."

Trouble is I know he's right.

he just missed a first himself when he was 21. Think he might be reliving it.

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FioFio · 05/07/2006 08:30

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Original poster
monkeytrousers · 05/07/2006 08:30

I'm not going to the graduate ceremony Ellbell, (my choice) because i couldn't have taken DS as he;d still be under 2.

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Original poster
monkeytrousers · 05/07/2006 08:31

Just ds Fio, now 21 months. I took a year out to have him and then went back to finish last year

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FioFio · 05/07/2006 08:36

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LadyTophamHatt · 05/07/2006 08:41

Sorry, MT but it sounds like your Dp is talking to you as a dad would.

It'd piss me right off tbh....I tell him to shut his mouth and try doing it when you're at home witha baby at the same time.

Doing the bloody housework is hard enough witha baby in tow but a degree?? Tell him to give it a go....

OMG...I'd be soooo pissed with with my DH if he treated my achievements like that.

CarolinaMoose · 05/07/2006 09:08

the time???

no way could I have done the third year of my degree with a toddler to look after. You've done incredibly well, don't let your dp take that away from you.

expatinscotland · 05/07/2006 09:16

MT
I'm really sad to hear of this disappointment. This should be a joyful occassion, b/c it's such an achievement.

Please, please don't let this set you back long term. So much of these final results is quite subjective.

In times like these, I'm always reminded of a quotation which never fails to inspire me: 'It's never too late to be what you might have been.'

Congratulations, MT, you've earned it!

gothicmama · 05/07/2006 09:18

You have done really well ( as fellow student and mum I salute you for doing it) you do the best you can with the time youhave I know I won't get a first even though I am capable of it becasue I have the kids so long as I get a 2:1 I will be happy - you need to check out about the studentship - I'm sure tehy will help - can you not apply to teach some classes or facilitate seminars- to help out money wise

spacedonkey · 05/07/2006 09:18

Agree that dp is belittling your achievement, and it does sound as if the words he spoke to you are actually the things he's has been kicking himself over since he was 21. I think it's appalling that he isn't supporting you and making you feel good about yourself when he must know that you are disappointed to miss the first yourself. It's not his place to make you feel worse about it

morningpaper · 05/07/2006 09:23

bad luck MT but look into the Studentship thing - ask your tutors etc. for advice. There might still be a chance. You are SOOO clever and have SO much to give. You are DEFINITELY more original and more clever than LOTS of people who get 1sts. You have so much to contribute to the debate and I'm sure that anyone who knows you or reads your work will see that. You are NOT an average student! Don't give up hope yet. xx

Pruni · 05/07/2006 09:57

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Caligula · 05/07/2006 09:59

MT congratulations on your excellent result. It does sound like your DP is re-living his disappointment all over again. 2 1 is a very very good result and more than most people have got, your DP (and you I think, MT) need to get some perspective on this. Firsts are still rare. If your DP acts like this with you, how is he going to react when your dc gets a B instead of an A? Talk about focussing on the negatives. OK you're not guaranteed the studentship you were sort of half-banking on, but you will get something else which will probably be just as good or better. It just means re-arranging a few of your thought-processes and possibly living plans. FWIW I got a 2 2 and it didn't stop me having a brilliant career before children. And I didn't have a child to look after while doing a degree - you've done phenomenally well, you should be very proud of yourself and your dp should be very proud of you instead of wallowing in old disappointments.

FWIW I got a 2 2 and it didn't stop me having a bloody good career before children.

Pruni · 05/07/2006 09:59

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niceglasses · 05/07/2006 09:59

Oh well done MT - just seen this. I think this is brilliant. Are you a bit disappointed? I think with a young child you have done fantasically well...........

Caligula · 05/07/2006 10:40

Sorry repeated myself. Don't want to be that emphatic! But I do want to be empahatic about the fact that with a young child to look after, to do a degree at all is an amazing achievement. To get a 2 1 is phenomenal and deserves a bottle of champagne at the very least. Celebrate!

Original poster
monkeytrousers · 05/07/2006 12:20

Thanks

Yes please Pruni, a heads up would be good on those evolutionary biologists with a foot in the feminist camp. I only know of Helena Cronin to be honest at the mo.

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Scumster · 05/07/2006 13:25

Hope you are feeling better this morning, mt, you degreed up woman of wonder. I've been feeling cross with your dp all night!

Pruni · 05/07/2006 13:39

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BadHair · 05/07/2006 14:14

Well done Monkeytrousers! Good result! I think the funding site that Moondog mentioned earlier might be \link{http://www.researchresearch.com/ResearchResearch}. I always point post grad students there for funding.

BadHair · 05/07/2006 14:15

ResearchResearch

Ellbell · 05/07/2006 19:38

MT, am very sad at what your dp said to you. I hope you are able to tell yourself that he is talking about himself, not you, and that you should celebrate your achievement. Sad that they won't let ds into graduation. I took Babybell to dh's graduation at 4 months old (Babybell was 4 months old, not dh - he's bright, but not that bright ). It went on forever (Cardiff - so had to do it all in 2 languages, and he was last on) and Babybell filled her nappy loudly and smellily halfway through.

BTW, dh got a 2.1 and has a PhD. He got funding (at least, part-funding) for both his masters and his PhD... so it is possible.

Hang on in there, explore all possibilities (including Wingate - few people know about them, and a friend of mine got funding through them), and keep telling yourself that we all know how brilliant you are.

Original poster
monkeytrousers · 05/07/2006 21:20

Thjanks Ellbell. Wingate does look very promising. I fall inot all the right categories.

I wrote DP a letter tonight. Very decisive saying this is a beginning not an end, that I cannot allow him to construct a myth of failure and shame around something that will resonate for years to come. That yes, i diodn't perform to the best of my aolities but I certaily didn't fail either. That what matters now is what happens next, it?s all in the conversion not the pass.

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